stevie_23 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Does it matter that his relationships have all been fairly long? His first marriage was a few years. No cheating. His second marriage was about 10 years I think. Cheating for the last 2 years or something. His third marriage was about 10+ years. No cheating. His fourth marriage was maybe 3-4 years. Cheating with his current wife for the last few months (the cheating didn't go on very long because they were able to be together properly as they lived close and there were no other obstacles between them). Current wife has been 4 years now. Married for 6 months. Cheating with me for almost 2 years. Apparently would have left her after about the first 6 months if we hadn't had so many obstacles in our way, preventing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 Im no prize lol but shes not perfect ether and were good for each other.i know i should of told w myself but its hard i did kinda want them both till gf stoped me. To thread op, yea xw knew Id had A but thought Id stopped by then till she seen what gf sent. I guess were not firends but we get along ok now it was couple years ago. Not that it's any of my business but what did your gf send? I would hope it wasn't anything too hurtful, or was if just a letter telling the wife that you were still involved with her? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Not that it's any of my business but what did your gf send? I would hope it wasn't anything too hurtful, or was if just a letter telling the wife that you were still involved with her? Was more hurtful than a third party in your marriage without your knowledge or consent? Too hurtful...interesting phrase. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 Was more hurtful than a third party in your marriage without your knowledge or consent? Too hurtful...interesting phrase. I'm sorry your spouse betrayed you, and I'm not proud of the damage my mm and I have caused. It is what it is and I can't stop just because society says its wrong. I'm not the first woman to fall for a mm and I certainly won't be the last. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm sorry your spouse betrayed you, and I'm not proud of the damage my mm and I have caused. It is what it is and I can't stop just because society says its wrong. I'm not the first woman to fall for a mm and I certainly won't be the last. I certainly agree with the bolded statement. Don't be sorry Mr. Messy betrayed me. You aren't him so there is no reason to be sorry. The damage you speak of has little to do with society and everything to do with wasting others lives for the sake of the easier path. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 I certainly agree with the bolded statement. Don't be sorry Mr. Messy betrayed me. You aren't him so there is no reason to be sorry. The damage you speak of has little to do with society and everything to do with wasting others lives for the sake of the easier path. I'm not wasting anyone's life, I'm certainly not wasting mine. Just for the record this is not an easier path, this is the hardest path I've ever travelled. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm not wasting anyone's life, I'm certainly not wasting mine. Just for the record this is not an easier path, this is the hardest path I've ever travelled. Now imagine 4, 5, 15 years down the road..this path you have traveled was not the life you thought you had. The information that you were given was not all of the information. The information that was left out would have changed some of the decisions you have made. Yet life and some of the opportunities have passed you by because you thought you were making life/future decisions with all the information. I am not niave enough to think you or anyone else who hasn't had years wasted by someone else's decisions about your life...will get this. But for you to believe your choices aren't impacting someone else's decisions is a refusal acknowledge that the path is easier if everyone is not on the same page or no one wishes to step up. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 Thank you all for your valueable imput. It has helped me greatly. Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Not that it's any of my business but what did your gf send? I would hope it wasn't anything too hurtful, or was if just a letter telling the wife that you were still involved with her? She emailed pics of us, some texts I wrote her, couple of dates an times. XW Woldn't of believed just a letter and she knew it thats why she sent pics and stuff.U gotta do it like that i know I wouldnt of chanaged if she hadnt of made me. I know i'm a dck but it was working for me then Im sorry for my gf but Im sure happyer now tho and so is she its the way to go my gf was smart! Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 She emailed pics of us, some texts I wrote her, couple of dates an times. XW Woldn't of believed just a letter and she knew it thats why she sent pics and stuff.U gotta do it like that i know I wouldnt of chanaged if she hadnt of made me. I know i'm a dck but it was working for me then Im sorry for my gf but Im sure happyer now tho and so is she its the way to go my gf was smart! You said in a much earlier post that your exw already knew about your affair so why wouldn't she of believed your gf? What kind of bull***** did you tell your exwife to convince her that you ended your affair? Sorry I just can't believe you bs could be that niave, or are you just a master manipulator? I guess for you alls well that ends well. I don't think most stories would have a happy ending like yours. Glad it worked out for all 3 of you. Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 No im not master by xw just beleved I told her A was over.she didn't know cos I t old her I was playing ball or work late when I saw gf after d day. and sometimes I really did play ball so she did/nt know the times i didn't. It was a bad time life is much better now wish id been a better man then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 No im not master by xw just beleved I told her A was over.she didn't know cos I t old her I was playing ball or work late when I saw gf after d day. and sometimes I really did play ball so she did/nt know the times i didn't. It was a bad time life is much better now wish id been a better man then. Good for you that it worked out so well. Don't think the majority would have the same outcome. You said your exw kicked your a$$ to the curb, not all bs's are as strong as your exw was. Some can't survive without their spouses financial support, or they stay for the kids. Also some men aren't willing to end the marraige because the bs threatens to "take them to the cleaners" so they stay not because they love their spouse more but because they don't want to lose all their money and belongings. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Good for you that it worked out so well. Don't think the majority would have the same outcome. You said your exw kicked your a$$ to the curb, not all bs's are as strong as your exw was. Some can't survive without their spouses financial support, or they stay for the kids. Also some men aren't willing to end the marraige because the bs threatens to "take them to the cleaners" so they stay not because they love their spouse more but because they don't want to lose all their money and belongings. I beg to differ. I believe it takes a strong BS to leave...I also think it takes a strong BS to stay. Strength isn't measured by outsiders looking in. It is measured by the trials that one goes through and survives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Hmmm. What made you "wake up" and decide to be a "better man" now? My girlfirend did that 4 me thanks to her she saw I was probly never gonna change til she helped me.she outed us to xw and tho I was mad then like crazy i see now it was best thing coulda happened. OP how did it go when you told the wife?? Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 i knew I loved gf but till she told my wife i guess I was the cake eater, her sending that to xw stopped me w thru me out and thats how i got to see life is better with gf and divorced now.Wouldnt have got there without gifrend. Hope it is same for you Op. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 OP how did it go when you told the wife?? Sorry, was that question directed at me or someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Yea princess how'd it go? your man understand? Hope your getting there ok Link to post Share on other sites
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