Women who dislike alpha's

[irc333]

Yes....they DO exist...in fact, I've dated a couple of them, they are very few and far between.

 

One recently told me of a guy she went out with once....I kind of knew him from our social circle...cool guy, but she didn't care for him because he was too popular.

 

When was the last time you heard someone call that a deal breaker? LOL Now THAT kind of woman is for me. Cute lady, too.

 

I was kinda baffled at first, and I even had to ask her twice.

 

another woman I went out, rather attractive, too....said she typically stayed away from the chiseled, square-jawed hunks...because she stereotyped them as the ones that would always cheat on her...so by dating average Joe's or even the lesser attractive than even her, she'd be more assured they'd never cheat on her.

 

Not sure if the 2nd sounds logical, but the first does (about popular guy)

 

Any input?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Personally, I dislike popular guys with lots of friends. I am more drawn to eccentric loners. Popular guys are like mainstream music and movies: lame and bland.

[the_entertainer1]

Hmm, I know what you mean.

 

I'm a 23 year old woman. The men I find myself physically attracted to are the typical "Alphas", but I probably wouldn't date them for a couple of reasons:

 

- Although I've been told I'm pretty (not bragging, it relates to the question!), a small part of me would probably always think that they were out of my league.

- Their popularity is sometimes a bit of a turn-off. Yes, if you see someone who is in demand, it makes them more attractive (in my opinion). But it means they probably have less time to spend with you.

- A lot of the "non-Alpha" guys I know actually have way nicer personalities than the type you describe.

- Although I hate to admit it, and don't think I'm a jealous person usually, if I went out with an "Alpha", I'd probably be jealous of all the attention he'd get from other women!

[irc333]

They don't dislike alpha males, they just want to play it safe. The second one in your example actually says so.

 

So I can attribute my success with only women that fall in this category.

[La Trese]

I'm that way. I feel like its because when I date a guy less attractive than me, less friends, less popular, I feel like he pursues me more and is very clear with his interest. With alphas when i've dated them they tend to play games when pursuing and show aloofness. While that drives some girls crazy, I can't stand it when guys do that. This isn't always true but thats in my exp.

[Treasa]

It doesn't matter to me either way. I tend to be "popular" when I'm in public or out with people, but thankfully I dislike crowds enough that I rarely let myself get into that situation anymore. It's too draining.

 

As long as a guy isn't a total dick, I couldn't care less if he's an alpha or not.

 

If a guy dumps me because he thinks he can find better, he's more than welcome to leave. I don't have time for morons, and I don't limit myself to men who I think couldn't get better.

 

Hot, "amazing" women get dumped and cheated on by average dudes, and vice versa. There's no guarantee. So you better be happy with you.

[phineas]

I tend to ignore what women say when it comes to dating & men & what they say they go for.

 

If they are telling me something I can promise they have done the opposite in the past & will do so again.

[darkmoon]

But what of men who have sex appeal? No chiseled jaw or six-pack, yet very compelling, just people who you are attracted to - who others might like too - so no I'm niot keen alphas, all big heads.

[bodhesatva]

I think this very much depends on how you define "alpha male."

 

I mean, obviously most people define the concept as "someone who is very popular with other people." But others might define it as simply being physically strong; if I can beat you up, then I am dominant over you. That's a definition that would have made a lot of sense 2000 years ago, if less so today. Lastly, an ideal called the "alpha nerd" has emerged in the last couple decades, and you can imagine how that operates.

 

So it's possible that many women who say they don't like "alphas" are really just redefining what an "alpha" is. I'm not suggesting this would explain all of them, but surely some of them, and perhaps most of them.

Edited January 12, 2013 by bodhesatva

[melodymatters]

Hmmm, interesting question, I'm "quirky" and always liked "quirky". Most of them were nice looking, but not in an obvious cheesy way. Too many Hrs in the gym, to much attention to hair and clothing: UGH, major turn off !

 

This has been my pattern since my early teens Greznog, and I can't go back far enough to think: my first handholding crush at 13, was I being self protective ?!? Who knows . Strong, silent WITH a chiseled jaw, but more on the shy side, not the type to to collect people and "badges".

 

Look to the left, that's my husband who is younger than I and at 6'6, all sinewy muscle and tattoo's, does not look like a "p*ssy" and could slap the sh*t out of most guys, but he was sooooooo shy and had a crush on me for months and even then I had to make the first move.

 

It's natural that we try to catagorize people, but it seldom works as the above poster said : we all have our own definitions of hot button terms.

[MrCastle]

Yes....they DO exist...in fact, I've dated a couple of them, they are very few and far between.

 

Any input?

 

Yeah, my input is they are very few and far between.

 

Most women are wired to want a man who displays dominant, classically masculine traits.

 

Be that guy, and your dating opportunities are greater.

[irc333]

NOW I see the connection, one of the women that showed interest in me has a big interest in Dr. Seuss.

 

And no, I'm not joking.

 

In my case, it was my intellect, humor , but more importantly the same KIND or TYPE of humor that made us connect. You ever tried to make some kind of pop reference or joke and it just went over people's heads....with some people if someone "gets" you.....that plays a major role.

 

 

I think this very much depends on how you define "alpha male."

 

I mean, obviously most people define the concept as "someone who is very popular with other people." But others might define it as simply being physically strong; if I can beat you up, then I am dominant over you. That's a definition that would have made a lot of sense 2000 years ago, if less so today. Lastly, an ideal called the "alpha nerd" has emerged in the last couple decades, and you can imagine how that operates.

 

So it's possible that many women who say they don't like "alphas" are really just redefining what an "alpha" is. I'm not suggesting this would explain all of them, but surely some of them, and perhaps most of them.

[EasyHeart]

Yes....they DO exist...in fact, I've dated a couple of them, they are very few and far between.

 

One recently told me of a guy she went out with once....I kind of knew him from our social circle...cool guy, but she didn't care for him because he was too popular.

 

When was the last time you heard someone call that a deal breaker? LOL Now THAT kind of woman is for me. Cute lady, too.

 

I was kinda baffled at first, and I even had to ask her twice.

 

another woman I went out, rather attractive, too....said she typically stayed away from the chiseled, square-jawed hunks...because she stereotyped them as the ones that would always cheat on her...so by dating average Joe's or even the lesser attractive than even her, she'd be more assured they'd never cheat on her.

 

Not sure if the 2nd sounds logical, but the first does (about popular guy)

 

Any input?

That would be a huge red flag for me. It sounds like these women are really insecure and don't think they deserve a desirable partner.

[ls32ssibm]

Interesting, considering the human alpha male is a myth.

[PJKino]

I dont think any women isnt attracted to the good looking sucessful alpha some women just dont think they are in the league of an alpha or think if theyre i na relationship with one theyll cheat and as defense mechanism put them down

 

Ive seen it before where a women tears down the "alpha" talking about how arrogant he is blah blah blah and once that alpha shows interest in the women and charms her shes smitten and spreading her legs miunutes later..

[Nightsky]

I don't believe in alpha males. A better title for this thread would have been "women who dislike more attractive men" or something like that.

[carhill]

Any input?

 

There's a difference between expressed dislike and apparent lack of attraction.

[edgygirl]

Personally, I dislike popular guys with lots of friends. I am more drawn to eccentric loners. Popular guys are like mainstream music and movies: lame and bland.

 

I'm exactly like ES. Extremely popular guys are a turn off for me. When I dated a few famous guys I saw their popularity as a flaw, lol. I'm also much more fascinated by manly men looking guys than "pretty boys" alpha types. Going for pretty popular guys is a very teenage-college girl thing when we're insecure and have to prove to others (and ourselves) we can get them even if we don't specifically connect brain-wise. I'm so over it Thanks goodness for maturing.

[ls32ssibm]

I don't believe in alpha males. A better title for this thread would have been "women who dislike more attractive men" or something like that.

 

People just think cocky a-holes are "alpha". Another guy could be much more attractive, have more money and more power and seem lesser due to modesty. But yeah, they don't exist in the sense they do in the wild with wolves or anything.

[Imported]

People that purposely try to artificially dislike something they would probably like because they think it makes them cool are just lame. Especially when they try to pretend to like something they don't. If it's a person they try to pretend that they like, well eventually they'll have to stop pretending or at the very least...go for what they actually like.

 

I think most women who try to dislike "alpha's" and can actually get one, are lying to themselves.

[Eternal Sunshine]

People that purposely try to artificially dislike something they would probably like because they think it makes them cool are just lame. Especially when they try to pretend to like something they don't. If it's a person they try to pretend that they like, well eventually they'll have to stop pretending or at the very least...go for what they actually like.

 

I think most women who try to dislike "alpha's" and can actually get one, are lying to themselves.

 

What about people that genuinely dislike things that most other people like? Because they are quirky and different themselves?

 

I can never connect with popular "alphas" in a deep way. They generally have many superficial qualities but lack emotional depth.. Most guys I was truly into said this sentence at one point: "I know most people think I am weird".

[StanMusial]

I tend to ignore what women say when it comes to dating & men & what they say they go for.

 

If they are telling me something I can promise they have done the opposite in the past & will do so again.

 

LOL. That pretty much sums it up. I especially find it amusing when women contradict themselves in the very same sentence.

[ErosOcean]

I tend to ignore what women say when it comes to dating & men & what they say they go for.

 

If they are telling me something I can promise they have done the opposite in the past & will do so again.

 

Exactly. There is a major difference between what a woman says intellectually and what she responds to emotionally.

 

She will go with her emotions 100% of the time.

[TheZebra]

If 'alpha' refers to the qualities I'm thinking of, then I've never liked the alpha guys. Never dated 'em either. I think it has to do with the whole extraversion vs introversion thing. The 'alpha' as you call it tends to be extraverted, which is no good for me since I'm an introverted person.

 

Then again, I've been told my taste in men is different than most women, so don't paint me as the picture of 'every-woman'

[Alma Mobley]

Exactly. Most of the time, trying to have intrinsically rewarding relationships with super-attractive alpha-types, whether male or female, is a practice in the Law of Diminishing Returns. Certain people have a value system based on status, and to that end, they manufacture everything in their world in such a way that implies 'status' (emphasis on looks, clothes, cars, etc) but beyond materials, have very little to offer other than banality.

 

But they're popular. You know what else is popular? American Idol.

 

As a guy, I can't handle fluff. If a girl can't pique my interest on an intellectual and existential level, forget it. I don't care how hot they are. It's not hard to wrap my mind around certain women feeling the same way about men.

 

Exactly, Bob! I am exactly the same way, but I suppose some men will always think we are secretly lying.