HitMeNow Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I feel like this might be a problem with me. I will usually build some really good attraction. I really don't wanna be too clingy so then invite a girl over for a beer say. We ll usually have an amazing time, maybe have sex. Then I ll send a txt a week later, to hang out. That is pretty much my template. NOTE: Even if I am really into the girl I will never contact more than once a week for fear of rushing things. Now I am curious as to how this would be perceived by a girl and what they expect. Do they actually expect for a guy to initiate texting every day, or once in a few days.... I'm lost. PS: I will also add up that I have lots of female friends (sometimes people think I'm a player :/) and pretty masculine (will not try to ever flatter girls, but rather be bold and honest), although overall I am a pretty down to earth guy. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Once a week is a good time frame (Dont listen to the women of this forum on this) You should be actually setting up the next date via a phone call... if you like her... if you just want to see her casually... texting is fine Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Once a week wouldn't be enough for me to know that you're keen. Seeing eachother once a week is fine, but I think talking a couple of times a week is good. Even if it's just a message to say 'Hey, hope you're having a great week. Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday!' I agree that setting up dates over the phone is the way to go- Don't get caught in the text trap. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Do listen to this woman... A week is long enough for her to feel sad you aren't calling her and then decide she's over it. I wouldn't wait that long. I'd think you'd just used me for sex and by the time you texted again I'd have written you off. But I don't date more than one person at once (never have) so maybe my experience isn't relevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 The increase of texting has played a major role in collapsed communication between the opposite sexes. Try sticking to the phone more so and once a week will automatically put you on the 'he isn't that interested' list to just about any woman. Whenever I was getting serious with anyone we communicated at the very least once a day. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to be a long thorough conversation everyday but just enough to show that you are interested in them. That isn't over doing it IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HitMeNow Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 This thread is going viral! VERY INTERESTING. Does the male always have to initiate?. I assume that if they're feeling that spark they would just text me / call me. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 JFC you wait a week after sex to TEXT her? not cool. I expect contact the day after. If it's not on the 2nd day, I'd assume you just got what you wanted. If you then text me a week later, I'd think "oh booty call. no thanks". no the man doesn't ALWAYS have to initiate, but after 1st time sex...yeah you need to. I'm all about taking things slowly...but not snail paced, which is what one text a week is. My bf and I took things slowly but we were still seeing one another 2 or 3x a week from the get-go. Our first date was a Saturday, our 3rd was the later Sunday, 8 days later. that seemed like good pacing...sat, weds, sunday. Going fast is hanging out 5x a week from the get-go. we were still in contact every day but light contact...dates every few days. It was equal contact, but yes I did wait after our first sexing for him to contact me, and it was the next day as it should be! Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Notice how all the women (and nice guys) say it's not right... and they would lose interest then tell you a story If a girl likes you enough for a 2nd date... she will respond after a week... if she's mad that it took you that long to set up another date... "GOOD" you stirred her emotions Contrary to the BS that they (women) spew it shows many things when you take things slow... You don't seek validation from them You have a life outside of dating (if you don't fake it)...life balance It sparks mystery because most guys text quickly and you stand out as "different" They like the anticipation... feel their emotions... wonder why this guy hasn't contacted her again, especially if they like you Any woman worth a crap and likes you will go out with you again if you wait a week and ask her out when you contact her again... if they don't you move on to the next one... no big loss The only reasons that they would choose the guys that go out more then once a week at the very beginning of dating Insecure, no life balance, rely on others for their emotional well being, desperate, no friends, etc This way you weed the bad ones out Edited January 16, 2013 by CptSaveAho 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Notice how all the women (and nice guys) say it's not right... and they would lose interest then tell you a story If a girl likes you enough for a 2nd date... she will respond after a week... if she's mad that it took you that long to set up another date... "GOOD" you stirred her emotions Contrary to the BS that they (women) spew it shows many things when you take things slow... You don't seek validation from them You have a life outside of dating (if you don't fake it)...life balance It sparks mystery because most guys text quickly and you stand out as "different" They like the anticipation... feel their emotions... wonder why this guy hasn't contacted her again, especially if they like you Any woman worth a crap and likes you will go out with you again if you wait a week and ask her out when you contact her again and notice that you are the only one on this thread who believes that one week later stuff? You need to work on your woman selector (or become interesting) if you believe that you have to purposely stir emotions to keep her interest. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Says the nice married guy that lives on a dating forum... with 25k posts... I don't settle for garbage Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Says the nice married guy that lives on a dating forum... with 25k posts... I don't settle for garbage Is that the best retaliation that you got? Neither do women who want nothing to do with a guy who waits a week to call. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 You think women are gods... agree with them... validate yourself to them Huge difference between you and I Did you marry from an LDR? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 You think women are gods... agree with them... validate yourself to them Huge difference between you and I Did you marry from an LDR? I agree with rational sane points of view....regardless of gender. You should know the answer being that you dug up a thread of mine from 2010 the other day. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Don't listen to CptSaveAho, he clearly has no idea about how women think. Any woman worth a crap doesn't have time for a guy who takes a week to get in touch with her. FACT! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HitMeNow Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 lol no flames plz. Everyone's entitled to their opinions. Noone is right or wrong. I honestly don't do it to stir their emotions (although I agree with most of what CptSaveAho said). I don't agree with the fact that any woman "not worth crap" will react badly to it. I think it has to do more with how people are used to. PS:What about later stages of dating. Suppose you are casually hooking up with someone? I usually still keep my distance. Call once or twice a week. Almost never text. Make plans. Go ahead with plans. Sometimes, though I feel like they're looking for that validation (maybe it's just in my head). Link to post Share on other sites
Author HitMeNow Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Any woman worth a crap doesn't have time for a guy who takes a week to get in touch with her. FACT! But why? If you really like this guy, what's wrong with him not trying to rush things? And will you actually say NO to his date proposal, although you did like him? Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) casually hooking up... there's no rules except dont get attached... if they get attached and you don't... let them go And will you actually say NO to his date proposal, although you did like him? I want to see what sideways no/yes women come up for this one Edited January 16, 2013 by CptSaveAho Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 But why? If you really like this guy, what's wrong with him not trying to rush things? And will you actually say NO to his date proposal, although you did like him? Because life's too short! I'd be very inclined to say no to a follow up date, and if I did say yes, I'd be very wary. Then if it was a week after that again, definite no. If you like someone, why wait a week to speak to them again? Link to post Share on other sites
NoClue2 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Hey HitMeNow, This is actually a perfect thread for me to respond to, haha. The guy that I had my rebound with waited 3 days to text me after we had sex the first time. I was pretty crushed and felt completely used. That was after 3 days. The way to go is, after having sex for the first time, text her the next day. I don't care what any MAN has to say here, from a woman's perspective, waiting a week is actually really insulting and would imply to me that not only are you not interested in me at all, but I am now in the category as a bootycall. Any woman, as far as I'm concerned, that would brush that off and be ok with it, either doesn't like YOU for anything more then a bootycall or is so desperate that she would actually stand to be treated that way. A text a week after having sex???? No. No. No. For me to ever sleep with a man again after that he would have to have been on a deserted island building a raft to find a payphone to come call me. You're not being clingy, you're being a gentlemen. You're letting her know that sex wasn't all you wanted and that you did enjoy it and have enough sense to take 2 seconds out of your busy life to think about her and show respect for what just occured between you two. If she liked you enough to have sex with you, then she's definitely not going to find it clingy or weird for you to text her. Honestly, if you like a girl (even if you're not sleeping with her), a text every couple of days is good. I'm the type where I like a text every day. Doesn't have to be a crazy, long conversation, just something like, "Hey, how's work? .... [instert stupid joke or something]". Lets me know that they're thinking about me. And I don't mean to toot my own horn here but I get alot of male attention and the men that I continue to talk to and give the time of day to are the ones who text me consistently (at least every couple days), try to see me when they can, and especially after we have sex, make sure to at least text me the next day!!! Like I mentioned above with rebound, after he didn't text me for 3 days when we had sex the first time, I was pretty pissed and probably overreacted to him not responding to me quick enough but my mindset was: onto the next one! And this prick is gonna hear what a douchebag he really is! And now he's out of my life because he was a slow idiot and didn't understand how to treat a woman after you have sex. And as a female, I don't have time for that. There are so many men out there that are more then willing to give me the attention and time that I deserve. So in closing, you need to text the next day and every couple days after that. Any normal woman will appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Because life's too short! I'd be very inclined to say no to a follow up date, and if I did say yes, I'd be very wary. Then if it was a week after that again, definite no. If you like someone, why wait a week to speak to them again? LOL she would say yes but I am wrong in my post and I have no idea what im talking about Women! Once a week is perfect for 3 weeks... then 2 dates a week after that Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 LOL she would say yes but I am wrong in my post and I have no idea what im talking about Women! Once a week is perfect for 3 weeks... then 2 dates a week after that Are you aware of what the word IF means? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Are you aware of what the word IF means? She agreed... its womanese for yes she would Women rationalize... self talk... talk themselves out of something... but do the opposite If you weren't a nice guy and listened to their words, you'd understand them She didnt say "NO" she projected it into the next week Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She agreed... its womanese for yes she would Women rationalize... self talk... talk themselves out of something... but do the opposite If you weren't a nice guy and listened to their words, you'd understand them She didnt say "NO" You are assuming things which seems to be a common thing among those who think like you. I will trust a woman's word over biased irrational thinking like yours. She didn't say yes either. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She didn't say yes either. Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The action of her thinking about it in the future... speaks louder then her not saying Yes or No ACTIONS....words Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Hey HitMeNow, This is actually a perfect thread for me to respond to, haha. The guy that I had my rebound with waited 3 days to text me after we had sex the first time. I was pretty crushed and felt completely used. OK your rebound or realistically, the guy you were using to get over your ex, used you? You poor thing:( Link to post Share on other sites
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