fancy feast Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 And I don't know why, but for the past several months I've absolutely loved being single. I go out sometimes, but staying in, drinking and playing Xbox has been one of my favorite things to do lately (thank you Based Halo4). I've reconnected with my 11 year old self. He would be so proud of me, and then kick my ass at video games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 And I don't know why, but for the past several months I've absolutely loved being single. I go out sometimes, but staying in, drinking and playing Xbox has been one of my favorite things to do lately (thank you Based Halo4). I've reconnected with my 11 year old self. He would be so proud of me, and then kick my ass at video games. Good for you. I've actually had a relatively good time recently. Especially over the holidays. Catching up with old friends. Going out and partying ..flirting..doing shots. Hitting gym. I guess I'm just not quite there yet when I'm not distracted. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I'm not sure id end up in a worse place or not. Everyone says it is day 1 if you contact them. I think id need to sleep with her for this to happen. But ill play it safe and stay NC. As someone who has broken NC many times, it doesn't put you back at day 1 by any means. It hurts, but only for a bit, and the longer since the BU it gets the less it hurts. Last time it put me back for about 2-3 days then after that I was back to normal. I have considered emailing my ex for about a month now. Funny thing is I never get around to writing it (even though I have all the time in the world to do it) I just couldn't be bothered and everyday I don't I care less and less about even doing so. No idea if I ever will. But the thing is, my feelings are so little for her now I know I have very little to loose if I do. But I will say, if you contact them hoping to get back together you are VERY likely in for a world of hurt because there is such a VERY small chance that will happen. You have to have no expectations at all, and be doing it for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Yeah. I'm pretty much giving up on the idea of sending her something. I'm sure it would set me back. Maybe not to day 1 but a setback nonetheless. Just isn't anything to be gained. Just want to get to where you are. Blissful indifference. I'm sure life isn't perfect and you have the normal challenges we all do... but you seem to not be bothered by her and that is a HUGE step in the right direction... and to eventually find someone to be with. For me it will most likely take longer because of the length of my relationship...just got to enjoy the roller coater ride! Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Yeah. I'm pretty much giving up on the idea of sending her something. I'm sure it would set me back. Maybe not to day 1 but a setback nonetheless. Just isn't anything to be gained. Just want to get to where you are. Blissful indifference. I'm sure life isn't perfect and you have the normal challenges we all do... but you seem to not be bothered by her and that is a HUGE step in the right direction... and to eventually find someone to be with. For me it will most likely take longer because of the length of my relationship...just got to enjoy the roller coater ride! Ya i've still got a bit to go, but overall i'm pretty happy with how far i'm come even in the past few months. Seeing her still on nearly a daily basis doesn't rock me anymore like it use to. She's still on my mind a bit, but less all the time and overall I really don't care. There will always be a history with her obviously, but I just see her as another neighbor for the most part and don't think much of it. I'm sure you'll be there soon, the last bit seems to sneak up on you. Even at christmas I was a bit down yet the last few weeks have been a huge change. I'm just glad the collarcoaster of emotions are over, day to day I feel pretty much exactly the same about it. Link to post Share on other sites
th90 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Hey Cav, Remember what you've always told everyone? "Stick to NC like your freaking life depends on it!!" Now go and bang some girls like you always do. Forget about your ex. She's with someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Hey Cav, Remember what you've always told everyone? "Stick to NC like your freaking life depends on it!!" Now go and bang some girls like you always do. Forget about your ex. She's with someone else. Ha Thanks! You are a genius ...i haven't been getting laid...that is what is going on. Holy Sh*t ...maybe I'm a sex addict lol! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 Its been 4 month today since she told me over the phone while I was traveling that she talked to the new guy that "likes her " and she was pretty sure about ending things with me after almost 8 years. We held on for like 10 days after that when i came back until the final goodbye. I don't know but I'm just feeling a profound sense of loss today. Almost like mourning a death of someone. Haven't felt this low in a while in fact I've been holding my head up high and really trying to be positive. I don't want to reach out to her. I'm just having a really rough day and didn't expect it. Seem to be on verge of crying for the 1st time in a long time. WTF...I thought i was getting better. God I'm so f*ckin tired of this damn recovery process. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 You need to keep pushing on. You need to continue with your self improvements. Everytime she enters into your head, push her out with thoughts of something else. About things you need to do, things you want to get done for yourself. Things that are involved with your self improvements. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 You need to keep pushing on. You need to continue with your self improvements. Everytime she enters into your head, push her out with thoughts of something else. About things you need to do, things you want to get done for yourself. Things that are involved with your self improvements. Thanks Chi townD. Ive been doing that and have been NC the whole way. Text book. I push thoughts away the whole nine yards. Like i said just profound sense of loss. Guess it will pass and ill push on like always. I'm not even thinking about her now per se but am having trouble snapping myself out of it today..weird. i guess this is just more grieving. Link to post Share on other sites
puzzled1 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Its been 4 month today since she told me over the phone while I was traveling that she talked to the new guy that "likes her " and she was pretty sure about ending things with me after almost 8 years. We held on for like 10 days after that when i came back until the final goodbye. I don't know but I'm just feeling a profound sense of loss today. Almost like mourning a death of someone. Haven't felt this low in a while in fact I've been holding my head up high and really trying to be positive. I don't want to reach out to her. I'm just having a really rough day and didn't expect it. Seem to be on verge of crying for the 1st time in a long time. WTF...I thought i was getting better. God I'm so f*ckin tired of this damn recovery process. Cav I know how sh*tty that feels bro. What helps me is that Ill look at a picture of her, go cry it out, and then its bye bye! I then push out all the thoughts of her out. I go to the gym and release all the built up emotions as well as checking out some girls. Keep your head up bro! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 I know how sh*tty that feels bro. What helps me is that Ill look at a picture of her, go cry it out, and then its bye bye! I then push out all the thoughts of her out. I go to the gym and release all the built up emotions as well as checking out some girls. Keep your head up bro! Ha. I like your method. I think ill try it minus the photo..although that would guarantee tears. Link to post Share on other sites
puzzled1 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Ha. I like your method. I think ill try it minus the photo..although that would guarantee tears. Or you can go masturbate! Hahah that seems to help too lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 Or you can go masturbate! Hahah that seems to help too lol Trying to save up for this weekend. ...Wait..is it only Wednesday....ohh well. lol Link to post Share on other sites
DrStrangelove Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I feel the same way man - a deep loss. You know what though - my friend told me there are 7 billion people in this world, and everyone has a few million people they are compatible with. Someone will come across - check out the movie Silver Linings Playbook - just watched it, and it helped me a lot. P.S. if I could get some love on my thread, would be appreciated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hmmm I think I'm already better. That was weird. Now i feel like a tool for posting. Link to post Share on other sites
DrStrangelove Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hmmm I think I'm already better. That was weird. Now i feel like a tool for posting. Ha, you could always help my thread out. Glad your feeling better. Time is a friend... Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 DOnt Email her. DOnt do it. in the end you will just end up feeling like a looser. Everyone has there moments were the memories flood in and you feel vulnerable to reach out. but dont because in the end that person didnt make you cry tears of happiness. those were tears of pain. and you only get a limited time of life... take a walk. drink some hot tea... and focus on organizing something in your life that you never had a chance too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
puzzled1 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hmmm I think I'm already better. That was weird. Now i feel like a tool for posting. Lol roller-coaster bro. I do the same damn thing! Freaking emotions 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Its been 4 month today since she told me over the phone while I was traveling that she talked to the new guy that "likes her " and she was pretty sure about ending things with me after almost 8 years. We held on for like 10 days after that when i came back until the final goodbye. I don't know but I'm just feeling a profound sense of loss today. Almost like mourning a death of someone. Haven't felt this low in a while in fact I've been holding my head up high and really trying to be positive. I don't want to reach out to her. I'm just having a really rough day and didn't expect it. Seem to be on verge of crying for the 1st time in a long time. WTF...I thought i was getting better. God I'm so f*ckin tired of this damn recovery process. Cav I feel you bro. Throughout this whole ordeal I feel our situations are so similar. You came out of an 8 year relationship and mine was 9. You just reached your 4 month milestone and i'm coming up on mine in a week. The thing is I know you know what the right thing to do is so i'm not going to elaborate on that. We will always have our ups and downs in this stupid emotional roller coaster. The only bright part about this whole ordeal is that coming out of a long relationship like the one you were in and its only taken you 4 months to get where you are is amazing. Think about it....at the rate you are going you should be over this in about another 3 months max. In that time you will always have your ups and downs but the good thing now is that the ups far out number the down days. Stay strong bro as you know this feeling will pass soon if it hasnt already. Good luck Bro. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 I feel you bro. Throughout this whole ordeal I feel our situations are so similar. You came out of an 8 year relationship and mine was 9. You just reached your 4 month milestone and i'm coming up on mine in a week. The thing is I know you know what the right thing to do is so i'm not going to elaborate on that. We will always have our ups and downs in this stupid emotional roller coaster. The only bright part about this whole ordeal is that coming out of a long relationship like the one you were in and its only taken you 4 months to get where you are is amazing. Think about it....at the rate you are going you should be over this in about another 3 months max. In that time you will always have your ups and downs but the good thing now is that the ups far out number the down days. Stay strong bro as you know this feeling will pass soon if it hasnt already. Good luck Bro. Thanks man. I feel the same about our situations and sorta keep tabs on you lol. Ha ...You know ...sorta like an LS drive by Yeah I'm feeling fine now. Just another mini melt down. Man i hope your right. If i can be completely over this in 3 more months ill be doing back flips in the street. Hope you holding strong. No more running into her fantasies OK. Ok got run.....was in middle of imagining running into her friend for coffee and her relaying how fantastic i look and am doing to ex. Link to post Share on other sites
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 (edited) Thanks man. I feel the same about our situations and sorta keep tabs on you lol. Ha ...You know ...sorta like an LS drive by Yeah I'm feeling fine now. Just another mini melt down. Man i hope your right. If i can be completely over this in 3 more months ill be doing back flips in the street. Hope you holding strong. No more running into her fantasies OK. Ok got run.....was in middle of imagining running into her friend for coffee and her relaying how fantastic i look and am doing to ex. haha same here. You know I'm always rooting for you cause I feel that your are sort of my pacer. I figure if you are doing better then I can't be that far behind cause you only have a week head start on me in the BU. You should definitely be over this in about 3 months (God i hope so cause I want to be there too). Can you imagine the alternative? I've asked some people and they say that it usually takes half the time you were with your ex to get over them. Damn, can you imagine 4 years for you and 4 and a half years for me? I shudder at the thought of that. You and I are both ahead of the game so we should be fine (crossing fingers). I've been following a lot of your post and in about 4 months time you seem to be about 70% better from where you started. It just takes time and right now it feels like we are more sick of the feeling of loss and wild emotional swings then actually missing the ex. I'm sure you will be out of the woods in 3 months so be strong and lets blow through these next 3 months. Edited January 23, 2013 by ItxWillxGetxBetter Link to post Share on other sites
Author cavalier99 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 haha same here. You know I'm always rooting for you cause I feel that your are sort of my pacer. I figure if you are doing better then I can't be that far behind cause you only have a week head start on me in the BU. You should definitely be over this in about 3 months (God i hope so cause I want to be there too). Can you imagine the alternative? I've asked some people and they say that it usually takes half the time you were with your ex to get over them. Damn, can you imagine 4 years for you and 4 and a half years for me? I shudder at the thought of that. You and I are both ahead of the game so we should be fine (crossing fingers). I've been following a lot of your post and in about 4 months time you seem to be about 70% better from where you started. It just takes time and right now it feels like we are more sick of the feeling of loss and wild emotional swings then actually missing the ex. I'm sure you will be out of the woods in 3 months so be strong and lets blow through these next 3 months. Hey thanks. The last day I actually saw her and we had good bye sex was Oct 3. So i might be a day or 2 behind you...not that it really matters ..so I'm following your lead Lol. I read that BS about 1/2 time of relationship to recover. It was like the 1st week of the breakup and it terrified me. No way this is going to be so long. Maybe like 1 month per year for us. Anyway thanks. Its cool to feel that somebody might be able to sense my progress from reading my posts. Obviously It is really hard to judge objectivity ourselves how we are doing, I find that your posts seem to also reflect you've gained a good bit of distance form the awful aftermath of the BU. Keep it up bro! Cav Link to post Share on other sites
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