Author Manbrodude26 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 desperation is unattractive to a woman I know.. I couldn't help my self.. I tried to go all day yesterday with no contact to her.. I had to text her good night anyway.. couldn't help it.. I text her good morning today, told her about what I had to do this morning, then asked if I could stop by her place after she got home.. She took four hours to respond then said yes.. She was wrong .. , very wrong to text what she did to this guy, at the same time I'm very wrong to have these strong trust issues while trying to maintain a relationship.. There will have to be some compromise, I would like her to just admit it was wrong, not to take my side..I will admit what I did was wrong as I already have.. I don't want to get deep into it today with her, I would be happy spending the weekend with her cuddling hopefully gentle conversations .. On Saturday we've been together for a year.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 She is 36 and I'm 25 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 I'm still very much in the middle about her last messages to the guy, I don't think it is wrong for her to still feel attraction to him or, to be attracted to other men.. This is natural as long as she doesn't lead them on or try to hook up with them.. She did say she would like to see him, but, doesn't want to hurt me.. It's not the best way to say it, but she said no.. I will never be able to decide on that one unless I see more evidence of something. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 You're whiny and clingy, you try to act hard but are really baby soft underneath all the game playing you try to do. You're 25 not 11, start acting your age. She's just a woman, nothing more nothing less, you would cry and fall to the floor sobbing like a spoiled child to try and get her back? Do you think she looks at you weeping and crying and goes, "wow he's looking so sexy right now, I want to have him!?" Do you think you bombarding her with phone calls and texts will change her mind? Why because she's so desperate to be with you? A lesson, she's a woman, she could go out to any bar and pick up a man just like that. You have to show her you are worth it. Stop texting, calling, being so frigging desperate..repeat that word desperate..desperate is not cool, desperate is not sexy, desperate is not manly/macho, crying certainly isn't. Next time you want to text, remember DESPERATE! When she answers and you want to text back remember DESPERATE When you whine and cry remember, NOT SEXY Be a man, grow a pair and quit crying, be a man worth fighting for. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I've been in your shoes with only slightly variations of the route taken. Here is some advice I wish someone had given me. Stop being a little bitch and going over and crying and holding her. Holding her?! Seriously? The more crap you do like that, the less dignity you exit this sham of a relationship with. Like so many of us, you fell for a slut. You won't change who she is. No amount of holding her and gently sobbing is going to undo anything. A person's true nature is best seen when they think no one is looking. You've seen her's. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Maybe its becaus i am older but i have my exes as guy friends, i dont sleep with them and one fo my exes is sleeping on my couch as i type this.I know with all certainty if i were to start a relationship this situation would need to be rectified not because i am not trustworthy, i am,I dotn sleep with my exes now why would i in a relationship but it would be awkward for the guy i was in a relationship with.....he would have priority, and i would not text guys with texts that were not straight to the point..... with your gf you need to have priority in her thoughts and actions, it might be an awkward conversation for you to have, but i feel you need to have it.....you are insecure, and it is going to cause problems either unconsciously or consciously in arguments or discussions you have in the future, you need to express your thoughts and work it out, she should automatically want you to feel secure and not continue texting or givng half hearted responses that honestly were a bit flirty....best wishes....deb Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 She is 36 and I'm 25 Do you have mom issues? Why is she 36 and single? Why do you want a GF that is flirting with other men? Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 I am sorry, but this post of yours gives me the creeps. You stared at her until she started crying? WTF? Sounds like you were trying to intimidate her. If you don't trust her, break up with her. Frankly, you sound obssessive. I don't think you two are good for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 ok.. fast foward a bit here, She broke up with me and left all my belongings on her porch last Friday.. I hurt really bad, she left right before I got there.. I kept texting her and asking to talk, she said she would eventually, now is not a good time though.. I kept asking to talk, saying I would set things aside.. I drove uptown and saw her truck at a restaurant so I decided to stop and begged her to give me a few minutes.. She cried when I put my hand out, she asked if I followed her, she wouldn't talk or touch me.. I rubbed her shoulder some, she cried more.. I left the restaurant and said I was sorry for stopping there.. I kept texting her on my way home, I text her 10 or 15 more times!! I text her one last time and said " I was sorry, for coming up there and asking her to talk in front of her kids, making things worse, I said love will make you do some weird things and I have never felt this hurt before sorry, nite".. While I was doing this I knew it was very wrong, I just had this false hope she would take me back, deep down I knew it was over.. And I was only making it worse.. She probably thought I was crazy, her kids looked at me like I was a serial killer.. I didn't contact her for three days, then she contacts me wanting to get her things and give me back mine.. We exchanged a couple other texts but nothing serious.. At first I asked her where she wanted to meet, she said I could come to her place to exchange things.. took a couple days to set it up, Yesterday (one week after the break up) she drove over here and dropped off my things.. When she hopped out of her truck she wasn't really looking at me and her body language said she didn't want a hug, She was acting really tuff, I thought I caught a whimper.. I kept strong and a positive attitude through out the brief transaction. I gave her a hug and she latched on lightly.. Then when she was about to hop back in her truck she came back around and said "that's not going to fall is it?".. I decided to respect her wishes and leave her alone, she seemed to want to get things done and over with.. Then this morning after the exchange she texts : " I cannot stop hurting and you look like you have already moved on". I texted back : " I'm going with what you want, I'm trying to respect your decision/wishes".. I'm a little confused.. (ok left out a few details, but that is long enough, I now the way I reacted to the break up was very bad and wrong, but I was going off emotions instead of logic and wasn't prepared for what happened at all) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 how do you think she interpeted my text back to her this morning? I'm not sure if it came across the right way. Link to post Share on other sites
LoLo84 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I think it's disrespectful to keep texting the FWB dude while she is with you now. The only reason he is still texting her is because she hasn't given him a reason not to. Meaning, Yea... she's saying it's tempting but she's not saying "No Leave Me Alone" either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 The fact that after a year of dating you she tells her friend with benefits guy friend that she would love to see him and check out his hot tub again but can't only because she does not want to hurt you is pretty sad. It seems pretty obvious that you are into her a lot more than she is into you. I am sorry my friend I think it will be a matter of time before she will again have some playtime with this guy. I would be really insulted if I was you. Good luck. Yep. She still wants him, she doesn't know how to / doesn't want to cut ties, he wants her and is very willing to "get some" by having her cheat on you. He'll talk her into it eventually. It's probably going to happen. If it were me I would end things immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I don't think anyone should keep past flings on their phone either! I don't care how many times she banged this guy, not as many times as I have.. I'm worried of the possibility she has or will have sex with him while we are together. All of the guys I dated were friends with some of their past flings...if I created this criteria of cutting off any man who keeps in contact with exes, girls he has banged, or flings I would be single forever... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 All of the guys I dated were friends with some of their past flings...if I created this criteria of cutting off any man who keeps in contact with exes, girls he has banged, or flings I would be single forever... Oh yeah, really? Even when you found texts of him saying: BF: I miss your hot tub. Girl: You're welcome to it anytime BF: you're too much of a temptation Girl: No.. you are BF: no you are Girl: it's all you Girl: are you still seeing the same girl? BF: yes Girl: I want to see you BF: I want to see you too, but I don't want to hurt my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm sure you would be totally fine with that. Link to post Share on other sites
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