when you just cannot forget it

[carolelombard]

Well,my problem is kinda typical and I'm sorry for bothering you with that but somehow sharing with my girlfriends isn't enough right now.So..there is this one boy I've been having feelings for ever since 2010,we hang out in the same company sometimes(but not very often) and like Ed Sheeran sings 'I've been feeling everything from hate to love,from love to lust,from lust to truth."-that's how I've basically felt for him.I've come to terms to accept the fact that he has only liked me as a friend and nothing more,but sometimes I cannot help but wonder,I've gone out with him alone on a 2 dates and nothing happened which I think means we're just friends,but I cant shake the feeling we would be so much more,you know..and recently I started dating all of a sudden,this other boy named E. and it's blissfull and nice to have someone who shares your feelings and I like him,really,otherwise I would never kiss him or smth..but you know,I cant take away the what if's,it's like it's eating my brain out and sabotaging my relatiionship with the new guy and everything and when the what if boy called me yesterday for my b-day it was so nice and all..so I was wondering what do u think I should do :find a way to admit it,like really admit to him what I have been feeling for him all this time and get reaaally turned down (but aat least I'll come to peace with myself,I hope,once and for all) or try to bury deeper and deeper this feeling without any success probably and find a way to enjoy my new relationship the best that I can?Cause you know,it's stupid for me to still feel blue for him after all this time even though I have new boyfriend and it would be so stupid if I broke up with him cause he is so kind and gentle to me and I like him very much,but it's not the same,I find myself wishing it was someone else very often...

if someone could offer advice,any advice,I would be so glad and thankful,I a am complete mess right now,and I would really appreciate some help