Why are women so picky?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Generally, because men allow and validate such behaviors.

 

I disagree. Just like men, women can like what we like and be the way we are because … that's how we are. Not because of the actions and behaviors of men.

 

I certainly cannot attribute my own preferences to men allowing me to and validate me having them.

[aed]

I disagree. Just like men, women can like what we like and be the way we are because … that's how we are. Not because of the actions and behaviors of men.

 

I certainly cannot attribute my own preferences to men allowing me to and validate me having them.

 

 

Carhill has a point. Every one has to have standards and is picky on some level!

 

But the problem is with allot of modern men, they accept allot of bull**** from women, only because they are women. When a guy would treat them the same way, they would hit him in his face.

WHen a women shows the same amount of disrespect, they stay nice and swollow their own dignity hoping they will have a change with her

[xxoo]

Carhill has a point. Every one has to have standards and is picky on some level!

 

But the problem is with allot of modern men, they accept allot of bull**** from women, only because they are women. When a guy would treat them the same way, they would hit him in his face.

WHen a women shows the same amount of disrespect, they stay nice and swollow their own dignity hoping they will have a change with her

 

But why do they accept so much BS?

 

Because they need something from women. More than women need something from men.

[carhill]

A woman's psychology starts from infancy and is validated/shaped/molded all along the path of life. Men are part of that process, from the first man she bonds to as a male role model, onward. Men's actions, as fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles, etc, etc. incrementally affect the developing mind and imbue images of what 'male' is within it, developing manifestations criteria/standards/ideals.

 

'So picky' is a catch-all phrase and really can mean anything. Perhaps the OP meant it to mean 'unreasonably selective'. I see it more as a complexity of interwoven criteria/standards/ideals as a result of socialization. We men had, and have, a hand in that, in a substantive way, by how we father, how we interact, how we enable, how we discourage, how we ignore, etc, etc. We have responsibility.

[samsungxoxo]

Carhill has a point. Every one has to have standards and is picky on some level!

 

But the problem is with allot of modern men, they accept allot of bull**** from women, only because they are women. When a guy would treat them the same way, they would hit him in his face.

WHen a women shows the same amount of disrespect, they stay nice and swollow their own dignity hoping they will have a change with her

Some men do the same too. There are still many women putting up with abusive bastards and cheaters. I wouldn't even tolerate getting spit in the face nor called names.

 

There will always be people of both genders with low self-esteem. You really have to not love yourself at all to let yourself get treated poorly.

[samsungxoxo]

I'm picky because I wouldn't want a loud, party-animal nor arrogant jerk as relationship material.

[aed]

But why do they accept so much BS?

 

Because they need something from women. More than women need something from men.

 

 

 

I know allot of women keeps saying this, but in the long run i doubt it.

 

Men complain that they cant get layd. And when they can they dont complain they can't find a girl.

 

Girls can get layd, but are complaining that they cant find a men to keep. So who needs who more?

 

Men put women on a pedalstal.

 

Hypothesis: lets say 98% of all men stop sleeping with women, and get their needs met with hookers. How will women behave around men, if sex isnt the biggest connection for a men to get?

[xxoo]

I know allot of women keeps saying this, but in the long run i doubt it.

 

Men complain that they cant get layd. And when they can they dont complain they can't find a girl.

 

Girls can get layd, but are complaining that they cant find a men to keep. So who needs who more?

 

Men put women on a pedalstal.

 

Hypothesis: lets say 98% of all men stop sleeping with women, and get their needs met with hookers. How will women behave around men, if sex isnt the biggest connection for a men to get?

 

Women need relationships less than men need sex. This is esp true as women earn their own money, and eschew parenthood.

 

I'm happily married. I'm not in the "I don't NEED a man!" camp. I like being partnered

 

But the truth is, women are pickier, overall, and they don't get less so with age. They get more comfortable alone with age. Also, women get a lot of companionship from strong social networks.

[aed]

Women need relationships less than men need sex. This is esp true as women earn their own money, and eschew parenthood.

 

I'm happily married. I'm not in the "I don't NEED a man!" camp. I like being partnered

 

But the truth is, women are pickier, overall, and they don't get less so with age. They get more comfortable alone with age. Also, women get a lot of companionship from strong social networks.

 

Women need relationships! and mens companion more. How about those women that cant find a good men and have allot of guy 'friends'

 

They dont need the sex as much as men. True.

 

Men have deeper bonds with their friends, etc. The companionship by fb etc is in my eyes an other substitude what they truly desire. If i look at my fb: i see allot of women posting stupid things and yes allot of men and women react on it. But telling what you are going to eat, is just a cry for attention.

 

But healthy humans accept they need each other and other people.

[MissBee]

Men have one demand, be skinny, if she isn't skinny she can lose weight.

 

Women have more demands than I could possibly know, here are some.

Be very attractive OR have friends.

Don't be bald.

Don't be short.

 

Getting friends is not 100% impossible, but hard if you are socially handicapped. Like having obesity genes. But being short or bald can not be helped.

 

Why are women so picky? No wonder they get married late now, cause they where looking for mr Perfect.

 

What?

 

Anyway, both men and women have their preferences. I see more conventionally good looking women dating men who are not that attractive than men who are doing the same actually. Lots of reasons account for this. I think lots of women are willing to overlook looks, some for the sake of character/personality and some for the sake of money and prestige...while it seems as though a lot less men are willing to do the same.

 

I don't know any man whose one demand is a woman be skinny. Most of the guys I know don't like "skinny" actually but like curves. Most of them also have other physical traits that they like and they need to be attracted to the total package physically, as well as character/personality.

 

People like what they like and there is someone for everyone. All kinds of people with all kinds of degrees of baldness, shortness, fatness and skinniness have relationships. Perhaps most women prefer tall men with a full head of hair. However, you don't need most women to like you. You just need to find the person(s) out there who like your particular look.

[Leigh 87]

I am picky in the sort of guy I get involved with.. They have to be really into me, and treat me wonderfully, and be a genuinely nice person with intergity.

 

What I am not picky with, are the typical things most women are fussy about, such as: their job, their income, and their looks or status.

 

 

.... I have become very attracted to men who I did not initially find attractive. Through loving them. Or deaply liking them even in some cases...

[Violet11]

Men need it more, so they are less picky.

 

Women don't have such a need for someone, anyone.

 

That's too sad to be true. I said I'm looking for genuine because I've found that looks are only the beginning. If you stick with shallow reasons to be with someone don't be surprised when you're cheated on or abandoned...what's the incentive to stay if you don't really care about the guy? Forget about pregnancy, etc, heartbreak is too hard, so I aim for a relationship that will last. That doesn't make my need for someone any less than a guy's....

[xxoo]

That's too sad to be true. I said I'm looking for genuine because I've found that looks are only the beginning. If you stick with shallow reasons to be with someone don't be surprised when you're cheated on or abandoned...what's the incentive to stay if you don't really care about the guy? Forget about pregnancy, etc, heartbreak is too hard, so I aim for a relationship that will last. That doesn't make my need for someone any less than a guy's....

 

But that's just it. It isn't about shallow reasons. It is about looking for true connection, and a functional relationship, and not being able to be fussed with anything less.

 

I'm looking at women my age, and that's where they are. My single friends talk about how great it is to live alone, and how they don't think they ever want to live with anyone again I can't relate, but I've got to respect their reality.

[Violet11]

But that's just it. It isn't about shallow reasons. It is about looking for true connection, and a functional relationship, and not being able to be fussed with anything less.

 

I'm looking at women my age, and that's where they are. My single friends talk about how great it is to live alone, and how they don't think they ever want to live with anyone again I can't relate, but I've got to respect their reality.

 

"It isn't about shallow reasons" That's not what I'm seeing/reading, not saying you, just in general almost every guy only thinks of the short-term and only about sex with no emotion. I'm with you about looking for a true connection, otherwise why bother? As for living alone, if you haven't had that opportunity before I think it's important to experience for a while to grow up, but at some point I think most people want to move past it and live with someone important to them.

[xxoo]

As for living alone, if you haven't had that opportunity before I think it's important to experience for a while to grow up, but at some point I think most people want to move past it and live with someone important to them.

 

They did.

 

And then they moved past that, and decided that living alone is better

[monicaelise]

"It isn't about shallow reasons" That's not what I'm seeing/reading, not saying you, just in general almost every guy only thinks of the short-term and only about sex with no emotion. I'm with you about looking for a true connection, otherwise why bother? As for living alone, if you haven't had that opportunity before I think it's important to experience for a while to grow up, but at some point I think most people want to move past it and live with someone important to them.

 

And then they move past that and want to live alone again.

[trevzilla]

Because so many girls have been told that they are perfect no matter what and they all deserve the best and if he isn't the absolute perfect man, move on.

Read Married Man Sex Life and get a real perspective on this.

 

Marry Him: Settling for Mr Good Enough says more or less the same. That this generation of women want their prince even if they aren't all that. In the past an average guy was good enough for an average girl but not anymore. I tend to think that the top guys are maintaining a harem of women that they rotate and the bottom guys are left out in the cold. It's pretty crappy but what can you do.

[Violet11]

They did.

 

And then they moved past that, and decided that living alone is better

 

Well maybe they need more time alone than most, or have been hurt so badly they can't face it, but I'm sticking with the idea that if a woman found a guy that was really important to her, that would cause a shift....she'd want to be with him more and live with/marry him. Of course that may be a big if...how often does a great guy appear?

[Els]

I don't see the resistance towards the 'women don't need men' principle, honestly.

 

Wouldn't you rather your gf/wife be with you because she WANTED to be with you for you, not just because she NEEDED a man?

 

That's why I'm not interested in the sort of men who are desperate for relationships/sex. I want to be wanted for me, not just snatched up as the closest woman who'll fulfill his 'need'.

[trevzilla]

I don't see the resistance towards the 'women don't need men' principle, honestly.

 

Wouldn't you rather your gf/wife be with you because she WANTED to be with you for you, not just because she NEEDED a man?

 

That's why I'm not interested in the sort of men who are desperate for relationships/sex. I want to be wanted for me, not just snatched up as the closest woman who'll fulfill his 'need'.

 

I read some research that said the desire for sex in men falls only behind Air, water and food. Those 3 things you die without, so it's pretty powerful. I don't think a woman can understand how powerful a drive it is in men. That being said, just because a man is sexually attracted to you doesn't mean your just a sex object. I've never been one to take off after getting sex, I also want companionship and a partner. I don't see why I should feel guilty about wanting sex. When a man approaches you for the first time, he knows absolutely nothing about you. He has approached you because he's physically attracted; that's how it starts.

[Els]

I read some research that said the desire for sex in men falls only behind Air, water and food. Those 3 things you die without, so it's pretty powerful. I don't think a woman can understand how powerful a drive it is in men. That being said, just because a man is sexually attracted to you doesn't mean your just a sex object. I've never been one to take off after getting sex, I also want companionship and a partner. I don't see why I should feel guilty about wanting sex. When a man approaches you for the first time, he knows absolutely nothing about you. He has approached you because he's physically attracted; that's how it starts.

 

You totally and completely missed my point, which was that people should be happy that their partner is with them because they want to be, not solely because they need something from them.

 

Also, no, not all men are equally desperate for sex. Some men are happy to masturbate until they find a gf who is compatible with them, rather than latching onto the first woman who'll let them into their skirts.

[aed]

I have one question: if women don't need a men, are picky etc. How come allot of women have an promouscieus lifestyle, and hit 20 guys around their 24.

 

This shows that allot women are not that picky they claim to be. But hey I want to meet the first women who openly says: "yes I am easy". Even when everone one knows 'that girl' is easy. She will claim: I was in a bad period of my life, etc.

 

Second I hope my future gf is picky and fall in love with me for who I am.

 

And to all the women who say they are picky (and can truely back this up), please stay picky, it gives us men a challenge and we will respect you more in the long run.

 

when all women are picky, it would be the same as all men have a huge cock:laugh:

[Violet11]

That doesn't make my need for someone any less than a guy's....

We'll never know which need is more but I think it's pretty equal: sex right now for a guy or a girl's need for a relationship...and as a girl I'd put it up there with the need for air, just something to keep in mind... At the same time I don't think anyone thinks there's any guilt in wanting sex..but noticing someone as attractive doesn't mean you should be having sex just yet. Get to know them, make it worth something for both.

 

Re: Promiscuous lifestyle: not everyone is the same...it might say more about your attraction to that type...choose carefully.

[Aedra]

Because too many guys just wanna use you for sex and run off. Not to mention its the woman that has to get their vagina ripped open by a baby 9 months later. If I'm going to be doing that he'd better be an overall good catch and convinced going to stick by me once we have children.

[Aedra]

[double post]