stevie_23 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 You know what, I don't think so. Unless it's really staring me in the face, I have no clue about that sort of things, and I'm 39. I definitively should go out more, to the pub, not the dog park or cloth shopping. lol Heheh, yeah, I never go out either, but I’m not looking to find anybody. Maybe you should try online? Meet people there in your comfort zone, then meet up in person once they seem to like you. It can be risky though. Lots of weirdos out there. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Heheh, yeah, I never go out either, but I’m not looking to find anybody. Maybe you should try online? Meet people there in your comfort zone, then meet up in person once they seem to like you. It can be risky though. Lots of weirdos out there. Lol. I feel weird doing the online thing. I have thought about it. I just feel like it's some kind of last resort kind of deal. Or for people who take the perfect shot of themselves, then you meet in real and go "wait a f min, I bought steak and I'm finding myself with liver?" lol Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I feel weird doing the online thing. I have thought about it. I just feel like it's some kind of last resort kind of deal. Or for people who take the perfect shot of themselves, then you meet in real and go "wait a f min, I bought steak and I'm finding myself with liver?" lol I've only met 1 person with online dating and it was a huge dud. You could tell she was the person in the pictures, but seemed heavier and not attractive at all, partly my fault because even off the pictures it was questionable at best if I found her attractive. I stopped doing it, but if you have a tough time meeting people I guess it could work. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 lol. Well, I’ll admit I’ve met both my relationships online. My real life long term partner of 11.5 years I met online back in 2001. We dated online only (not even any phone or text) for 6 months before meeting in person. I slightly misrepresented myself, though it wasn’t to “improve” myself. I sent real pictures of me, but said I was 2 years older than I was and had a different name, location and career. Oops. It was a complicated time for me back then. I had this “other” identity online (same personality but just different basic facts, as mentioned above) for reasons related to my ex-partner at the time, and NOTHING to do with finding anyone else to be with. It wasn’t a dating site and I had no intention of ever meeting anyone there in “that” way. I met my recent ex online too, again not on a dating site. Just a songwriting forum. We were casual friends for 1-2 years first. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I've only met 1 person with online dating and it was a huge dud. You could tell she was the person in the pictures, but seemed heavier and not attractive at all, partly my fault because even off the pictures it was questionable at best if I found her attractive. I stopped doing it, but if you have a tough time meeting people I guess it could work. Myspace angles. If they are looking directly up at the camera, be skeptical. I've done online dating a few times, nothing that's stuck for too long. It has its purpose, especially when you get into the real world and get busy, but I prefer to go out and meet people personally. Got a friend who's done really well with it though -- his fiance (who is pretty darn cute) was a girl he met online and he had two other long-term relationships with women he's met online. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 See, I’m lazy. And hard to get to know in person. And shy until you know me. And slow to trust and fall in love. So…it’s better for me to develop feelings for someone, even if they are based not entirely in reality (from being only online) before I bother to do anything about it and risk anything by meeting / hanging out in person. I need those feelings to motivate me. I have NO desire to go out and meet…”someone”. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Myspace angles. If they are looking directly up at the camera, be skeptical. I've done online dating a few times, nothing that's stuck for too long. It has its purpose, especially when you get into the real world and get busy, but I prefer to go out and meet people personally. Got a friend who's done really well with it though -- his fiance (who is pretty darn cute) was a girl he met online and he had two other long-term relationships with women he's met online. It wasn't pictures like that, I think they were just old, she had more weight in her face then the pictures even. OLD is good in theory, but I find most people are on there for a reason, and most are quite overweight and just not my type at all. And womens standards seem to jump 10x fold with OLD to. The only women I seem to meet in person through friends are huge party girls which i'm not into at all. I'm in no rush to meet anyone thought. I stopped a while ago, with likely getting surgery next month and stuff i'm really not in a place to be starting to date someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
TrueAwareness Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I play in a rock band as a hobby and we had a great gig today. Lots of people and lots of women. But i didnt really care to go through the process of getting to know any of them. It just feels like such a burden to have to go through all the courtship all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 It wasn't pictures like that, I think they were just old, she had more weight in her face then the pictures even. OLD is good in theory, but I find most people are on there for a reason, and most are quite overweight and just not my type at all. And womens standards seem to jump 10x fold with OLD to. The only women I seem to meet in person through friends are huge party girls which i'm not into at all. I'm in no rush to meet anyone thought. I stopped a while ago, with likely getting surgery next month and stuff i'm really not in a place to be starting to date someone new. Yeah, I'm generally not a fan of it. It can be useful if you are busy and don't get a chance to get out much or you are in a new city and don't know anyone I guess. And I could go for some party girls, at least in the short term Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie2508 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Had a dreadful couple of days. Feel so low and really wanna call him, but know there's no point. He either won't answer, or he will, but he'll be distant, or he'll be sympathetic..... and I know none of them will do me any good. Just want to hear his voice. Miss him so much. Think I'm going crazy, sick of it. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yeah, I'm generally not a fan of it. It can be useful if you are busy and don't get a chance to get out much or you are in a new city and don't know anyone I guess. And I could go for some party girls, at least in the short term In some ways i'd consider a very casual or FWB thing with one, but that's about it. So far they just haven't worked out. One I was setup with on hallowen but I stayed home and she ended up going home with a friend of mine even though she was already into me before that, found out after she was willing to sleep with absolutely anyone that night because she just got broken up with. Even that after I still hung out with her a few times, but when she slept with another one of my friends I bascially told her to get f*cked, she was actually wanting to date me not just have sex. No ones going to take someone like that seriously, and yet she complained she couldn't find a relationship. The other one i've seen twice, she's pretty hot and cool but she's 18 still a senior in high school and from what I can tell she's a virgin and never been with a guy at all. And I really can't see myself in a actual relationship with someone so young even though she's quite mature for her age she's huge into the bar and party thing and will be for a long time, I mean my ex's daughter is a senior in high school. And I don't think a FWB can work when one person is a virgin. It would be cool to hang out with a girl and FWB but i've found any of my friends who have done that end up in a relationship with them. I kinda regret turning down a few ONS though, it was back a while ago when I was still hoping to get back with my ex and didn't want to sleep with anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 In some ways i'd consider a very casual or FWB thing with one, but that's about it. So far they just haven't worked out. One I was setup with on hallowen but I stayed home and she ended up going home with a friend of mine even though she was already into me before that, found out after she was willing to sleep with absolutely anyone that night because she just got broken up with. Even that after I still hung out with her a few times, but when she slept with another one of my friends I bascially told her to get f*cked, she was actually wanting to date me not just have sex. No ones going to take someone like that seriously, and yet she complained she couldn't find a relationship. The other one i've seen twice, she's pretty hot and cool but she's 18 still a senior in high school and from what I can tell she's a virgin and never been with a guy at all. And I really can't see myself in a actual relationship with someone so young even though she's quite mature for her age she's huge into the bar and party thing and will be for a long time, I mean my ex's daughter is a senior in high school. And I don't think a FWB can work when one person is a virgin. It would be cool to hang out with a girl and FWB but i've found any of my friends who have done that end up in a relationship with them. I kinda regret turning down a few ONS though, it was back a while ago when I was still hoping to get back with my ex and didn't want to sleep with anyone else. I did a few ONS after mine. You aren't missing much for the most part. How funny would it be if your ex's daughter started flirting with you though. That would give your ex a mindf--k 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 And cav, since you are around, I pulled a na49 and caved and looked at my ex's Facebook. While that sucked, I found absolutely nothing on there that brought me down. I'm 99.1 percent positive she's single. No pictures of dudes except for one with a high school friend (who I'm pretty sure is dating someone else from what she told me before) when she was back home, just a few pictures of her with her chick friends (I didn't really stick on the page long and didn't scroll too far back). While four months of not creeping is down the drain, it definitely wasn't a setback. If anything, it might have gotten me out of the semi-funk I was in. Knowing that she's single (or at least not dating anyone semi-seriously, she could be doing the same thing I'm doing for all I know) allows me to step back, knowing that there's no countdown clock for me to have to make a decision, and relax. Just thought you might want to know since we were discussing it. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) I did a few ONS after mine. You aren't missing much for the most part. How funny would it be if your ex's daughter started flirting with you though. That would give your ex a mindf--k Ya that's what I figured. Haha, I could of easily did something with her but i'm just too good of a guy I guess, I caught her checking me out a few times. She is pretty dahm hot and I just didn't see her that way while dating her mom, the second I became interested in her mom I just seen her as a kid. Just young and innocent to, she was 16 at that time and had never done anything with a guy except kiss. Although I can't say it wasn't hard sometimes seeing her and her friends running around the house not wearing much with no bras and stuff and they both had big perky eyes Not that I ever would, but if I did my ex would try and cut my balls off if I did something with her daughter... Edited January 30, 2013 by suladas Link to post Share on other sites
Author MyAngel Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 So I guess I've been doing okay. I guess? I think so. Better than I was, that's for sure. It's been 2 months since she broke it off via email and since then, nothing at all. I haven't cried, actually properly cried (you know, big heaving sobs, wet face, the whole lot) for like 3-4 weeks. WOW. I am a huge crier, so this is major for me. I hope it's a turning point. But today I had a tiny weep as I felt a bit sadder but it didn't last and I was able to stop because I don't want to cry over this, don't want to waste my tears on someone who can so easily abandon me. Why, 2 months later and 1 month of not crying, do I feel like crying today? Is this the last little hurdle I need to go through? I still think about her often. Too much. I don't know how to stop but I know it will with time. It's a very hard time for me but I know I am getting better. I can feel it. Just need to stop these thoughts of someone who doesn't exist anymore and probably never even did. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Absolutely terrible. Had a relapse. like I don't want to go on. terrified of being alone. miss him terribly. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelifexx Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 2.5 months since breakup, and I finally realized that he is not coming back. So I caved and broke NC. I sent him an email. And now I am sick to my stomach waiting for his reply. Self inflicted pain. Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Thinking long and hard about what I would do if he came back asking me for a second chance. Its really tough. After stomping on my heart, is it really ok to accept that person back into my life? Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Knackered, been doing judo & kickboxing all week, had to take my weight training day off as I was way too sore and only managed 20 mins (I usually do 45 minute runs) today. Everytime I've trained I've been feeling worse, I really miss my ex. I'm used to the feeling now but I do get the sudden urges to contact her. It just sucks as she hasn't even tried to contact me at all, not even at Xmas. I'm going out tonight and worried I'm gonna break my 3 and a half month NC by some stupid drunken action. Link to post Share on other sites
Heartfail Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 After what felt like a huge relapse on Sunday (when my ex came to my house to pick up my housemate for a run) I feel like this has been the best week so far. I made it my mission to keep busy this week I went out with new people from work and got in touch with old friends I haven't seen for a while. Being out and about especially at gigs (I work in the music industry) really made me feel like I was reconnecting to the other important stuff in my life like work. I started to feel like me again. I am also seeing a therapist which is helping a surprising amount. I haven't been able to resist social network site stalking but I have maintained NC in terms of not messaging or emailing him and I am trying to come to terms with the idea that we probably won't ever be friends again. The hole is still there I still feel it all the time but the whirlpool head emotions seem to have subsided- I went over 5 minutes this morning when I woke up before I thought of him which was a huge break through and a sure fire sign I am on the mend. Link to post Share on other sites
StraylightRun24 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Today is officially 6 weeks post breakup and on Sunday it will be 6 weeks of NC. While I can say I'm proud of myself for keeping my NC pledge I have to admit that thoughts of my ex completely forgetting about me and moving on have been creeping into my head all week. It might have something to do with me caving and looking at her Facebook on Monday night and seeing she went out over the weekend and most likely met up with the dude she was in an open relationship with before me. Stupid move on my part! You live and you learn (and continue moving forward!) Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie2508 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) Feeling really low today.Lost,confused,miss him more than ever and can't come to terms with what's happened. Just want to speak to him,Ifeel so bad now,I'm not sure it could make me feel any worse. Applied to see a counseller nearly 2 weeks ago,and they wont even get back to me......what does that say about me???! Edited February 8, 2013 by Debbie2508 Link to post Share on other sites
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