Chi townD Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Because apparently they have some stupid rules. Such as one I heard that the other person has to approve who they have sex with. But in this case, he wanted to have other women involved in their swinging, but wouldn't let her bring in other men. So if he, in the swinging lifestyle, is allowed to bring in whatever women he wants, but denies her the same, then she should be allowed to be with another man and he has nothing to say about it. Honestly, the guy is a pig with a big double standard. He has no right to complain about what she did. He is worse. See that's what's the problem with swinging; WAY too many gray area's. The point is, he proposed that they bring other women in the bedroom, she had full knowledge of this and agreed (whether relucantly or not). Therefore, you can't really catagorize what they did in their swinging lifestyle as cheating. However, in her case, she did it behind his back. He had no knowledge of it. Thus, I would catagorize that as cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 She was into swinging before she met him. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 She was into swinging before she met him. How does that change the fact that he will take every opportunity to bring other women into the mix, but won't allow her to bring in other men? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 How does that change the fact that he will take every opportunity to bring other women into the mix, but won't allow her to bring in other men? Again, gray area. If she wasn't happy with the situation with their swinging choices. She could have voiced, "Hey, this isn't fair. I don't want you to play if I can't either." She had every right to express that to her man. Apparently, that's the biggest part of swinging couples. Communication. If the they couldn't come to an agreement, then it just doesn't happen. At least, that's what I'm to understand with swinging couples. But, I do agree, the guy is very selfish. But, she knew about it and allowed it to happen. The dude had no idea that she was seeing someone in secret. That's where the difference is. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Again, gray area. If she wasn't happy with the situation with their swinging choices. She could have voiced, "Hey, this isn't fair. I don't want you to play if I can't either." She had every right to express that to her man. I agree. But this is swinging. She shouldn't have to express it to him. She simply should get it from another man if she wishes. Either you allow your sig. other to F other people, or you don't. If he won't entertain bringing a man into the mix of a swinging marriage/relationship, then she is well within her rights to do it on her own. And no, I absolutely do NOT agree with the swinging lifestyle and would never partake. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I agree. But this is swinging. She shouldn't have to express it to him. She simply should get it from another man if she wishes. Either you allow your sig. other to F other people, or you don't. If he won't entertain bringing a man into the mix of a swinging marriage/relationship, then she is well within her rights to do it on her own. And no, I absolutely do NOT agree with the swinging lifestyle and would never partake. Oh, neither would I. Stats show that the majority of couples that enter into the swinging lifestyle usually end up in two ways within seven years and thats out of the lifestyle all together and in some serious counseling or divorced. But, there are some that are okay with it as long as they follow the set boundries. And ALL of them have some sort of boundries set up. Whether it be that they won't swing with close family friends, won't swing without the consent of the other, won't do anything unless they're in the same room, no kissing the swing partner. No don't something with someone you would do with your husband or wife.....whatever...point is they talk before it happens. And come to an agreement and if they hit a wall and can't agree, then it doesn't happen. Swinging is supposed to be something you do together. And.....she didn't. So, it's a very thin line on what's right and what's wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Wonderful Marvelous Simply Marvelous Great Just great Fantastic Superb Wa Hoo Beautiful Instead of pointing out how a marriage is for two not three. People are arguing the correct way to have threesomes. Doing this when there is a never ending shortage of new members coming onboard here telling how their marriage is on the rocks and swinging was involved. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 I don't know where else to go or who else to turn to. I have tried getting advice from others, and I can't. All I get is judged. I'm tired of being judged. So please, no judging. Advice only please... I am currently living with my boyfriend of almost 5 years. Together, we have raised my 3 1/2 year old daughter from an affair, and now about to have a child of our own. I love him more than any man on earth, but I haven't been the best girlfriend. Like I said before, my first child was from an affair. This child I'm pregnant with is not, but I did have another affair when I was 5 months along (I am currently 7 months). I'm not proud of it. I'm very ashamed. I have been flooded with guilt. And I tried to forget that it happened, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and didn't tell him. How he found out sucks. He was looking through my email trying to find something from a friend of ours, and found a conversation between myself and the man I had an affair with. I didn't delete the emails, which was a big mistake. So of course, he woke me up and asked me about it. I admitted it, and nothing has been the same. We fought for two days, he doesn't say I love you anymore, there is hardly any passion, and he keeps saying that he doesn't know if he could ever trust me again. When we finally stopped fighting, I thought things went back to normal. But, apparently, while at work, he has been having thoughts of "Should I find someone better?", "Do I deserve better?", and looking at other girls, and it hurts. I found this out a few days ago. I have been really depressed since. Now the reason for what I did.. For a good while, we have gotten into swinging with other girls. I'm guessing jealousy played a part in my reason, because only girls were allowed in the play, but guys weren't. He has a problem with other men being involved. So he got to experience the new pleasure, and I really didn't. Another reason is loneliness. He started playing video games again right after I got pregnant. He spent more time on them than with me. I would beg him to pay attention to me, and he would beg to play his games. I was so frustrated for attention, both emotional and sexual, that I looked for it elsewhere. I really wish I hadn't. And, as of two days ago, he has been thinking of inviting a girl over while I am home and possibly having me stay in another room while he has sex with her in our bed. He said that would be his way of getting revenge. I have tried to do everything right since I cheated. I haven't talked to any strange guys or asked to meet up with them for sex (the only guys I talk to are my best friends from high school), I haven't browsed, I haven't had sex with anyone else, I have kept myself busy with other things like setting up the baby's room, I have been completely honest about everything I do and who I talk to, I don't delete my emails, I let him look through my email, phone, and facebook... I want him and only him. I want things back to the way they were before, I want to hear him say I love you again, I want the passion back, I want the trust back, I want to go one day without crying.. I am so determined to fix it, but he acts like he doesn't want to.. Please help me!!!!!! Ten characters Link to post Share on other sites
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