How Did You Meet Your Partner?

[KeepMeInMind]

Bump for more.

[2.50 a gallon]

After the break up of my short marriage, I was determined to never fall in love again. However, that did not mean that my love life would have to suffer.

 

I was so determined that ten years later I broke off a 4 year on / off (Off because she kept hitting the 'marry me' button) relationship with a very good looking, very intelligent and very rich gal, who was 15 years younger than me, by packing up my stuff and moving a thousand miles away back to my home town. She liked to travel and could afford it, and invited me to accompany her many times, which I always declined. The breaking point was an offer for a two week scuba diving trip to Tahiti. I was very tempted and the coward that I am put as much distance as I could between us.

 

I liked living alone, I had a lot going on in my life with doing historical research and some writing. And I was not lonely as I could date whom ever I wanted

 

I quickly got a job working nights. About four months later, after leaving work on a hot July night I stopped by the first convience store I came to for a cold soda. And she was the new night check out girl.

 

My first impression was there was a face I could kiss for the rest of my life, followed quickly by "look at them legs". As you might guess I am a leg man, especially long legs, which means she was taller than me. And most women prefer dating guys taller than them. But I was determined to feel those long legs wrapped around me.

 

From her good looks I knew she likely had a boy friend. And began plotting to become her friend, and wait for him to make a mistake. Which he did 3 years later.

 

In the mean time my love life had not suffered, in fact my old girl friend had come over to visit and we were planning on a trip to Disney land.

 

Second date, first kiss, and I was in love. That was 17 years ago and I am still just as in love with her.

[Brightwind]

I met my partner at the bar while trying to hide from my ex, who was also there. My ex and I had had an ugly breakup, and that night he went out of his way to make me feel uncomfortable (I wanted to leave, but stayed because I was trying to prove a point about how 'cool' I was with my ex's ugly words and actions). I drank entirely too much whiskey in an attempt to mask my uncomfortability, and ended up talking with this man next to me at the bar who was also quite drunk and incidentally also dealing with seeing someone uncomfortable from his past. We had a really great (albeit sloppy) conversation, and I quickly forgot about my ex. At the end of the night, the man leaned over to me and said 'would you like to see me sometime when we're sober?' I did. We did. And we've been together ever since...

[BecomingABetterMe]

I met my boyfriend Luke (not his real name) when we were 15 and 17 years old, on the track team. He was a 3-sport varsity athlete and I was a very quiet, studious kid. Because he was older and had a different circle of friends, we didn't interact much and I didn't really think about him too much. He tells me that he definitely noticed me and that I am 100% his type (sweet, intelligent, dark hair, olive skin, big brown eyes). He added me on Facebook at some point and I was happy to see that he'd married a gorgeous blonde, athletic girl. I didn't think about him any further until I saw on Facebook that he and his wife had split. I let him know that I was sorry to hear that and that I'd be praying for him.

 

I was dating someone at the time that Luke was going through his divorce, but the relationship was brief. It was a pretty ****ty relationship that started six months after I'd broken off an engagement. I was frustrated that I'd fallen for the guy's b.s., but was moving on easily enough through spending a lot of time with my friends and family hiking, running, and going to the beach. Luke was doing the same, healing from the end of his marriage. I messaged him to wish him a happy birthday and he wrote back thanking me and asking if I'd like to go running sometime. Two months later he asked me to be his girlfriend.

 

I don't think either of us were 100% when we started dating, but we were both well on our way to being happy again. I am super cautious about getting as attached to someone again as I was to my ex-fiance, and even more so about falling for a line of b.s. like I did with the last guy. Luke seemed to be a-okay when we first started running together, but just last night he opened up that he still harbors a bit of anger towards his ex, and that even though he knows he'll never get one, it would really help him have closure if she would apologize or at least acknowledge the multitude of things she did to end their marriage. It took a lot of counseling before I really had closure from the end of my engagement, and he knows about that. I've encouraged him to seek counseling and he's thinking about it.

[MuscleCarFan]

My better half (pink_sugar) and I met at work.

[tbf]

Met my husband just before Christmas in 2008. I was dropping presents off with my friends and got stuck in the snow. He was/is their next door neighbor, saw me and came out to help. Our first date was our two different NYE parties and the rest is history which included getting married and having two boys.

 

So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

In a pretty good frame of mind, ready for something serious but concerned about my ability to trust. But since he's so trustworthy, he never triggered my distrust and still hasn't.

[youdunsay]

My better half (pink_sugar) and I met at work.

 

And...? How were you feeling during that time?

[NYWoman]

After my divorce, I really did not care whether I got into another relationship or not. Sort of had the been there and done that attitude. For the next few years I dated, but that was only for fun and companionship.

 

Winter time planning at trip to visit my brother, instead of driving, he suggested I take the train. I had never ridden on a train, but figured why not enjoy the winter scenary.

 

We met on the train, we had plenty of time to relax, talk. His story was similar to mine. And by the time we got to our destination I was more than interested and was glad I hadn't taken my car.

[Kaza]

I met him at work, and we were friends for a few years but not close friends and I was in a relationship. Then I had a crush on him, at the same time my relationship was going wrong. I got out of it and wasn't so interested in that friend anymore, mostly I felt relationships were hard and wasn't ready for one. After a few months, I got over my past relationship, as in felt much better, still liked him and we started talking more and we got together.

[Woggle]

I met her walking on the boardwalk. There was some band playing in a bar and she was at the same place. As we were walking out I told her I thought the band was good and she agreed. After that we got something to eat and the rest is history. Sadly the place of our first date was destroyed by Sandy.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I was in a relationship.

Met at a Starbucks on October 28th.

 

 

Not happy, not sad either though. Just sorta drifting.

I also had gotten divorced [legally through although separated since august of 2011] in may of that year.

 

We aren't married, but we have been inseparable since we met. Going on 4 months of living together.

[Woggle]

Wow your girlfriend sure had problems controlling her temper didn't she!

 

Did you dump Sandy after she did that?

 

I meant Superstorm Sandy. My wife's name is not Sandy.

[Pyro]

Not the way you think I mean. I'm doing a bit of research to prove or disprove a belief system I have studied. So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

 

For example:

 

You were feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship.

 

or

 

You were feeling okay, getting by, etc, but felt like you'd never meet someone special.

 

I know this sounds odd, but please humor me.

 

Things were good for me. Months and months had passed since my mutual breakup with the ex and I was enjoying life. I wasn't actively looking to find a relationship. It happened unannounced.

 

I meant Superstorm Sandy. My wife's name is not Sandy.

 

You need to pick up on obvious humor a little better.

[miss_jaclynrae]

What did you do about the "coffee breath" issue?

 

Definitely NOT an issue.

[DazedConfusedEtc]

I had just finally escaped from an extremely emotionally abusive relationship 5 days earlier, and started intensive treatment for an eating disorder 2 months earlier.

 

So, in short, I was at a point where I was ready and wanted to change my life and be happy, but really really really not looking for a relationship

[daletom]

I was 21, almost 22, and had graduated from college. I remember sitting in my college graduation. (Astronaut Deke Slayton was the speaker and he was looking forward to a Skylab mission, so you can get the year pretty close.) As many of my friends stepped down from the stage with their diploma, they were met by a wife or girlfriend (or both?) who administered displays of affection bordering on sexual assault. I thought, "HEY - I must bet the ONLY guy here who has never been laid!". (Well, it wasn't true then and I don't think it would be true today, but it would be another 5 to 10 years before I really knew that.)

 

I was frustrated and discouraged because it seemed like everybody who wanted to be in a relationship had a relationship, and I had gone through 4 years of college - supposedly the best years for meeting partners and forming relationships - without dates, much less a girlfriend.

 

(About 6 months later I was introduced to a girl by a much older mutual friend. One year plus two weeks after we first laid eyes on each other we exchanged virginity - I gave her mine, and she offered hers in return - on our WEDDING NIGHT. Not very good sex, but a very significant and emotionally intense experience for both of us. Still married over 38 yrs later.)

[KathyM]

I was 18. I had recently broken it off with a prior boyfriend who I realized was not right for me. This guy (now my husband) had everything I would want in a man (charming, handsome, polite, intelligent, ambitious, with good character and personality). It's not every day you meet a guy like that. They are hard to come by, so I married him. My sister's boyfriend introduced us.

[LoveMyWifey]

I was 25 and decided I that I needed to ger serious about finding a "keeper" so I went on a full scale self development process to overcome my insecurities and develop dating skills. I was scared inside but was taking those fears head on.

[youdunsay]

I was 25 and decided I that I needed to ger serious about finding a "keeper" so I went on a full scale self development process to overcome my insecurities and develop dating skills. I was scared inside but was taking those fears head on.

 

 

And may I ask how did you realize she is that keeper?

[2.50 a gallon]

Running from the out of state GF was a mistake, as she then came over to visit and in so doing met my family. My mother, with only 2 grand children from my sister, saw hope in me finally adding to the flock.

 

The out of state GF was very attractive, and we had lots in common, and the reason I ran was her age, me 45, her 30. Looking down the road another 15 years, I saw me 60, her 45 and us having a couple of kids in their early teens. To me it added up to another disasterous divorce, even more so as there would be kids involved.

 

However, having met my current GF, will call her Pat, I was able to resist the 30 year old's advances.

 

The first hint that I might have a deeper interest in Pat came at the Christmas party of my company, while I had a date, I spent the night wishing I could have been dancing with Pat. And being jealous of her then BF

 

I was born in the midwest, and at age 8, we took a vacation out west. Going thru Denver, there was this one spot with a lake that so impressed me, that at age 8, I was determined to some day live there. Forty years later that dream was still with me, so I began sending out resumes to the Denver area and recieve several If you are ever in the area, come in for and interview. Towards that possibilty I had a two week vacation planned to do just that. And at that same time Pat and her BF were hitting a rough spot and she was planning on leaving him. I almost had her convinced to go with me, but she changed her mind at the last second.

 

While in Denver I was offered and awesome job, and even went so far as to put down a deposit on the perfect apartment, right where I had longed to live for the past 40 years. I took lots of photos, hoping to show Pat so that I might get her to come up and visit me. But upon returning home, I find out a couple of days after I left, she had broken up with her BF, quit her job and moved, suppposedly to this small town about 15 miles away.

 

Just my luck she is available, all I have to do is find her. A year later I have given up on my search, and am planning a second trip to Colorado, for more interviews.

 

As I am about ready to leave on Saturday, in fact am finishing up washing the dishes, my kitchen sink goes nuts and there is water every where. Sunday I discover a leak in my gas tank. Monday afternoon, truck is fixed, and ready to roll, but need to gas up. On the way to the gas station discover that there is an accident on the freeway so take a side road. Half a mile down the road I spot her at her mail box, she had just broken up with her BF again, 30 seconds earlier or later and we would never have met again.

Edited February 19, 2013 by 2.50 a gallon

[KeepMeInMind]

Wow, 2.50, that's a great story!

[GoodOnPaper]

So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

 

When I met my wife, unfortunately I was as low emotionally as I've ever been. I generally had a lot of trouble getting dates but my last year in college I actually felt comfortable in my own skin. Then, moving on to grad school, things came crashing down in a hurry. Out of nowhere comes my then-future-wife -- she was more into me than I was into her (a first for me), but we started dating and before you know it, time moves on and we're married.

[stevie_23]

So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner?

 

For example:

 

You were feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship.

 

or

 

You were feeling okay, getting by, etc, but felt like you'd never meet someone special.

 

I know this sounds odd, but please humor me.

 

When I met my current partner, I was in the second category above. We met online in a friendly chat room (which could be used for finding people romantically but mostly wasn’t). Neither of us was interested in finding anyone else. My ex-partner had broken up with me 2 months before I met my partner online, and I was feeling ok but not blissfully happy and I had pretty much accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I was 22 at the time. Lol. (this is back in 2001, by the way)

 

At first my partner and I were just friends, but we then got very close, sent heaps of emails, chatted online every night, and 3 months after we met, we told each other how we felt. Neither of us was sure the other felt the same way, and it was all very exciting when we revealed our feelings.

 

So anyway, blah, blah, that was 12 years ago and we’re still together.

 

Unfortunately I am not 100% happy, which is a shame because my partner is amazing and wonderful and has never done anything wrong, but I had an almost 2 year affair starting in March 2011, with a married man. (long distance, online, text, videos, phone contact, etc)

 

When I met him, I was obviously very much settled with my partner, but not the happiest and also obviously bored, although I hadn’t admitted that to myself yet.

[KeepMeInMind]

Stevie, you're strong for admitting that. I had an affair with someone who was also in a relationship like yours - unhappy, but the partner had never done anything wrong in the marriage. Tough situation.

[CherryT]

I felt pretty good about myself. I had a great year and accomplished some goals of mine that I've had for awhile. I wasn't looking and he showed up... we're planning to get married in the next 2 years.