fellowes7892000 Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 Hi guys, here's a very quick version of what's going on: I was going out with a girl for 2 yrs. We broke up about 3 months ago. We have tried to be friends, but it's more like me trying to get her back an her trying to be friends. We broke up because I took so long to say "I love you" that she had convinced herself that it would never happen and talked herself out of loving me. We tried (I tried, she never really did I feel) to work it out and she eventually kissed another guy and that's where it ended. I broke it off but she wanted to as well because she said she didn't love me any more. But soon after I asked her back - I totally forgive her and still do totally love her. Since then she's maintained that it wouldn't work, and we should be friends. Now she wants to catch up with me. We talk about once a week on the phone, and text each other during the week a couple of times usually. We haven't seen each other for 2 months. She wants to catch up, and has texted a few times in the last couple of weeks asking if I want to catch up with her. I initially told her I was too busy, then the second time she asked I told her I'd love to but I'm not sure if I'm ready. She always apologises shortly after saying that she's sorry she is pushing me to catch up, it's just that she misses me. She once texted saying that she is sorry she's pushing, and that she is just being selfish. I want to catch up, but I know it's going to hurt. I want her back, and I think she just wants to be friends. But what if I don't catch up with her?? I want to be there for her, and if it helps her feel better to have me for a friend then I'd do it, but I just know it's going to take me backwards. Do you guys think I should meet up with her??? Link to post Share on other sites
atlous Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 If you love her I would no games just honesty. The honest ones always look good on the end. If you feel for her the way you say you do I think that she is just boucning around the issue because she is not sure how you feel and probably does not want to get hurt either. Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 i used to think that i wld remain friends with my ex because he wants it and i love him a lot so i want to do things his way.. but dat has really messed up my life.. i always get bouts of depression... and of course my situation is worse because he already has a new steady gf... i know i cannot be his friend because i still love him and ill never be satisfied with a frienship.. so having him in my life is a constant reminder of something i want so badly but cannot have... so u may think u want to be her friend if it makes her feel better... but u are only gonna get worse.. at the end of the day...i dun think it's worth it... if u remain friends u gotta deal with the possibility of her seeing someone new.. can u deal w that especially when u know u love her and still wan her back? Link to post Share on other sites
harvick29 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 I would suggest that you DON'T do it. I have been going through this crap with my ex for the last six months. I think that all they really want when they want to "catch up" is to know if they could still have you or not. They want to feel like they have control over you. I think you should tell her to forget it and then if she sincerely wants to work things out and come back, she will find you no matter what. Don't put yourself through the ups and downs of being friends with your ex. it is a very hard thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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