Lonely Ronin Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Which is the cause and which is the effect? People who succeed focus on fixing the the issue, not what caused it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Which is the cause and which is the effect? Who cares? One you have control over (how you feel), and one you don't (how others feel about you). Stick with the one you can control. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Obviously you need to be the best person you should be, but sometimes that just isn't good enough for a lot of girls. You can't just pull confidence out of a hat. I don't have anything to go on. I've never been approached by a girl (like some of my friends have), I've never been flirted with (like some of my friends have), and I'm just behind the curve for my age when it comes to these things. I was picked on in high school, alright. I went to an all-guys school where I wasn't really respected by my peers and I was always typecast as the skinny nerd guy. A lot of guys who I thought were my friends busted my balls often and for no reason. Some things were playful but a lot of others stung deep down inside. I didn't get the chance to interact with girls in high school but a lot of my other friends did because they were invited to parties and stuff like that when I wasn't. They had girlfriends, they had sex, they did the stuff teenagers did. I'm in college now. My first interactions with girls my freshman year were very difficult. A lot of other guys had already established a strong base with girls and thus were not scared or intimidated of them. It doesn't help when your college has some of the top rated girls in the nation and you're a nerd with no muscle mass and no working knowledge of how girls operate. That was me freshman year. I came in thinking some girl would hook up with me just because it was college but then I realized halfway throughout the year that I wouldn't be getting laid. I wasn't the type of guy that these girls were looking to hook up with. Not to mention, I botched it completely with some girl I was interested in freshman year and that ruined me for a couple of months, well into sophomore year. ... To girls, I am just seen as a "good guy" or a dependable friend. I'm not the kind of guy they get hot over. .... I think you have a pretty good idea of your league. I'm not sure what you were looking for with this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Bah. Leagues don't exist and it's foolish to even try and consider them. There's people you like...and people that like you...and hopefully, the two match up from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I think these phenomena described can be addressed to vague patterns perhaps but the whole league concept is way too abstract to describe something with so much variables. We can just describe the hydrogen atom exactly - let alone all the ins and outs of the dating game. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I was thinking that I could be missing something and maybe I'm not as low as I thought. You have a good handle on the situation IMO. You're young, you have room for improvement and you have a plan to improve. So you have all that going for you. My advice is to be as social as possible, make plenty of friends and get involved at your college. It will happen for you if do this. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I stay true to myself. If I like what I see and I like what I hear, he's in my league. If I don't, he's obviously not ! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Well, I have a couple of months + the next year for something to happen. If I don't get laid in college, I will have branded myself a failure in the dating realm. Then again, it's not too bad because I realize that the girls at my school are extremely attractive and only want certain guys. I know I will regret not having sex in college. your already a failure, because your primary goal is to get laid. Stop worrying about getting laid, and just focus on meeting a girl that you like. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Geiss Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I determine my league by the girls I have met and hooked up with in the past. So far it looks like I can get 7's. My friends have rated some of the girls I've gone out with and the highest I got was a 7 even though I rated her higher. But I have also flirted with girls that were 8's and got positive responses so maybe I can get an 8. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Focusing on getting laid does not make me a failure. I know guys who focus on only that and they still win. well perhaps they are better at hiding it, perhaps they have attributes you don't, perhaps they are lying to you, or maybe you read more into things that is actually there. Either way what your doing now isn't working for you. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Focusing on getting laid does not make me a failure. I know guys who focus on only that and they still win. And how well is that attitude working for you? People who get laid all the time don't post on forums asking how to get laid or what league they're in. They don't give a ****...they go out and make it happen. No offense to you, but since you're here and you and not there and them, it's safe to say that you don't have what it takes to "get laid". It's just life. Not everyone is gonna play pro or even college ball no matter how hard they try if they don't have some god given abilities. And the vast majority, if not all, of the men and women out there "getting laid" aren't "focusing" on it. They're focusing on getting out, are natural extroverts, like meeting new people and the getting laid part just happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 And the vast majority, if not all, of the men and women out there "getting laid" aren't "focusing" on it. They're focusing on getting out, are natural extroverts, like meeting new people and the getting laid part just happens. ^^ this Pretty much every time sex happened with a new woman, it just happened. I've never asked a girl out, thinking I hope she sleeps with me. It's more along the lines is she going to like me, and am I going to like her. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Meh, I don't agree. Even as a woman, I don't get laid if I don't try/care at all to get laid. I'd imagine as a man you'd have to try a tiny bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 And how well is that attitude working for you? God I hate that smart-assed comment. As if doing the opposite would have any effect. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) My good looking friend goes out with expectations to get laid and most of the time he does:laugh: If a women wants to have sex with you it wont be a problem but if shes not attracted to you then well she wont..its not that she had a "sense" you wanted to get laid and got turned off its she didnt want to "lay" the guy who approached her because she wasnt attracted Edited February 14, 2013 by AD1980 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 My good looking friend goes out with expectations to get laid and most of the time he does:laugh: If a women wants to have sex with you it wont be a problem but if shes not attracted to you then well she wont..its not that she had a "sense" you wanted to get laid and got turned off its she didnt want to "lay" the guy who approached her because she wasnt attracted A guy of that substance is not my type Men that brag about their sexual escapades and are really cocky and shallow turn me off Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 A guy of that substance is not my type Men that brag about their sexual escapades and are really cocky and shallow turn me off The point is people try to psycho analyze struggling men and say how its because of body language attitude lack of confidence whatever but in reality its probably as simple as the women they are approaching are not physically attracted to them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptObvious Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 sir I'm gonna need to see a picture. Still, 6"1 and 100lbs underweight.. You're a long way from the majors kid. A 5-6 AA 6-7 AAA 7-8 MLB 8+ Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 What "leagues" are there? (Before I realized you were a guy, I read "somewhat toned, 6'1" and 160 lbs" -- I thought you were going to say you were in the WNBA). Seriously though, you seem to think there's a chart with your height on one axis and your weight on the other determining how attractive you are. How attractive you are is completely subjective and not entirely physical. Everyone looks for different things in another person. Looks, career, charisma, personality, values, are pretty common themes but there's no one answer in stone. I guess you could say the more universally desirable traits you have, the better your "league." OP listen to this man...for he is wise. Be thankful the things he listed you can continually work on. Career, charisma and values are things you have control over....(except maybe values thats iffy). I try to work on those things myself but unfortunately for women, we are highly valued for our looks most of the time and theres only so much one can do for that. Also, past a certain age, no amount of effort will make us valuable again when we arent young anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 But still, women go for them anyway... Where is the disconnect? Certain types of women. But you seem like the shallow type to be into that so go on your merry way Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Threads like this reinforce why Im so much happier not giving "dating" a place in my life... Piggies are a waste of time Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I was just wondering. What physical traits? What characteristics? I'm about 6"1', 160 pounds. Somewhat toned, but I'm going to the gym more often. I've never had a girlfriend or significant other. I'd rather not post my picture. Based on this info, what league do you think I'd be in? There are not enough information for a woman to figure out your league. Let us know your age. Are you in high school, college or an adult? If you are in high school, you need only high confidence (natural social skills) + good looks + good general health. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You know there's plenty of guys out there like me who are just dying to have a girlfriend right? "Dying to have a girlfriend" doesn't mean you aren't still a horrible person. I'm not talking about you personally. Hitler had a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 That guy spams tons of forums. I was just banned off of a forum, where he used a different name and multiple aliases. He's weird (and weird looking). Yeah I know, even though I said I wasn't talking about him personally, what I really meant was that he still falls under the umbrella. He also posted fake pictures of himself here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I'm shallow? That's news. No, I've seen all types of women go for the guys who score with lots of women. The general trend I see is that women want guys that other women want. do you have your head up your back side? You have most likely seen 5% of the women on your campus, so you don't have a big enough data set to say all women even in your age group do this or that. All you have seen is what a very specific type of women would go for. Link to post Share on other sites
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