na49 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Hungry... again. lol I really need to eat breakfast when I wake up. Feeling better though. I don't think she was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, but then I started thinking of the last moments we spent together, the last time I kissed her before she went to her dorm. Driving home feeling sick to my stomach by what she told me and feeling more and more depressed. That's when I sprang up and said "ENOUGH!" and rolled out of bed. I honestly could have laid in bed all day thinking and feeling sorry for myself. I can't allow myself to do that though. Link to post Share on other sites
Pinky777 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Past my 2nd week of full NC and acceptance is slowly coming. I'm feeling sad but no longer full of anguisha and self-loathing. I haven't cried in 2 days. Therapy is helping, as is writing draft after draft of a letter that i will never send to him. The possibility of a happy life without him in it is starting to take shape in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm doing terribly. 5 hours of sleep in the past two days and it's noticeable. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I feel like it had gotten easier and easier for me to accept or breakup. I am slowly getting rid of the hopes that we can work it out. I am glad that I picked up the books that I read. When you are lost and running in circles in your mind, these things can put things in perspective. I am a little nervous about his trip here but only because I am unsure of what to expect. It's going to be very hard to stand my ground if he tries to get back with me but I know that he is not what I need and he is not capable of becoming what I need anytime soon. This kind of thinking makes me feel like I'm making the right choice. It's hard to battle with feelings and logic. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Oh.. My sleep schedule is back to normal and I am eating more these days. No more crying. I know when he comes, I will cry but I keep telling myself to keep it together at least up top the point where he cries first, then I can lol Link to post Share on other sites
BUBS Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I don't feel like I'm healing but more like just burying. I'm making some progress, but still have my days but its more just pangs of feeling uneasy, feeling like it shouldnt be this way, wondering what the hell happened? The memories are getting more hazy but I think this is based on staying busy and supressing them being that last week I was a wreck, as they get more hazy it almost hurts more, he's dissapearing slowly but surely, he is a strange. His birthday is coming soon. It saddens me to know that he will share all of his experiences and success, even failures with someone who doesn't know how everything came to be, someone who didn't build the life he is living with him from the ground up since we were children. I'm sad for myself, that I'll have to build a life with someone who also wasn't there through the ever changing seasons of my teenage and young adult life to understand why I am the way I am. Link to post Share on other sites
jovan Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I feel horrible. I don't think I can take much more of this. Death seems like a sweet release atm. (not that I think about killing my self). Pain is overwhelming and I cant keep NC case of her's unpaid bills on my name... And she can't find a receipt witch i paid over a year ago... Great, so now ill have to call her in 4 day's again. I don't think I will ever get over this... Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I feel horrible. I don't think I can take much more of this. Death seems like a sweet release atm. (not that I think about killing my self). Pain is overwhelming and I cant keep NC case of her's unpaid bills on my name... And she can't find a receipt witch i paid over a year ago... Great, so now ill have to call her in 4 day's again. I don't think I will ever get over this... Sorry man. All this is normal. I also had logistics financial stuff to wrap up with my ex the 1st few weeks. Sucked. (My 1st thread ever was about this). You will eventually burn yourself out thinking of the BU and the horrific part of the suffering ends. Your brain can only take so much and will adjust. It gets better believe me. Not much longer and you will be able to function. Ok. Stay strong man. Link to post Share on other sites
jovan Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Sorry man. All this is normal. I also had logistics financial stuff to wrap up with my ex the 1st few weeks. Sucked. (My 1st thread ever was about this). You will eventually burn yourself out thinking of the BU and the horrific part of the suffering ends. Your brain can only take so much and will adjust. It gets better believe me. Not much longer and you will be able to function. Ok. Stay strong man. well this is my 4th week after the BU, and am not making any progress, while she is doing fine. Damn I cant believe that I meant so little to her. D,: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostGirl11 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Worn out and numb. Why do I feel like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Numb, just want things to be back the way they were, its been 4 months since the BU, 3 months NC, so its slipping away and it hurts every day, especially as she left me for someone so much worse then me, just my luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 tired, lonely, bit shocked because of what happened today, n still trying to hold myself together, gonnna get in bed and cry a bit, maybe that would ease the pain Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Woke up a little empty like I need to fill up a hole inside of me. I know he doesn't care and it continues to hurt. I'm waiting for a day my Feelings become numb. I see valentines decor up at the shops now. It upsets me majorly. He dumped me at the worst time possible. I went through Xmas , New Years, anniversary. And soon to be valentines. I don't feel the strength to move on there yet. I'm still stuck in yesterday's memory... I can't concentrate on other things. I get really distracted by my thoughts an emotions. I'm one that can't suppress it and act like nothing is wrong. I hate the anxiety of thinking of what his doing. there is possibility that his busy trying to replace me already. Trying to meet new people and become someone his not. I don't need to know wha his up to!! That's just it. Don't need to know! Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm angry. I'm mad. I'm hurt. I'm sad. Hard to move on. See my Thread Back together success story........so far..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyAngel Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 well this is my 4th week after the BU, and am not making any progress, while she is doing fine. Damn I cant believe that I meant so little to her. D,: I'm sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Don't worry how long it's been, everyone heals at their own rate. Take your time and grieve properly, maybe let the thought of her moving on so easily be your motivation. When I think of my ex I am sure she is happy and has moved on already and that makes me determined to do the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie2508 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Feeling numb,sick,empty,lost, as tho an elephant's sitting on my chest and someone has my heart in their hands and is squeezing the life out of it!! Just want to start feeling better,but am aware I'm the only one that can make that happen. I know I need to stop wallowing in self pity,but it's so damn hard!! Link to post Share on other sites
lemondrops11 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Sad. Fed up of him being in my mind 8 months later and finding it hard to find anyone who relates since I was the dumper. Missing him as a person and his geeky jokes Link to post Share on other sites
westcoastguy Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 alone. and then REALLY ANGRY. and then ok. and then alone. and then i want to smoke and drink. and then ok. (ugggggg) Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 ..frustrated and stuck. Started with new therapist today. Ah yes, 3 weeks of explaining my issues have nothing to do with my childhood and hoping in the end to get something to help with the depression and the fact I can't remember squat. Somedays I wish wine (vs whine) would help! Link to post Share on other sites
Pinky777 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Crappy. Tired. Exhausted. Broken. Sobbed my eyes out for hours after work today, then came on here and my strength in NC was renewed. Almost sent a text begging my ex to talk to me and I'm so glad I didn't. I'm scared because I see people on here months, sometimes a year or more after their BU and they haven't moved on, even with NC. I'm afraid that will happen to me. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I was feeling great! and then I was on facebook and some guy had my ex's name in his status. I'm driving myself mad trying to figure out who this guy is to her. He's probably just a friend but he's so weird. He's a stoner and writes weird crap all over his facebook. So weird that I unfriended him. Then again, all of her friends are weird. Anyway, now I feel like crap and I'm trying to get these thoughts out of my head! Link to post Share on other sites
TrueAwareness Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Sad. Fed up of him being in my mind 8 months later and finding it hard to find anyone who relates since I was the dumper. Missing him as a person and his geeky jokes I would love to hear your story. It's not everyday that people hear about the dumper being the one in emotional hell. Not even trying to be cld about your pain, because we all feel bad. But the dumpers are usually the minority in here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
boblet Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I missed him so bad this weekend, it's been a while since I cried about it, I just had to let it out, I felt like I was losing my mind.... today feels better. The reality of moving on is daunting me, it's been almost 2 months NC, no word from him. I hope this ugly mix of hurt and anger fades away soon, it's exhausting.. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Today, I am ok. Went through a slight hiccup on Friday though. It was a little odd. I thought I was going along ok in my healing process (which I still believe I am). I was approaching “that time of the month” which left me more emotional than usual (sorry for TMI there, lol), and one of my good male friends online I realised I’d started leaning on quite a bit and developing stronger feelings towards him due to trying to fill the hole left by my ex. So this guy is married and I knew this and had no intention of doing anything “home-wreckerish” but both of us had been getting “too” close online in our chats, and so he told me we could only be platonic. This I already knew of course, but it still hurt to hear it directly. I got upset and was in tears over all of this (but really over my ex) for half an hour before feeling much more stable again. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 i Just don't give a sh*t no more. Every text she sends I read and delete. You broke my heart and now you're my worse enemy. I tried to tell you to stop now I can't help but feel bad for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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