noni Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 okay im having a problem, My current boyfriend/fiance.. i have been with for 1 year and we now live together, since i met him he has been doing coke... not alot in the begginning maybe only on the weekends, but lately we have been going out together and he does like a 40 all by himself, he got a bunch of his and my friends into it. I do it sometimes but i always know when to stop and i dont ever over do it like him that it gets to a point that his face doesnt stop twitching, he never gets disrespectful or foul, but i just dont like the fact that he does so much, ive tried talking to him but all he tells me is "i kno i need to stop".. after he does it he complains to about how his life is a mess and how he has to stop, then when the next weekend rolls around hes buying more. and i tell him remember what u told me.and he always says "this is the last weekend".. i dont even believe him! i dont know how to get through to him n e more!.. im thinking about leaving him b/c of this its turning into a bad habit! Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Please try to get him help or get the hell out. I learned a verry hard lesson this way. I was only 19 and I partied once in a while then got pregnant I stopped and he didn't. Now my son has a junkie father and that could have been prevented. It seems to me like you are ready to grow up and stop and he isn't. You can't make him stop partying he has to want to do it. Don't waste anymore time with him if he won't get help. Believe me I know it's hard I have been there but every weekend that rolls around there will be another excuse, then you won't be able to pay your bills, and then he will lose everything because of coke. Is this the kind of life you expected to have when you are married? If you need someone to talk to please PM me, I walked down this road for many years and getting away from it is the best thing I ever done with my life. YOu can't stay for a man. Link to post Share on other sites
loveregardless Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 I have been addicted to coke before. it is a bad bad bad thing. i even hear the word and i get antsy. he needs to stop. yes he's addicted. the only way he is going to do this without ending up in rehab is just to quit cold turkey and neither of you ever touch it agian. period. Link to post Share on other sites
pav186 Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 yes i also agree he's addicted. i've certainly had my time with recreational drugs but thankfully never because "addicted" unfortunately coke has a way of becoming the central focus in someones life, ive only used it a few times but after each time ive noticed that it kinda preoccupies your mind somewhat. You should try to help him and maybe even offer to go with him to NA or something like that. If you love him I wouldnt just ditch him because that could make things much worse for him. With that being said, you have the right not to have someone addicted to coke in your life. Its not an easy situation but the time to get this under control is now and if you wait much longer it could get much much worse. I really hope for the best for you... Pav Link to post Share on other sites
Tragedi67 Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 I would help him to quit using. I unfortunately lost my marriage due to my habit. I can relate to how he's been feeling and the outta control feeling of not being able to say enough is enough. I didn't get the help I needed, had to quit cold turkey and if I had it in front of me again, I'm not sure if I could turn it down. Be supportive in trying to help him quit by you not doing it yourself while with him. But if he gets aggressive while using it or coming down, don't be around him cause you could get hurt. Hope you can work things out with him. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I agree, he sounds like an addict. Work with him to try to get him in recovery. If, however, he refuses or won't go, there will come a point that you need to leave him. Helping him: Check out websites by doing a search on drug abuse; search for Narcotics Anonymous, they will have lots of helpful info. The more educated you are on the subject, the more it will empower you to get through this. Al-Anon is a group for family/friends of alcoholics, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a version of this for drug abuser's friends/family too. Oh, absolutely stop doing coke with him! I was with my alcoholic/drug abuser ex bf for 3 1/2 years. I'm still somewhat caught up in this (too long of a story to tell now) as he's still calling. Soon it will be 4 years that I'm living through this with him, even if we're not together anymore. Good luck. I hope he goes to meetings or to rehab! Link to post Share on other sites
Mel888 Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 I'm sure that you have heard that once someone starts to use any drug, they are more apt to start using another one. It usually starts small and only gets bigger. I never knew my boyfriend was on cocaine, but after wards I found out a lot, and the puzzle came together a lot more clear. Cocaine used with some other drugs, even a drink can make some people mean and perhaps abusive. You could try and go to a ALANON meeting, that's for people in a realtionship with a user. They can teach you a lot. Personally, I would get out now. Once a user, always a user. Just because you quit, doesn't mean it can't come back. That what an addiction is. Link to post Share on other sites
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