Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The action of her thinking about it in the future... speaks louder then her not saying Yes or No ACTIONS....words Assuming again. You can't predict what anyone would do in that situation....and what actions are you talking about? It has been nothing but talk here. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Notice how all the women (and nice guys) say it's not right... and they would lose interest then tell you a story If a girl likes you enough for a 2nd date... she will respond after a week... if she's mad that it took you that long to set up another date... "GOOD" you stirred her emotions Contrary to the BS that they (women) spew it shows many things when you take things slow... You don't seek validation from them You have a life outside of dating (if you don't fake it)...life balance It sparks mystery because most guys text quickly and you stand out as "different" They like the anticipation... feel their emotions... wonder why this guy hasn't contacted her again, especially if they like you Any woman worth a crap and likes you will go out with you again if you wait a week and ask her out when you contact her again... if they don't you move on to the next one... no big loss The only reasons that they would choose the guys that go out more then once a week at the very beginning of dating Insecure, no life balance, rely on others for their emotional well being, desperate, no friends, etc This way you weed the bad ones out Out of curiosity when you take it slow with texts and calls are you also taking slow on the physical front? By what date do you expect/go for sex? If you don't mind my asking:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Assuming again. You can't predict what anyone would do in that situation. Im not predicting... if she doesnt want to date him again... he doesnt lose anything... she's needy insecure and wants quick dates... if he wants a stable mature relationship....he wins because he disqualified a bad applee... she even rationalized it herself She wants instant gratification Because life's too short! to me this isnt foxhole... long term relationship material... there's no fun... she's a quick in and out type of girl Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Out of curiosity when you take it slow with texts and calls are you also taking slow on the physical front? By what date do you expect/go for sex? If you don't mind my asking:rolleyes: I call once a week... my purpose of the call is to set up the date... thats it... light touches first date kiss second date full carnal knowledge third date im looking for foxhole material... not pump and dumps... if you just want fun/sex... do whatever you want... it doesnt matter Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Im not predicting... if she doesnt want to date him again... he doesnt lose anything... she's needy insecure and wants quick dates... if he wants a stable mature relationship....he wins because he disqualified a bad applee... she even rationalized it herself Not going to be too many stable relationships where there is a lack of interest by waiting an entire week to communicate. A bad apple can also be defined as someone who waits that long to communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
NoClue2 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 SJC2008, I wasn't using him at all. I actually really liked him which is why I felt so used. I told him from the start that I wasn't using him to get over my ex, that I genuinely had feelings for him and that I didn't want to sleep with him until I was sure he wasn't gonna screw me over. Which he ended up doing. I only refer to him as my rebound because it's easier then differentiating between the 2 guys I was talking about in my original post which is where HitMeNow had asked me to respond to this post. But thanks for being condescending. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I call once a week... my purpose of the call is to set up the date... thats it... light touches first date kiss second date full carnal knowledge third date im looking for foxhole material... not pump and dumps... if you just want fun/sex... do whatever you want... it doesnt matter Ok thanks, just trying to gauge your dating philosphy if you will! Not familiar with the bold term but if it is sex, why do you have to have sex on the 3rd date if you're looking for something more? That's not taking it slow IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
sydneysider1978 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well if it's working for you, carry on... But I would need more contact than that just to feel comfortable enough with a new guy to consider a sleep over. If he didn't get in contact for a week after the first time, I would think he was just looking for a hook up and wouldn't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Ok thanks, just trying to gauge your dating philosphy if you will! Not familiar with the bold term but if it is sex, why do you have to have sex on the 3rd date if you're looking for something more? That's not taking it slow IMO. By today's standards... third date is REALLY SLOW... I can usually get laid on the first date without even trying... the last girl I was out with was jacking off her corona bottle before dinner was over with... Men need to push physical contact as signs of liking a girl... talk is cheap... guys speak with actions... Look at all the posts on the forum where guys talk about where a relationship is going on the first date... it goes no where... if guys would shut up... touch a girl... hold her hand... make her feel comfortable... I assure you most girls would melt. Guys also need to SLOW down... and lead the pace of the relationship at a slower speed... I assure you women might complain on the outside, they will respect you on the inside ------------------------- Example of this Ryan Gosslin in Gangster Squad... watch him he's 100% action little talk 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HitMeNow Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 SJC2008, I wasn't using him at all. I actually really liked him which is why I felt so used. I told him from the start that I wasn't using him to get over my ex, that I genuinely had feelings for him and that I didn't want to sleep with him until I was sure he wasn't gonna screw me over. Which he ended up doing. I only refer to him as my rebound because it's easier then differentiating between the 2 guys I was talking about in my original post which is where HitMeNow had asked me to respond to this post. But thanks for being condescending. NoClue, but my question really is... If You wanted to talk to him and had feelings for him, bla bla bla. Why the **** didn't you text him or something. I mean the phone goes both ways. Also did these feelings vanish in just a week. Also lastly. Did this guy make you feel like he wanted you? You know little things like cuddling, hugging, showing that he cares? Whenever I have a "date", I really show the girl that I care about her (I think). You guys are all making me feel like an ass for calling girls once a week just to make plans. I genuinely never thought it was a big deal and thought contacting more often would be an attraction killer. Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Any woman worth a crap and likes you will go out with you again if you wait a week and ask her out when you contact her again... if they don't you move on to the next one... no big loss The only reasons that they would choose the guys that go out more then once a week at the very beginning of dating Insecure, no life balance, rely on others for their emotional well being, desperate, no friends, etc This way you weed the bad ones out Any woman worth a crap will have friends, work, and hobbies that keep her busy. So for her to give you any of her time is a gift (and she should consider your time with her a gift in return). An insecure, desperate woman will cling to anyone who gives her any crumbs of interest. A secure woman won't waste her time with a guy who doesn't seem excited to get to know her. While she may be quite happy with only seeing you once a week, most women are going to want a call a few days after the date to set up the next one. That shows you're genuinely interested in her, but still gives her plenty of time to think of you and get excited for your next date. Sure, if you wait a week to call after the first date she may give you another shot, but once she realizes this is a pattern with you a really secure woman will chose to spend her energy and limited time on a more promising man. Also, social custom (in the US at least) dictates that a man call a woman within a day (or two, at most) after the first time they have sex. Waiting a week before calling her after you first have sex is sending a very loud message; think if that's the message you want to send. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoClue2 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 NoClue, but my question really is... If You wanted to talk to him and had feelings for him, bla bla bla. Why the **** didn't you text him or something. I mean the phone goes both ways. Also did these feelings vanish in just a week. Also lastly. Did this guy make you feel like he wanted you? You know little things like cuddling, hugging, showing that he cares? Whenever I have a "date", I really show the girl that I care about her (I think). You guys are all making me feel like an ass for calling girls once a week just to make plans. I genuinely never thought it was a big deal and thought contacting more often would be an attraction killer. I did text him in the beginning. Most of the time I did because our mutual friends had told me he was shy with women so I did make that effort. And no, my feelings didn't vanish for him in a week. I would probably still give him another shot but as of now, he hasn't made any sort of effort to reassure me I wasn't a bootycall and that I wasn't a second option for him. And yes, he made me feel really wanted. We didn't have sex the first 4x we were together and we just kissed and cuddled and laid in bed the whole day and just watched movies with his arm around me. It made me fall for him and feel like he wanted more then just to get in my pants. That's why it pissed me off soooo bad that when we did finally have sex that he waited 3 days to get in touch with me!!! And I'm sorry, but there's no chance in hell that after the first time we have sex, I am going to text a man! That to me would SCREAM desperation coming from a woman. I even told this guy, because I knew he was "slow" with women (like you - in terms of contacting them), that he had to get in touch with me first after having sex. Which he did, 3 days later. And I was choked. Link to post Share on other sites
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