rebelcat Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 This is my first post.I am 33 years old and this is my second marriage. I love my husband very much. We have been married 5 years and been very much in love for at least 4. The past 2 years however have been tough. I don't know what caused the change. I know when the change happened on Christmas Eve 2 years ago. After staying up late putting together toys, we had an argument. At this time in our relationship we got along very well. We generally spoke to each other very sweetly, we cuddled often, we were proud of our sex life, I would say we were devoted and in love. But that night, our 1 year old daughter woke up and walked into the argument. He turned he yelled he basically tossed her out of the room. I got between them I picked her up. Making sure she wasn't hurt trying to calm her down. He became enraged, he punched maybe in the back of my head repeatedly. He screamed that I had dared to disrespect him. I cried and tried to protect myself I did not try to fight him . I lay down in our bed and later he layed down with me and said he was sorry and ask if I was okay. After that he act like nothing has ever happened. And months went by and things were like before, I thought it must have been a bad incident and let it go. But the way he talk to me also begin to change. When he was mad he began to curse me. He would call me names run me down. When I tried to tell him how badly it hurts my feelings and ask why, it only made it worse. Then it happened again this time a quick slap to the face. Threats and after it ends the same . It has become a pattern only getting worse. It was always a private thing. But last week we were riding in a car with his sister and family. I disagree with something he said and he slapped me and cursed me in front of everyone. So horrified. Much of me loves this man. We have children. But I am tired of getting no respect. I am tired of feeling this way I am tired of hurting and wanting him to be the way he was. I have hoped for these 2 years that he would remember how much we love each other. I no longer believe that. He rarely speaks kindly to me now and I feel like he lies to me a lot. He no longer mentions trying to change or treating me nice. he says if I'm unhappy I should find someone else. He says he's leaving after it comes to a head when he's actually leaving with his things at some point he will stop. And beg me not to make him leave and he will say that he loves me and you can't live without me and I fall for it. We have never yet spent a night apart. But I feel so dead inside and I dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 He's an abuser. You need to educate yourself about abusers and also remove yourself from his home (or vice versa). Read Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry And Controlling Men. It will help you get the nerve to leave him. Once you are gone, you can press him to PROVE himself to you by going to therapy that YOU monitor. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Did you set out to marry a man who would slap you? Would you let your daughter marry a man who slapped HER? If you don't kick him out, SHE WILL. Link to post Share on other sites
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