How Did You Meet Your Partner?

[2.50 a gallon]

Have you noticed how often, like in my story, the right two people, somehow find themselves in the right place at the right time.

 

I am in the first wave of the baby boomers. I guess you might say I met my first gf when I was still in diapers, our parents have pictures of us barely being able to walk holding hand and hugging.

 

Her father was a returning wounded vet, he had been a farmer, but chose to take a salesman job in a large midwestern city. One morning in the spring of 1945, instead of parking near his work place, he decided to park around the block near a park and listen to the birds. Just as he finished shoving coins in the meter he heard this commotion just as young southern girl caught her heal in a crack in the sidewalk and literally fell into his arms. Their eyes met, he loved her Georgian drawl and the rest is history.

 

She was on her way for a job interview, and had he not parked around the block they probably would never have met.

[KeepMeInMind]

Another great story!! I love it!!

[ForeverHopeful1]

When I met my H, it was on a blind date. I was looking for sex/a fling, if I am being completely honest. I was 19 and not looking for something serious. We have been together for 9 years. He was looking for me and looking for a girl to settle down with. I had just been in a 2 year long relationship with cheating issues on my BFs part (friggin jerk) and he also had issues in the bedroom. I was pretty miserable sexually, at the tender age of 19! BAH!

 

We really hit it off. We had sex really early! Lol. We met early in February of 2004 and then Valentines Day rolled around and one thing led to another. Bow chica wow wow!!!

 

I was not really in any shape to be starting a new relationship though. I am glad I went on that blind date and met my hubby though. We got married on Oct 10, 2010. We have been trying to have a baby for quite some time now. =S

Edited April 8, 2013 by ForeverHopeful1

[KeepMeInMind]

Bump for an uplifting thread.

[LittleTiger]

Bump for an uplifting thread.

 

I'll play

 

I was in a tough place, separated for over a year and my exH had announced three months earlier that he wanted to make it permanent. I was very sad.

 

Since I had foolishly been expecting a reconciliation, my reaction was 's*d you then'. I decided I'd been on my own long enough and started dating online.

 

Within a couple of weeks of posting my profile I met my now fiancé. We were 12,000 miles apart and became great online pen pals - at least that's what we told ourselves. Two months later he flew from NZ to the UK to meet me and so began the best relationship either of us has ever had. :love:

[RiverRunning]

We first started talking online (are we counting that as meeting?) a year before we met in person. At the time, I was in an awful relationship with an awful person. I'd say I was at a weak and vulnerable point in my life.

 

A year later, when we met in person, I was feeling powerful, in control and freshly out of that relationship. I felt great about myself, but I wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship. Fun? For sure! I think I knew that eventually I would meet someone special - while I was in my previous relationship (mind you, I've only been in two and I married the second), there were other people who started showing interest.

 

That was the catalyst that told me, "This isn't the only guy you could ever attract. You can attract other people, and you can be happy!"

 

It's had some bumps and curves and I haven't always been happy, but I am happy I married my husband.

[daletom]

. . . Two months later he flew from NZ to the UK to meet me and so began the best relationship either of us has ever had.

How long after the first in-person meeting did you become engaged? Did either of you do anything about the geographic separation? When do you expect to be married?

 

Your experience has a little bit of similarity to my own. There's a sketchy summary back at Post #41 in this thread, but more details (and the similarities) at Post #11 in the thread "Anyone LDR prior to meeting?" at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/391320-anyone-ldr-prior-meeting#post4877321 . For us it was about 3-1/2 months from first contact to in-person meeting, a little over 3 months from first face-to-face to engagement, and one year plus two weeks from first laying eyes on each other until marriage.

Edited May 16, 2013 by daletom

[rainfall]

I met him when I was going through my, "I don't want a relationship I just want to have fun and party phase".

[Ursa]

Not the way you think I mean. I'm doing a bit of research to prove or disprove a belief system I have studied. So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

 

For example:

 

You were feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship.

 

or

 

You were feeling okay, getting by, etc, but felt like you'd never meet someone special.

 

I know this sounds odd, but please humor me.

 

 

Hmm. I first "met" him when I was making a major life change, moving to another city in another state. I was excited about the change and wanted to meet people in the new area, both friends and potential lovers, and put up a profile on OKCupid indicating that I was into a broad spectrum of interactions...friends, penpals, dates, whatever. He saw my profile numerous times but never wrote because I had actually moved FROM his area to somewhere about a thousand miles away...but I kept showing up as his top match within 1,000 miles, and he liked my sense of humor, so he eventually wrote me anyway just on a whim. I appreciated the fact that he liked me as a person, and was interested in just being friends even if I didn't live next door...so many men aren't interested in pursuing any kind of interaction with women that won't immediately lead to sex, I found his attitude very refreshing.

 

I had been in serious relationships before, but I had ended an engagement once and then gone through a few bad breakups and so then I spent some time purposely alone reevaluating my own flaws within relationships, improving myself, etc. At the time that I first met my now-husband online, I was dating casually and open to the idea of getting serious again. I loved his letters, his humor and intellect, found him quite fascinating--we began communicating almost every day--but I didn't really believe in long distance relationships and wasn't planning to move again so I continued to meet and date people in real life, as did he (everything quite open and aboveboard all the way around). Still, I couldn't really successfully shift my deeper focus to anyone else--he was really the person I wanted to know better. He had the same problem with a woman he saw a few times during this period. Our mental connection was fantastic, and that is something I have always required. Conversation was effortless, and it felt like we both fed and grew off of each other's energy. Several months later we finally met IRL. He had to talk me into it, as I was nervous-- I was deliberately somewhat pessimistic about how that would turn out, as I didnt' want to let my hopes get too high and then find them dashed against the rocks--but everything clicked IRL as well, and a serious romance snowballed quickly from there. We began a romantic LDR, flying back and forth every other weekend, and about six months after that I ended up moving again to live with him.

 

We got married a few years later on the anniversary of that first in-person meeting/date, and we consider that our double anniversary, but we really met almost a year before that only on the virtual plane.

[HonestNeurotic]

I wasn't looking for a relationship. I had been married for 17 years and was divorced and had a "rebound relationship", what I call My Favorite Mistake. I never really dated much when I was young and I just enjoyed dating. It was interesting and entertaining. But I had no desire to have to "be" with someone and really enjoyed my own space. I never lived alone and really enjoyed it!

 

It was getting to be winter, and I only did online dating as I have firm rules about socializing with people from work and I didn't have many other activities that involved groups except for skydiving, and they were all kinda young wankers. My subscription to the dating site was set to expire and I was ready to just hunker down and write and other stuff I do by myself. I would never let anyone pick me up at my home and I don't like driving in the winter. I was 40. I was very particular with what I was looking for, and though many guys were nice enough, they weren't worth giving up that much of my time that a relationship requires. Then my now husband, who was on that dating site, wrote me a note - It started - "I realize that I am not what you are looking for, but I saw that you are a writer........

 

I had actually made some friends from my dating adventures, and after reading his profile, well, I wanted to meet this person. And we met. And that was it. I never thought that I would ever meet someone that I was 100% comfortable with, I'm a tad odd. So is he. Everyone that knows us from before we met can see how we are perfect to face the world together. When we were on Easter Island, we decided that we would get married, though both of us are kinda "it's just a piece of paper". We got married on my brothers birthday, as he had died the year before and there was no holiday in June in our families with him gone. Though we don't celebrate anniversaries, save for Groundhogs Day, when we first "consummated" our love. So many people were happy I "found" somebody, but I really wasn't looking for a life partner.

[LittleTiger]

How long after the first in-person meeting did you become engaged? Did either of you do anything about the geographic separation? When do you expect to be married?

 

Your experience has a little bit of similarity to my own. There's a sketchy summary back at Post #41 in this thread, but more details (and the similarities) at Post #11 in the thread "Anyone LDR prior to meeting?" at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/391320-anyone-ldr-prior-meeting#post4877321 . For us it was about 3-1/2 months from first contact to in-person meeting, a little over 3 months from first face-to-face to engagement, and one year plus two weeks from first laying eyes on each other until marriage.

 

Your story is lovely daletom, very romantic.

 

Kiwi man and I talked about marriage within weeks of actually meeting for real. It was light hearted banter to start with but we both knew that's where we were heading. It was pretty much a fait accompli. He 'officially' proposed nine months after our first meeting - on one knee on the side of a mountain in Switzerland. We have kept the piece of rock he was kneeling on (it was hurting his knee throughout the proposal! )

 

We are both constantly doing what we can to close the distance between us as quickly as possible - trying to sell houses and find suitable jobs etc. As we are in our 40s and both 'second-timers' our situation is, unfortunately, complicated by family and financial commitments at opposite ends of the world. We make the most of the things though and we get together for a month or more whenever we can. We have a wonderful relationship and consider ourselves very lucky.

 

Our wedding was originally booked for August 2011, with the venue reserved and invitations under way. Sadly, due to circumstances beyond our control we had to postpone it - for a long time. The new date is currently under discussion though so watch this space!

[daletom]

Kiwi man and I talked about marriage within weeks of actually meeting for real. It was light hearted banter to start with . . .

My wife and I were much younger than you when we started writing and I think we had general ideas about our life expectations, attitudes toward marriage, etc before we met in person. I truly believe we shared and learned a lot more between us in the 3 months of writing than would have come out in a "normal" dating relationship of that length between two people unfamiliar with each other. I know it sounds juvenile but after our meeting and first date I was giving serious thought to "Is she my life partner?". And it DEFINITELY sounds like the stereotype of a horny guy but the kiss at the end of that date was a notable factor in my serious thoughts. (She insists there wouldn't have been a first-date kiss, and certainly not with as much passion and lust, if she didn't know me well enough from our writing to think she was truly attracted to me.)

 

The proposal in Switzerland, rock, etc is a great story, too. It seems like everybody else has a better proposal story than we do. We were together for one of our weekends - actually, visiting some of her friends where she had gone to college - and I was taking her back after spending an evening together. I just stopped, took both her hands in mine, and asked if she would marry me and when we should do it.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your delays! I have always said that once you make the decision to marry, it should happen within a year or so. (It was hard enough just waiting the nine months or so of our engagement!) And it seems a lot of couples - young couples - have lines like, "Well, we've been engaged for a couple years but haven't set a date yet . . ." which makes me wonder if they are serious about it.

 

I have an idea of how the homes, jobs, extended families, etc can REALLY complicate matters but I hope you guys can be permanently together SOON!

[MrWindupBird]

In high school, I worked as a bag boy at a grocery store.

 

My wife worked there one summer when she was home from college.

 

We flirted and then reconnected 4 years later and have been together since.

[cocorico]

Not the way you think I mean. I'm doing a bit of research to prove or disprove a belief system I have studied. So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

 

For example:

 

You were feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship.

 

or

 

You were feeling okay, getting by, etc, but felt like you'd never meet someone special.

 

I know this sounds odd, but please humor me.

 

I was on top of the world. I did not need or want a R. I had it all going for me.

[LittleTiger]

I truly believe we shared and learned a lot more between us in the 3 months of writing than would have come out in a "normal" dating relationship of that length between two people unfamiliar with each other.

 

I completely agree with you daletom. We knew so much about each other and were such great friends by the time we met for real, all we needed was a bit of chemistry for the relationship to take off like a rocket - which it did - and he was a perfect gentleman, which made him even more attractive to me.

 

The proposal in Switzerland, rock, etc is a great story, too. It seems like everybody else has a better proposal story than we do. We were together for one of our weekends - actually, visiting some of her friends where she had gone to college - and I was taking her back after spending an evening together. I just stopped, took both her hands in mine, and asked if she would marry me and when we should do it.

 

I don't think there is any such thing as a 'better proposal story', any more than there is a 'better proposal'. Yours was special and unique for the two of you and that's the only thing that matters - except of course that she said 'yes'!

 

I'm sorry to hear about your delays! I have always said that once you make the decision to marry, it should happen within a year or so. (It was hard enough just waiting the nine months or so of our engagement!) And it seems a lot of couples - young couples - have lines like, "Well, we've been engaged for a couple years but haven't set a date yet . . ." which makes me wonder if they are serious about it.

 

I have an idea of how the homes, jobs, extended families, etc can REALLY complicate matters but I hope you guys can be permanently together SOON!

 

It is a very frustrating that we can't be together all the time yet but, on the plus side, I think it has been really good for our relationship. We've had to work on our communication more than most couples and we've gone from strength to strength because of it.

 

We've had a lot of obstacles thrown our way since we first met, which probably would have torn most couples apart. Having to postpone the wedding 'until further notice' wasn't fun but then, as much as we would love to be married, we know it's our relationship that matters most. I think the vast majority of married couples would envy what we have. The fact that we are not young virgins waiting for our wedding night probably makes it a little easier too!

 

I agree with you about 'young' couples who seem to be engaged permanently. I'm not sure what the point of that is. In our case we would be married tomorrow if we could find a way not to be separated afterwards. We believe we were meant for each other, but somebody 'up there' wasn't too good at geography!

 

Thanks for your good wishes daletom. Things are looking very hopeful for a wedding, and a big move for one of us, in 2014!

[daletom]

. . . The fact that we are not young virgins waiting for our wedding night probably makes it a little easier too! . . .

Previously, did you have the experience of deliberately waiting for sex (even if you didn't wait all the way to your wedding night)? If so, do you think the waiting ended up strengthening the overall relationship, or did it draw too much attention to sex at the expense of other factors?

[LittleTiger]

Previously, did you have the experience of deliberately waiting for sex (even if you didn't wait all the way to your wedding night)? If so, do you think the waiting ended up strengthening the overall relationship, or did it draw too much attention to sex at the expense of other factors?

 

Much as I'm enjoying the 'conversation' daletom, I think we're getting off-topic so I'll PM my answer - the mods are pretty strict these days! Unless you want to start a new thread on this topic and I'll happily respond there.

[daletom]

. . . He 'officially' proposed nine months after our first meeting - on one knee on the side of a mountain in Switzerland. We have kept the piece of rock he was kneeling on . . .

Is it you guys in the photo "Man Tracks Down Couple from Mysterious Mountaintop Proposal" at http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-tracks-down-couple-mysterious-mountaintop-proposal-212824233.html ?

 

Also at https://twitter.com/geoffpress/status/336588801793208320/photo/1

Edited May 23, 2013 by daletom

[daletom]

. . . I think we're getting off-topic . . . Unless you want to start a new thread on this topic

It's "Postponing Sex and Effects on Relationships" at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/395596-postponing-sex-effects-relationships

[aussietigerwolf]

I was feeling great about myself but had totally given up on meeting a decent guy. I actually only met my partner because a friend had talked me into joining a dating site my friend was on. lol my partner had also given up and was going to delete his account but decided to just check my profile as he was leaving. the rest as they say is history

[LittleTiger]

Is it you guys in the photo "Man Tracks Down Couple from Mysterious Mountaintop Proposal" at Man Tracks Down Couple from Mysterious Mountaintop Proposal | ABC News Blogs - Yahoo! ?

 

Also at https://twitter.com/geoffpress/status/336588801793208320/photo/1

 

No, that's not us. We were on the Matterhorn in Switzerland - and carrying a lot more gear than that!

 

We're probably about twenty years older too!

 

How lovely that somebody captured that moment for them!

[dreamingoftigers]

We met when my husband asked me for change in the street. I'm not kidding.

 

We got to talking, he invited me out to sit with him.

He made me laugh so much and we clicked so well.

 

He got off the street, sobered up, started working etc. We were engaged at 3 months and married a year and a day to the day we met.

 

Monday will be eight years together and Tuesday will be seven years married.

 

We've had a lot of struggles largely due to our family histories and the issues mentally and emotionally that come with that. And the stresses of learning how to actually build a life together.

 

But I don't regret the pace we set. We didn't know better about how much our histories/traumas would affect us going forward. If we had we probably still would how married on the same time line, but with more pre-emotive work done instead of trying to clean up the aftermath of a mess.

[daletom]

We met when my husband asked me for change in the street. . . . Monday will be eight years together and Tuesday will be seven years married.

Please don't think I am being the least bit insulting, condescending or disparaging when I say . . . It's a beautiful thing when a socially outcast person is moved toward wholeness. What you are doing together goes beyond admirable or honorable, toward sacred.

 

My best wishes for continued progress!