JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 People say if you're struggling with the opposite sex you should go for people in your physical attraction level/league as if its an easy or exact science. How are you supposed to know whos in your physical attractionl eague? People dont have signs on theirf foreheads that say im a 7. It's pretty easy. Women who have said you are cute (in that way)/hot/attractive. If no one has said it, then nobody finds you attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 It's pretty easy. Women who have said you are cute (in that way)/hot/attractive. If no one has said it, then nobody finds you attractive. That's not necessarily the case. Women don't hand out compliments to men like men do with women. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 That's not necessarily the case. Women don't hand out compliments to men like men do with women. True. But if nobody has said it, then you probably aren't too physically attractive to most people. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 True. But if nobody has said it, then you probably aren't too physically attractive to most people. That I'll agree with. I'm a part-time model and I can count on 2 hands the number of times I've been called good looking. People don't give men those types of compliments like they do to women. That's why I'm against given women those types of compliments, because it eventually goes to their heads. I can't count how many times I've been bartending and guys will be giving random compliments. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 That's why I'm against given women those types of compliments, because it eventually goes to their heads. As a woman you are taught not to give men compliments because it goes to their head. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 As a woman you are taught not to give men compliments because it goes to their head. Doesn't work that way. Men don't get off on compliments like women do. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Doesn't work that way. Men don't get off on compliments like women do. Oh I think they do. A lot of men will tell you that being too complimentary will get a guy's ego out of control. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Oh I think they do. A lot of men will tell you that being too complimentary will get a guy's ego out of control. Men and women say a lot of things. I bartend in arguably the most shallow and superficial part of the world. From what I've seen, men take compliments better than women. Both can get big headed, but I've found it's much more common in women. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 As a woman you are taught not to give men compliments because it goes to their head. And just where does this "learning" occur? In grade school? High school? College? Yes, I'm being sarcastic...but I just wonder where people are "taught" to act a certain way. I, for one, never grew up with ANY of these so-called "gender differences". I always treated men AND women as....people. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Men and women say a lot of things. I bartend in arguably the most shallow and superficial part of the world. From what I've seen, men take compliments better than women. Both can get big headed, but I've found it's much more common in women. Of course since you don't care how men feel about compliments. You notice it more in the behaviour of the opposite sex because you pay attention more. That doesn't mean it isn't true just that it doesn't affect your life. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 As far as letting it get to your head...it's not a man or woman thing. It's a PERSON thing. I've seen men AND women get huge oversized egos just because they get passed a compliment or two. And I know people who have been complimented their entire lives and they remain humble. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 As far as letting it get to your head...it's not a man or woman thing. It's a PERSON thing. I've seen men AND women get huge oversized egos just because they get passed a compliment or two. And I know people who have been complimented their entire lives and they remain humble. Yes I certainly agree. I think it's related to upbringing Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 And just where does this "learning" occur? In grade school? High school? College? Yes, I'm being sarcastic...but I just wonder where people are "taught" to act a certain way. I, for one, never grew up with ANY of these so-called "gender differences". I always treated men AND women as....people. I find that hard to believe as both men and women are socialised in a way that involves expectations from the opposite sex: 'boys do that', 'girls do that'. Your mates, your opposite sex friends, people you go to for advice, etc. Maybe as you got older you realised that people are just people but I find it disingenious to say that you never encountered gender prejudice as you grew up. Everyone does. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 I find that hard to believe as both men and women are socialised in a way that involves expectations from the opposite sex: 'boys do that', 'girls do that'. Your mates, your opposite sex friends, people you go to for advice, etc. Maybe as you got older you realised that people are just people but I find it disingenious to say that you never encountered gender prejudice as you grew up. Everyone does. Perhaps, as you mentioned in your last post...it's due to upbringing. I grew up without a father and a mother who was abusive and pretty much just not around when since I turned about 14/15. Thus, I had nothing to go on and just had to figure it out all on my own. Sure, I had friends who thought and acted a certain way, but I've always been a "let me find out for myself" kind of person so I didn't buy into any "theories". I guess it might be the reason why I consider myself very non judgmental...I never grew up with any biases to begin with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Of course since you don't care how men feel about compliments. You notice it more in the behaviour of the opposite sex because you pay attention more. That doesn't mean it isn't true just that it doesn't affect your life. I serve drinks to both genders. I observe how both of them act. You're entitłed to your opinion, but I'm going by my observations. Alwaus observe drunken behavior. That's when true colors show. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Sure, I had friends who thought and acted a certain way, but I've always been a "let me find out for myself" kind of person so I didn't buy into any "theories". I guess it might be the reason why I consider myself very non judgmental...I never grew up with any biases to begin with. But it is your peers you learn from and most of them will not be wise - if ever - until they get through their early 20s at least. Hence the gender-biased nonsense that gets posted here by guys in their 20s. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 I serve drinks to both genders. I observe how both of them act. You're entitłed to your opinion, but I'm going by my observations. Alwaus observe drunken behavior. That's when true colors show. You serve drinks, I drink with them. I don't see how that's different. Your observations are biased. My point is that both men and women are in the same boat when it comes to beliefs about the opposite sex therefore it is in your own interest to be less rigid about how you perceive women because they get BS advice the same way as men do. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 You serve drinks, I drink with them. I don't see how that's different. Your observations are biased. My point is that both men and women are in the same boat when it comes to beliefs about the opposite sex therefore it is in your own interest to be less rigid about how you perceive women because they get BS advice the same way as men do. You're under the influence, I'm not. All observations are biased. Unless you're also a bartender or a raging alcoholic, I'm in that environment much more often. A person's drunken words or actions are almost always what they're thinking while sober. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 But it is your peers you learn from and most of them will not be wise - if ever - until they get through their early 20s at least. Hence the gender-biased nonsense that gets posted here by guys in their 20s. I've always held the notion that the vast majority of people are complete idiots. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 I've always held the notion that the vast majority of people are complete idiots. Definitely true where I am. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 You're under the influence, I'm not. All observations are biased. Unless you're also a bartender or a raging alcoholic, I'm in that environment much more often. A person's drunken words or actions are almost always what they're thinking while sober. Not true. They say alcohol is a "truth serum" but it's not. It's an uninhibitor. The difference is that all of us have innate wants and desires. You might see your best friend with a hot gf and your "desire" is to have sex with her, but your sense of morals and loyalty to your friend keeps your from actually acting on your desires.. Alcohol will "blur" the moral and loyalty part and exasperate the "desire" portion...thus why so many "mistakes" are made when drunk. When you are drunk, you are more liable to say and do things that you normally would NOT due because of that sense of morality, reason, good judgement, etc. You might counter argue with "well...that's what he/she WANTED to do, so what's the difference" and I would counter with, "the difference is between humans and animals". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Merged into consolidated Leagues discussion thread. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Not true. They say alcohol is a "truth serum" but it's not. It's an uninhibitor. The difference is that all of us have innate wants and desires. You might see your best friend with a hot gf and your "desire" is to have sex with her, but your sense of morals and loyalty to your friend keeps your from actually acting on your desires.. Alcohol will "blur" the moral and loyalty part and exasperate the "desire" portion...thus why so many "mistakes" are made when drunk. When you are drunk, you are more liable to say and do things that you normally would NOT due because of that sense of morality, reason, good judgement, etc. You might counter argue with "well...that's what he/she WANTED to do, so what's the difference" and I would counter with, "the difference is between humans and animals". I wouldn't go as far as calling alcohol a truth serum but I don't I don't buy the blurring your judgement. I don't change when I drink. I become more of who I am, more funny, chatty etc. When I get drunk I don't all of a sudden lose my moral compass and will never use being drunk as an excuse. A few weeks ago I was out with some friends and was starting to like my frineds gf (it was the 2nd time I met her) and wanted to flirt with her. If I was sober there's no way I would do it and being drunk I admid there's more of a temptation but I literally told myself "Come on man you have morals". Yes it does lower your inhibitions but your true self will overpower them, for better or worse. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Not true. They say alcohol is a "truth serum" but it's not. It's an uninhibitor. The difference is that all of us have innate wants and desires. You might see your best friend with a hot gf and your "desire" is to have sex with her, but your sense of morals and loyalty to your friend keeps your from actually acting on your desires.. Alcohol will "blur" the moral and loyalty part and exasperate the "desire" portion...thus why so many "mistakes" are made when drunk. When you are drunk, you are more liable to say and do things that you normally would NOT due because of that sense of morality, reason, good judgement, etc. I agree i think it just makes you put your guard down and takes away your inhibitions and you do things you desire on a primal level but maybe not moral level Ive had a few friends wives get extremely flirtatious with me and either grope or cuddle with me when they were really drunk,i dont think they would ever cheat on their husbands with me but i know deep down they physically desire me they just not its against thier beter judgement to act on it I dont buy that it was simply all the alchol that made them WANT to flrt with me i think thye praobly always desired me physically but alcohol gave them a feelign to act on it as much as they could without completely cheating Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 like it or not theres leagues. a rich ceo or pro athlete or a model are in the top league. the socially awkward nerd or the obese are in the bottom league. cough.......the socially awkward nerd...is the probable genius behind some new fandangled piece of soft ware.......mega rich......mega reclusive.....doesnt need to define his happiness with social status or social standing..... and judging a person on weight alone..........now i know why i didnt click on this thread before.,.so negative.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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