Can't Sleep For Shaking With Anger

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I've studied in college for 4 years, Uni an extra 2. Filmmaking is my life, it's all I want to do with myself. I had a job interview when I left Uni. Just one. I virtually grafted my way onto this interview; I called everyone and put my name out there, I made contacts and dropped these names during emails to companies. I offered FREE work, I did EVERYTHING in my power. And all my efforts yielded a single interview. But I was happy with that. I got my suit on, my CV, armed with my years of knowledge and the contacts I've made who threw their weight behind me.

 

I didn't get the job. They told me I didn't have enough experience. They liked me, they thought I showed "great range and impressive knowledge" but they chose someone with more experience. Ah, okay. Well I was close, at least.

 

That was back in September.

 

So tonight I ran into an old colleague from my college days. We got to catching up, he asked if I knew what everyone was doing now, I told him who I was still in touch with and what they were doing, I asked the same of him and this is what he said,

 

"Well Kristen made it, I'm sure. She got a job working entry level at this company called Red Gate Media back in September."

 

The bottom just fell out my world. Turns out she and I interviewed for the same place, same time. Same job. I checked her Fb and yep. There it was.

 

Let me tell you something about this chick: she's not more experienced than me. For starters she's 5 years my junior. In college she didn't give the impression of caring too much. I never spoke to her much but she never got involved in our discussions about films and future. Furthermore, she admitted to being unable to operate a camera - really?!?! So we're now hiring young, virtually uninterested girls who don't know how to operate basic equipment over guys who've been into this field for years and who are clearly passionate about the job.

 

But hey, she's pretty, bubbly, more outgoing than me and has a nice smile and fairly large breasts. Who needs talent when you're attractive, right?

 

I feel like giving up. Why try so hard and knock on so many doors if I'm competing against young girls who get hired more for their personality than the experience or knowledge they bring to the job...

 

All this time I thought I'd genuinely lost out to someone more experienced, someone wiser, but this feels like a personal insult. I'm sitting here burning with rage over this.

 

I'll never get anywhere in this f*cking business...

[Radu]

The world is a small place.

 

She doesn't have it made, everyone and their mother saw the girl who is 'artistic' because she can make a picture black&white, and bought herself a semi-pro camera.

 

Your skills with time will only go up, her skills will only stagnate if not go down ... though her resume will be filled.

And if she did get a job for her t*ts, then that's all she is worth and she knows it ... a pair of t*ts.

 

Run through this a few times, and start a new plan to make it.

Life is full of dissapointments, focus on the wins and put the losses out of your mind untill you make it.

Edited January 12, 2013 by Radu

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

The world is a small place.

 

She doesn't have it made, everyone and their mother saw the girl who is 'artistic' because she can make a picture black&white, and bought herself a semi-pro camera.

 

Your skills with time will only go up, her skills will only stagnate if not go down ... though her resume will be filled.

And if she did get a job for her t*ts, then that's all she is worth and she knows it ... a pair of t*ts.

 

Run through this a few times, and start a new plan to make it.

Life is full of dissapointments, focus on the wins and put the losses out of your mind untill you make it.

 

I hear you Radu, but how do you motivate yourself to continue? I'm sick of worrying every day about my future. Spending sleepless nights trying to figure out how I can a decent job instead of working nights in a bar for a pathetic wage. I'm not saying I deserve this job, but I know I'm more qualified than this girl. Fact. So that leaves me to wonder what she had that I don't. A better personality? Femininity? I can't change these things! All through college and Uni they tell you if you work hard and prove you want it, you'll get a job. Well here we have evidence to the contrary. Trying hard only got me a half sincere pat on the back while I now get to watch a young girl rise well above me and make a career.

 

How can I not be angry about that? How can I stop this rage building up? I want to crack open a bottle of Jack Daniels and curse every moment of my life, but then you'll find a thread from me on every category on this site as I begin to deconstruct my life. I hate being in this kind of mood, its consuming and self-destructive. I think I should give up on the life I want. Give in to self indulgence.

[th90]

I know nothing about film-making, getting the job, etc. but here's what I can tell you about anger.

 

Being angry is equal to being self-centered. The angrier you are on the company and the girl, the more self-centered you are. People get angry when things dont go their way, and they get angry because things should have been the way the centre of the universe(yes that's you) expected them to be.

 

I'm not saying it's wrong to get angry. We are not saints. But there has to be a limit and end to it. How long have you been angry? And to the point of wanting to give up all you have for people who don't appreciate your talents? That's something.

 

I know you feel demotivated by how things have turned out to be. Sorry to say this, only losers give up. You will never find the job.

 

So if you still wish that things would change for you, you need to stop being angry. It doesnt matter if the girl has less to offer in terms of talents. Whose loss? Yours??

 

It's none of your business in the first place which company decides to hire who and on what condition. Your purpose is to find the job you'll love and deserve. So find it. People can let you down ONLY if you allow them to. You can't control what the interviewers and employers are thinking. But you can keep improvising yourself in every possible way until you find a company that appreciates what you have to offer.

 

What does people have to say about you if you give up now? "Well thankgod I didnt hire him!".

 

And where does your anger bring you? Nowhere. And it makes you an unhappy man. Probably unhealthy too, mentally and physically.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I know nothing about film-making, getting the job, etc. but here's what I can tell you about anger.

 

Being angry is equal to being self-centered. The angrier you are on the company and the girl, the more self-centered you are. People get angry when things dont go their way, and they get angry because things should have been the way the centre of the universe(yes that's you) expected them to be.

 

I'm not saying it's wrong to get angry. We are not saints. But there has to be a limit and end to it. How long have you been angry? And to the point of wanting to give up all you have for people who don't appreciate your talents? That's something.

 

I know you feel demotivated by how things have turned out to be. Sorry to say this, only losers give up. You will never find the job.

 

So if you still wish that things would change for you, you need to stop being angry. It doesnt matter if the girl has less to offer in terms of talents. Whose loss? Yours??

 

It's none of your business in the first place which company decides to hire who and on what condition. Your purpose is to find the job you'll love and deserve. So find it. People can let you down ONLY if you allow them to. You can't control what the interviewers and employers are thinking. But you can keep improvising yourself in every possible way until you find a company that appreciates what you have to offer.

 

What does people have to say about you if you give up now? "Well thankgod I didnt hire him!".

 

And where does your anger bring you? Nowhere. And it makes you an unhappy man. Probably unhealthy too, mentally and physically.

 

You say "find it," but here I am, trying. Have been for years. It's an unjust world where it is not the hardest working who gets the work but the most personable. I think I have a right to be angry. And I know it doesn't change anything, it won't get me a job, but what else can I do?? Plug away for years and years maybe never getting my foot in the door? What would you suggest? At this point, I'll try anything.

[th90]

You say "find it," but here I am, trying. Have been for years. It's an unjust world where it is not the hardest working who gets the work but the most personable. I think I have a right to be angry. And I know it doesn't change anything, it won't get me a job, but what else can I do?? Plug away for years and years maybe never getting my foot in the door? What would you suggest? At this point, I'll try anything.

 

You need to stop justifying your anger. Look you may never get the job that you want. Do you want to be angry for the rest of your life? For all I know, at least I would have stopped being angry whether I ever get the job or not.

 

And by being happy, only then, good things will come.

 

There isnt anything much people can do to lift off your anger or get you a decent job. Only you can.

 

I know you're disappointed. Like I said, all these negative emotions are there only because you allow them to be. If you think you have the right to be angry, ok, be angry. I only hope it doesnt make you an unhappy man and affect your health in any way.

 

Sorry I dont think I'm helping at all. You have all the rights to be angry, for as long as you want. I'm just asking you not to give up and stop being angry.

 

There's nothing much I can suggest to you. I'm still studying. But if you havent found a job for years, should you try looking elsewhere? Outside of country, maybe? Or look for something better than your current job until you get the job you wanted. You must stay positive.

[darkmoon]

start your own company?

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

You need to stop justifying your anger. Look you may never get the job that you want. Do you want to be angry for the rest of your life? For all I know, at least I would have stopped being angry whether I ever get the job or not.

 

And by being happy, only then, good things will come.

 

There isnt anything much people can do to lift off your anger or get you a decent job. Only you can.

 

I know you're disappointed. Like I said, all these negative emotions are there only because you allow them to be. If you think you have the right to be angry, ok, be angry. I only hope it doesnt make you an unhappy man and affect your health in any way.

 

Sorry I dont think I'm helping at all. You have all the rights to be angry, for as long as you want. I'm just asking you not to give up and stop being angry.

 

There's nothing much I can suggest to you. I'm still studying. But if you havent found a job for years, should you try looking elsewhere? Outside of country, maybe? Or look for something better than your current job until you get the job you wanted. You must stay positive.

 

I know you're right, anger won't help me. I'll just end up bitter and frustrated. It's just all I can think of to do right now. I can't accept the idea of just giving up. I've wanted this for too long to walk away from it, but I'm scared. Honestly, I'm terrified it'll never happen and I'll end up in like my grandfather: in a job I hate, miserable, bitter and mean to everyone, alcoholic and alone with my anger and regret. I just want a happy life; the job I dreamed of, a loving wife, a few kids, a nice house. I just keep thinking this wasn't part of the plan. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

[UpwardForward]

Were you applying for a position as a camera-person?

 

She accepted an 'entry level' position. Do you know for a Fact that the position she originally accepted, is the same that you applied for.

 

Aside from this, the thing candidates learn through the years - is that we do not always get the jobs we seek. There may be a better job for you, and one that suits you even better.

 

Check temp agencies and others related to the field. Temp agencies can be a great way of getting your foot in the door. If they like you, they keep you and without the hassle.

[th90]

I know you're right, anger won't help me. I'll just end up bitter and frustrated. It's just all I can think of to do right now. I can't accept the idea of just giving up. I've wanted this for too long to walk away from it, but I'm scared. Honestly, I'm terrified it'll never happen and I'll end up in like my grandfather: in a job I hate, miserable, bitter and mean to everyone, alcoholic and alone with my anger and regret. I just want a happy life; the job I dreamed of, a loving wife, a few kids, a nice house. I just keep thinking this wasn't part of the plan. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

 

Take your grandfather as an example. You dont want to be like him. There is really nothing much you can do about not getting the job that you want. If you want a happy life, you will have it on one condition. By being contented with what you have at the moment.

 

Stop being grumpy. Yes, I understand this is not what you want. Loving wife, kids, dream house? They wont come until you start being happy and let go of all the unsatisfactions you have on life.

 

Prepare yourself for the worst. Say, you never get the job. Then be thankful you have a job to make your living as comfortable as it possibly can be.

 

Let go of your anger. Dont expect too much. Be happy and be contented. Things will change when you look at them from a positive perspective.

 

If you were given a chance to choose between your dream job or a loving wife, which will you choose? We dont always get the best of both worlds in life. But if you dont give up, it can happen. Life itself is a miracle.

 

I hope you stop being angry at the very least. You'll chase everyone away.

[FitChick]

Her personality may have been a better fit. She may have been willing to accept less money. Entry level could be a receptionist who makes the coffee. The boss might have been uncomfortable with a man in that position. You don't know that she is "on her way" to a great career. Sounds like she isn't that motivated so, for all you know, she will get fired or quit.

 

It's possible they may keep you in mind for something else in the future, so don't burn your bridges. Why don't you ask Kristen out for lunch and pick her brain about the place? Networking is the best way to get a job. You may discover you've dodged a bullet and would have been miserable had you gotten that job.

 

Redgate Media is a Chinese owned company. Is that woman Chinese?

[Radu]

You say "find it," but here I am, trying. Have been for years. It's an unjust world where it is not the hardest working who gets the work but the most personable. I think I have a right to be angry. And I know it doesn't change anything, it won't get me a job, but what else can I do?? Plug away for years and years maybe never getting my foot in the door? What would you suggest? At this point, I'll try anything.

 

Yes it is.

So ?

 

Will being angry change anything ?

Does it really matter how she got that job ?

 

I'm not saying you should go out there and get a sex-change, but being angry at it is not going to solve anything.

Being depressed is not going to solve anything.

Nobody owes you anything.

You are not entitled to anything.

That's how life is.

 

And you can either go forward and put it behind you, or adapt.

What that 'adapt' means, it depends on the individual.

[dreamingoftigers]

That's going to be a tough earful for someone who us hitting a loss/crisis situation like this.

 

OP: you have your goal mapped out?

 

Fitchick did give some great ideas.

 

Also take a look at The Success Principles and consider diversifying your portfolio. A lot of times a demanding niche is just waiting to be discovered.

 

You can also start your own venues.

 

How are you promoting yourself as a potential employee or talent?

 

Yes it is.

So ?

 

Will being angry change anything ?

Does it really matter how she got that job ?

 

I'm not saying you should go out there and get a sex-change, but being angry at it is not going to solve anything.

Being depressed is not going to solve anything.

Nobody owes you anything.

You are not entitled to anything.

That's how life is.

 

And you can either go forward and put it behind you, or adapt.

What that 'adapt' means, it depends on the individual.

[whichwayisup]

You know lots of people and have done a lot of freelance. Time to start using your contacts and put pressure on them to put feelers out there for you. Pull in some favours.

 

As to why she got the job over you? Who knows.. It sucks, and I get your frustration, don't try to figure out why she got the job over you. Could be one or many reasons, or maybe they just saw something special in her. Or maybe it is because she's a woman. Either way, let that go..

 

Do yoga. Really! It'll help you keep calm and also give you a sense of peace when you are stressing out.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

Thanks for your help, guys. I guess I'm just a little frustrated at the whole work situation right now. Believe me, doing freelance things and making contacts only seems to get you so far. For me it does anyway. All I can do is what I've been doing - emailing, phoning, offering free work. I can't see any other way.

 

dreamingoftigers - I don't have that business sense. I'm not a businessman at all. I'm a writer, that's all I've ever really done. I want to make films, or more realistically work for a company and edit films or TV shows. Self promotion, marketing, that's not my game. I don't have a clue what to do with that kind of thing and I'm not sure I really want to. I'm an introvert, I don't like getting in people's faces, I don't like trying to sell myself as a TV student to companies. I'll do what I need to but you say expand my portfolio? I don't have one. Nor was I asked for one or told I should have one. Given I'm fresh out of Uni I don't think I'm expected to have a large list of things I've done. I have a resume detailing jobs I've done but that's about it.

 

FitChick - they told me they liked me but I didn't have the experience they were looking for - but this girl has less experience than me. She got hired the same time I was interviewed and she and I were both Uni grads, she must have gotten the job I went for. If not, that's even worse! I can't even get entry level and she's above that? I haven't spoken to her since we left Uni and I said maybe a handful of things to her in the 3 years we were in education together so a lunch date won't happen. I'm pretty f*cked with this, I think.