Upset with my brother

[sweetkiwi]

Okay here's the back story. He's 19, I am 25. His 20yo friend, who was my friend too, developed a major crush on me. After a date and making out he completely becomes TOO into me.

 

Saying he loves me. Asking what "we" are. Won't stop touching me even after I ask and wiggle away from his grip. And most recently he tried to invite himself to sleep in my bed.

 

I know youre thinking, why not just avoid this person? Because I have tried. I told him I needed him to back off. So he calls my brother and gets invited over to my house. I leave. Repeat awkward situation 5+ times per week.

 

I have told my brother to please at least warn me. He doesn't. I have told him that I wish I could have a break from seeing this guy. At least a freaking couple days!!!!!

 

My brother doesn't seem to care or respect that I dont want him in the house. And honestly Wth would he be coming over MORE now that I dont appreciate his presence???!???

 

So my question is Wth do I say or do at this point. It is unnerving to have him show up unexpectedly and while I am just trying to be peaceful in my house.

[Anela]

I can relate, only it's my sisters' now-husband, and he lives in Canada - but when she wants him to be here, she expects him to be here for at least a month. I can't take it for one *day*. I might have, had they backed off when I was already climbing the walls, but now??

 

Her husband hit on me in the past, when she left him alone here. Another time, after he'd been here for christmas (and ruined my holiday), a few months later, he declared his undying love for me, and said that he didn't feel the same for my sister. He admitted last year, that he likes me too much, and knows that the problems between me and my sister are his fault, but my sister would have to admit there's a problem with her relationship, to admit there's any problem at all, so she blames me for being unable to get over things, and says about him, "He was either drunk, or it didn't happen."

 

I'm not trying to hijack the thread, I'm just saying that I really get it, I just don't know what advice to give, but I feel for you. My mother went through something similar, when she was younger - a guy who was invited over by her mother, and she kept ducking into her sisters' house until he got the point. I really hate this - he is giving no thought to your peace of mind, and your home is supposed to be the one place you can just relax.

[Keenly]

Well kiwers... From a man's perspective. Your going have to say some reeeeeeaaaallly mean **** to your brother's friend. Your going to have to hurt his feelings so he backs off.... It's the only way.

 

A child wants to touch the stove, but saying no doesn't work. Only once the child burns its hand does it know its off limits.

 

P.s. that sucks that this story is about your little bros best friend X_x

[sweetkiwi]

Well kiwers... From a man's perspective. Your going have to say some reeeeeeaaaallly mean **** to your brother's friend. Your going to have to hurt his feelings so he backs off.... It's the only way.

 

A child wants to touch the stove, but saying no doesn't work. Only once the child burns its hand does it know its off limits.

 

P.s. that sucks that this story is about your little bros best friend X_x

 

So glad you brought that up. I told him the same thing. That since he can't respect my wishes or ME that I will have to he mean so he get it through his head. I honestly expected nothing like this.

 

Or I would have adamantly refused dinner in the first place. I talked to my brother and he said he understood but had a very apparent attitude problem. If it continues to happen I will go to the guy myself and tell him to leave me the fhuck alone.

 

The sad thing is I liked his friendship. And now since he's constantly in my space when I told him to leave me alone for a while, I am completely done with him.

[Keenly]

You have to look out for number one. It will hurt his feelings but it will teach him how to act around a woman.

[sweetkiwi]

You have to look out for number one. It will hurt his feelings but it will teach him how to act around a woman.

 

I dont want to be mean. I think I will remain cold and keep leaving if I see him. Its very unfortunate he's behaving like this.

 

I dont think he has much experience. Especially hot with a woman 5 years his senior. This situation is very annoying. I will address issues if they arise. It seems like they will.