Decorative Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Attraction is attraction. plain and simple. Whether someone is involved or not. We can see that by the 60% divorce rate in America. That being said I guess most woman are unsure of themselves. Or is it the Men?? cant a man accept when he is happy? why are woman always the villians in this ****? always "the stupid one" what about the animal and compulsive behaviour of the Men? i would say he is vulnerable... and much to easy. who doesn't love attention, LOL?! It's 40% divorce rate in first marriages ( according to last census data) 75% and higher in second and subsequent marriages, especially with children. #justbecausefactsareimportantevenwhensomeoneisbeingsoflippant Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 It may take a little while to successfully groom, but this man will have no problem getting what he wants . . . and he'll get to keep his girlfriend while he's doing it. How do you figure this? You are very judgemental and quite proud!!! You are saying based on the original context of my story that I am the other woman, i am going to give in to this guy, he is gonna have his cake and eat it to. Cuz im that desperate... All i wanted was to validate if his actions were pointing to the attraction factor. Now I know that they are. And in knowing that, the power now lies with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 How do you figure this? You are very judgemental and quite proud!!! You are saying based on the original context of my story that I am the other woman, i am going to give in to this guy, he is gonna have his cake and eat it to. Cuz im that desperate... All i wanted was to validate if his actions were pointing to the attraction factor. Now I know that they are. And in knowing that, the power now lies with me. You had to come onto a board of strangers to ask if someone likes you? Actually- you even just now used the word "validate". So you responded to external validation from that guy and the people on here to make decisions? Seriously? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 How do you figure this? You are very judgemental and quite proud!!! You are saying based on the original context of my story that I am the other woman, i am going to give in to this guy, he is gonna have his cake and eat it to. Cuz im that desperate... All i wanted was to validate if his actions were pointing to the attraction factor. Now I know that they are. And in knowing that, the power now lies with me. Yes it does. What do you intend to do with that power? Do you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 It's 40% divorce rate in first marriages ( according to last census data) 75% and higher in second and subsequent marriages, especially with children. #justbecausefactsareimportantevenwhensomeoneisbeingsoflippant ^^^^^this isn't twitter. Decorative suits you nicely! forgive my error... i still rest with attraction is attraction. If everyone were so faithful, there would't be half as many STD's out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 How do you figure this? You are very judgemental and quite proud!!! You are saying based on the original context of my story that I am the other woman, i am going to give in to this guy, he is gonna have his cake and eat it to. Cuz im that desperate... All i wanted was to validate if his actions were pointing to the attraction factor. Now I know that they are. And in knowing that, the power now lies with me. don't get defensive - some people here just have a different approach, but they all mean well. i've been helped a lot. and those hard to hear things were the biggest help, as unpleasant as they seemed at first. one thing i can tell you: i wish that i came here when i was where you are now. but i thought i was strong enough and had the power too make sure your actions don't lead you to ending up a hurt mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 ^^^^^this isn't twitter. Decorative suits you nicely! forgive my error... i still rest with attraction is attraction. If everyone were so faithful, there would't be half as many STD's out there. This isn't Twitter? Say it isn't so! Rofl Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes it does. What do you intend to do with that power? Do you know? Reserve it for worthwhile adventures. Not give into his frivolous, mind ****ing. And stay true to me- he can find an oblivious victim elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 This isn't Twitter? Say it isn't so! Rofl #yessopleasestopdoingthisitsannoying Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Reserve it for worthwhile adventures. Not give into his frivolous, mind ****ing. And stay true to me- he can find an oblivious victim elsewhere. Makes sense.....Will you continue to be a part of this social circle? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 We're on the Other Man/Other Woman board for starters, so you knew exactly where to post. And you ALREADY KNEW he was giving you vibes and that he's attracted to you, so let's not pretend you don't know what he's doing. You want validation from him, just like you need it from strangers telling you he's into you. do you have a suggestion as to what other category I was to post in? my vibes have been wrong many times before. Sometimes we are blind to our own devices. guess perhaps subconsciously i had a hunch. This confirms it, thanks for that !! Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 #yessopleasestopdoingthisitsannoying Nah. I gotta be me. Put me on ignore if you can't handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Makes sense.....Will you continue to be a part of this social circle? Yes!!! why wouldn't I? he is not the only one included in this circle. Would disassociation be necessary? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes!!! why wouldn't I? he is not the only one included in this circle. Would disassociation be necessary? I don't know? How involved are you with the thoughts of his attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Nah. I gotta be me. Put me on ignore if you can't handle it. no i can handle you like a piece of cake. I take what resonates. Average minds discuss people- intelligent minds grasp truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 The defensiveness comes from not being told what she wants to hear. She came here hoping we would tell that developing feelings for her. He's not. Instead, she's getting told that he's playing her. She doesn't want to hear that. Please. No one here knows what he is doing or what his motives are. She asked a simple question about whether people thought he liked her, that is all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 I don't know? How involved are you with the thoughts of his attraction? I am not consumed by this curiosity if that is what you are asking. The question only popped into my head this evening. I can put it into understanding now. No need for further questioning. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I am not consumed by this curiosity if that is what you are asking. The question only popped into my head this evening. I can put it into understanding now. No need for further questioning. If the question only came up this evening then there should be no need to remove yourself from the group. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 The defensiveness comes from not being told what she wants to hear. She came here hoping we would tell that developing feelings for her. He's not. Instead, she's getting told that he's playing her. She doesn't want to hear that. May I ask, at what level have I reached with him as of yet to be "played" wow... I think this will be the last post I reply to from you. Waste of energy it is, like arguing with a drunk. You are def your biggest fan. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) #yessopleasestopdoingthisitsannoying no i can handle you like a piece of cake. I take what resonates. Average minds discuss people- intelligent minds grasp truth. Sweet. So because I corrected your "facts"- does that make me the intelligent party is this attempt to dig at me? LOL ( and you came onto this board to discuss people. So what on earth are you talking about? LOL) Edited January 14, 2013 by Decorative Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 i dont know him that well. All that appears a certain way is hardly ever as it seems. i am trying to figure out if this is all in my head or if his gestures are legitimate hints. I don't need to be chastised... I am the type of woman who will seek outside opinion before i assume anything, since you wanted to know. Bottom line is, he has a girlfriend whom he lives with. Don't let your ego 'wonder' if he is into you or not. It really doesn't matter since he has a girlfriend. They together have been generous to allow you to sleep on their couch - Sharing their home with you and he's a real shi.t to be hinting or even opening the door a crack for you to slip in (aka maybe have an affair with him) and you need to not let your emotions take over, don't over think this. Detach and make other arrangements, don't sleep over there anymore and stop 'getting to know' him more and more..All that's doing is getting you to like him more and you'll feel 'attached' to him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 OK, I am glad you have admitted your voracious need for external validation and attention. I understand it feels quite normal to you. But, this puts you in a precarious position. Your need for validation means that you will always need to find that someone to validate you and make you happy. In other words your happiness depends on the men you meet. I suggest you seek IC to deal with this issue. You will always be prone to be an OW and if you enter a relationship you may even be the one that cheats. Yes, you may cheat because no one can validate you 24/7. Your need for attention and validation will also interfere with your MAN picker and you will end up with players that treat you badly. What is IC? Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Bottom line is, he has a girlfriend whom he lives with. Don't let your ego 'wonder' if he is into you or not. It really doesn't matter since he has a girlfriend. They together have been generous to allow you to sleep on their couch - Sharing their home with you and he's a real shi.t to be hinting or even opening the door a crack for you to slip in (aka maybe have an affair with him) and you need to not let your emotions take over, don't over think this. Detach and make other arrangements, don't sleep over there anymore and stop 'getting to know' him more and more..All that's doing is getting you to like him more and you'll feel 'attached' to him. THAT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. And why I don't wanto be that person. Because they have let me in they're home and they're circle. It would be pure disrespect and low, nothing but. I will let go of the ego and completely erase those attraction factors from mind. ok this has been the most enlightening post by far yet, TY <3 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What is IC? Individual counseling. This thread is ridiculous. You come here asking a simple question about if people think this guy may like you are the swarm of usual cast of characters come in and suggest you need counseling. Typical. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanillaSpice71 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Wow multiple pages of belittling and condescending posts. Shocker. Forgive me if I'm wrong.. I got lost somewhere in the pages of repetitive drivel, but isn't he NOT married, but has a girlfriend who may or may not be casual or may or may not be serious? Why not just ask him, flat out, "Hey, I'm not looking to be the other woman, if you like me, let me know. I'll be willing to wait a couple weeks while you end things and then we can give it a shot and see if there's something here." I thought that was the purpose in dating? Am I getting old? Have I missed something? The minute you start dating does that mean you are forever bethrothed to a person and I missed the memo? Did her dad give this guy a couple goats and a bunch of cows? Exactly. This was my thinking at first- you have digged into the cortexes of my brainwaves. nothing is permanent. I mean why did he come into my life all of the sudden? Everything is a lesson and a reason. It doesnt always have to be negative. Link to post Share on other sites
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