e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." Also known as "there is no such thing as leagues" Approach the woman you like and see how it goes. If you've been outright rejected for your appearence enough times you'd understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 If you've been outright rejected for your appearence enough times you'd understand. It's politically incorrect to say that there are leagues Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Speaking strictly physically it is about how many options you have for dating and whether those options are someone you are interested in. Leagues need to incorporate both the subjective and objective elements of attraction. If you look at yourself and see how many options you have at any give moment and how long you stay single it will tell you plenty about your league. What if you seemingly have no options and have been single your entire life? Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 It's politically incorrect to say that there are leagues It may be but that doesn't make it so. Harsh outright rejections based on appearance mean something. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 What if you seemingly have no options and have been single your entire life? If you are in your teens, not a whole lot. If you are say 30 or more, you would be in a very low league. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 How would you even know what the girl is rejecting you for? There could be many reasons (and they may have absolutely nothing to do with you). You don't always know, but sometimes it's completely obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 You don't always know, but sometimes it's completely obvious. Let's not sugarcoat things. Rejecting you is almost always partly about you. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Let's not sugarcoat things. Rejecting you is almost always partly about you. Yes precisely. Surarcoating things isn't helpful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I'm not sugarcoating anything. I'm just making statements based on what I've observed from going out A LOT. Never said you were, but a lot of people do. Link to post Share on other sites
Queenie42 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 There aren't any clear cut rules or definitions about leagues. It's all so subjective and I'm not really good at sports metaphors so I look at it more like a scale or spectrum. --I am at zero on the scale. I know myself very well, I know my flaws and shortcomings as well as my better and more boastworthy skills and attributes. --On the minus side there could be people who are bad at managing money, have poor personal hygiene, be totally psychotic or just bad at kissing or whatever etc etc. Whatever positives they may have, their negatives put them at less than zero on the scale. They could be a good person on the whole, but you feel you deserve better in a partner. --On the plus side are those who are filthy rich, have a better body than me, a better job, a better sense of style, always having multiple and simultaneous orgasms etc etc. You could think your partner is a plus, and wonder why on Earth they're going out with you because you feel out of their league, while at the same time they're wondering what they did to deserve a plus like you. Just because you think someone is a plus doesn't mean you're not allowed to try and ask them out. You just meet someone, figure out if they could be a plus (good partner) and try help them to see that you could be a plus for them. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 It's always funny to see these league discussions. We can go into so many different spectrums and diagrams etc.... Bottom line is, it doesn't mean anything to me - girls I like, girls I'm not into, girls that like me, girls that don't - that's about as far as it goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I'm 5'6, ~140. I never go to the gym if I don't have to (I'm in the military so they make me sometimes). I've noticed that the only times in my life that I was unsuccessful with attractive women was when I had a negative attitude (and EVEN then, I was able to get girls....just lower quality). So, in conclusion, I think you need to step up your game and stop with the mental masturbation. I'm also 5'6 and the only times in my life that I was unsuccessful with attractive women was every single day of my entire life. I just got trapped in a downward spiral. I've never had a period in my life where I was ever successful with women. Every rejection makes me feel worse about myself. I wonder how my life would be now if one somebody liked me back when I was 13-20. Would I still have the anger and depression I have now? Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 What "leagues" are there? "Way above", "Above", "Mine", "Yours", "Below", and "Way Below". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Leagues don't exist and rating scales are useless. It would only be applicable if EVERYONE had EXACTLY the same tastes in people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Leagues don't exist and rating scales are useless. It would only be applicable if EVERYONE had EXACTLY the same tastes in people. Disagree. If you showed pictures of different women to 100 men and asked them if she is beautiful or not, number of "yes" answers would be different for each woman. Thus, a clear, objective ranking would emerge. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Many people here claim that they don't believe in leagues. Yet, when they meet someone they either feel attracted or not. Most often "attracted" means in the same league as them or above. It's basically the same concept. The man you were most attracted to (your boss)....was he more attractive than you? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 The man you were most attracted to (your boss)....was he more attractive than you? haha no. You got me there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 haha no. You got me there It's kind of awesome how powerful chemistry can be For the guys--the best way to find out is to go flirt with everyone and see who responds. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 It's kind of awesome how powerful chemistry can be For the guys--the best way to find out is to go flirt with everyone and see who responds. He pretty much had all the things that I considered deal breakers, yet I didn't care. He was older than men I would date, he was shorter than me, he had 3 kids - I prefer childless. If I saw his profile on OLD site, I would click right past it. Just shows how flawed OLD is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 No offense but it's not OLD. It's unrealistic standards people have when looking for a mate. I give plenty of guys chances. Kids. Divorced. Short. Most recently a fascist. (Doesn't mean the same thing in Italy). Because honestly it's the ones who aren't your "type" that surprise you. As for leagues it's bullcrap. Especially when judging photographs. I look different in every picture. And you can use angles to make yourself appear thinner. You can use a photo editor to make yourself look better. Makeup too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I don't understand how OLD every works, although I know it sometimes does. You need to interact with people to determine chemistry, and it happens organically in social situations. Online, it is like looking for a needle in a haystack, using only your eyes. You've got to be able to feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I don't understand how OLD every works, although I know it sometimes does. You need to interact with people to determine chemistry, and it happens organically in social situations. Online, it is like looking for a needle in a haystack, using only your eyes. You've got to be able to feel it. Well a lot of people use it for casual sex now. And it's unfortunate for those trying to find actual relationships. I found my "friend" on Okcupid. He is a very sweet guy. Sexy to me. But his old pictures made him look way different. I much prefer how he looks now. Beard, longer hair, glasses. An adorable intellectual hippie. He had never had success on OLD and neither have I. What we have going on together is the best thing thats come out of it for both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 But I'm not talking about based on pictures, I'm talking about in real life. Are you going to try to ask out girls or are you going to wack off over a bunch of charts and diagrams? Seriously, unless you start hitting on girls you are never really going to know your league. Fear of rejection sucks man but you either deal with it or get used to being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I think "league" is determined by a lot of different things. Looks, income, status, personality, athletic ability, fitness, etc. Whatever positive qualities you have determines your league. Those with more positives qualities will be in a higher league than those with few. And those with an extreme quality, such as Bill Gates, would be in a higher league because of his accomplishment. It doesn't just measure beauty/handsomeness. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Asking other people what "league" you're in is absurd. Let me put this as plainly as possible: HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF IS ALL THAT MATTERS. When people stop getting their validation from others, they will be much happier and have a lot more success. My self-esteem was once driven by other people's opinions, which meant it went up if people seemed to like me (and you have to factor in that your perceptions may be way off base), and down if they seemed to dislike me, or if I was having a bad day, or if I was PMSing. It's all such bull****. You teach people how to treat you. You want the best? You have to know you are the best. If there are things about yourself that you don't like, then go ahead and fix them. Doing it to win someone else's approval is not going to bring you true happiness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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