Boyfriend troubles... Want to work things out, but should I forgive and forget?

[angel_goddess20]

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Here is my situation. I'm 20 years old, and I've been dating this guy for a little over two years. We were interested in each other a year or more before that.

 

At the beginning of the relationship, I was a virgin and wasn't ready for sex. He really really wanted to have sex so finally, we did right before High School graduation. After about a month, he moved to the west coast because of his new job as a house-sitter for a relative. He told me he'd only be there for 3 months, but this was not the case. Anyway, we still maintained a long distance relationship. I saw him every so often, and we always had fun going out together. As 3 months passed, he still did not move back. I let it slide, things happen. But time progressed, and I only got to see him on holidays and it was so hard for me. On Christmas, he gave me a beautiful diamond ring. But soon after, he left again for work.

 

Finally, an opportunity came up for me to see him. I invited him to go to Mexico with me. I hadn't seen him in months. We had a great time, and he told me he loved me while we were vacationing. Then we departed, and I didn't get to see him for a long time after that.

 

When he'd come back here for visits, he'd stay with his parents some of the time, and other times he'd stay with me in my apartment. But sometimes he'd dissapear. I had suspicions of him seeing other girls behind my back, and I confronted him. He told me my suspicious were just my paranoia. So I blew it off. We'd have a great time together, I met his parents, and met his friends. We often partied with his friends. One time, his friend came over to my place with him. He let it slip that they were all planning on going to a strip club the next day. My BF did not tell me this. He was planning on not telling me. The night ended in arguments and after that I did not trust him. A few nights passed, and we did not talk to each other. I told him how I felt about the clubs, and we worked it out. Some days we get along just great, others we argue over stupid stuff. Then he'd dissapear for awhile.

 

One chilly night he dissapeared and I got scared. I went to his parents, his friends, searching for him. I called him, and only got his voicemail. I stayed up all night frantic wondering what happened to him. Then I walked to the store and called him from a pay phone. He awnsered and was driving somewhere. I asked him where he was and he said he just got back from a wrestling thing. It was 3 or 4 am. I did not buy this. So I pretended I was ok, and asked him to come over. He did. When he got here, he saw my face and knew something was wrong. Indeed, he was not at a wrestling gig. He drove an hour to go to a strip club. And on top of that, he went with another chick he met off the Internet.

I do not deserve this. I was so upset I couldn't bear it. The fact that he lied to me and tried to cover it up. Ouch!

 

Anyway, we somehow worked it out. Recently I flew to the west coast to visit. While I was there, I found new phone numbers on his cell phone from chicks. I found chat logs that reveals his flirting habits. I found out that he goes to strip clubs there! I found porn on his computer. I was HYSTERICAL. The night was terrible and I ran off for 5 hours crying. I did not know the area at all either. But the point is, I was sick. I really love this guy with all of my heart.

 

I finally confronted him about the numbers. He said it was girls that he talks to on the internet, and he rarely talks to them. He finds them annoying. The porn. Self explanatory. Dammit, I hate porn. Strip clubs. He went there a couple of times. But it gets worse. After me crying on his bed and wondering if i should fly home that night, I asked him if he had cheated on me. He told me he never has actual sex with anyone, but he had met several girls off the Internet back home. So the dissapearing nights were explained. He told me that he kissed two of them, and one he felt her up. He told me this was back when we first started going out.

Right now I'm not sure if I can forgive him. PLEASE someone give me some advice. He does do a lot for me, and he is otherwise a decent boyfriend. At least he came clean to me. What should I do?!?! He's still working in the west coast, and says he's planning on moving back here for good. I really want to forgive him, but I need advice. Thanks.

[kiwi]

I wouldn't. How do you know this was whenyou first startd dating? How do you know those girls numbers you found weren't girls he's seeing now. It's too easy to cheat & ge any with it when you live that far away from each other. I would just move on.

[angel_goddess20]

I checked the numbers and they are from far away from home and where he works.