Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 If you left your MM and met a new guy would you feel you owe the MM any closure. Of course not. You would move on and go NC. Then don't expect it from his end. No one is owed closure. In a perfect world yes but its not how relationships work. Especially affairs. Why would you think an OW would not owe the MM closure? It's an R. People end them all the time and the other participants should expect and receive some sort of closure. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 He isn't what you stole. Her dignity and her right to decide her own future is what you stole, and that wasn't his to give. And you knew that. That's what it means to say its wrong to be in secret. If e gave himself you're welcome to that, as long as you for steal from her- all you had to do was speak to her since you knew he wouldn't. But then you would have had to face what he really was, doubt you'd have wanted him then. It may not have been his to give but it was his to protect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fooled2manyX Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 It's a discussion board, granted. But I noticed at this site, there are multiple forums. This one being for the OW/OM. I didn't post my threads in the Infidelity forum. Anyone is free to post. Yes. But newsflash.... My threads were are not on here seeking morality lessons. I know what I did. I know affairs are wrong. My threads were stating I am hurt that I was not told it was over and he was not coming back. I figured it out by sitting here for weeks. I am hurt and was looking for some insight. But if some think that means the repetitive droan of "affairs are wrong. you stole another woman's husband. you deserve nothing... you should have been left in the dark because you deserve that" Blah Blah Blah. Listen. I get what some of you are saying. All I am saying in return is you are spending a lot of time writing about what is known. What I know. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Are affairs wrong... yes. But again, to those of you who feel the need to push & tell me I was not owed a goodbye and closure to this chapter.. no matter what you say or think, it's wrong. In my situation it's wrong. I have spoken to many people (I don't mean in this vitual place here, but in the real world) and married or not, single, male, female, cheated on themselves... they all said "He should have told you." It doesn't get any more complicated than that. For those of you have been supportive to me in this time, in the pain from not hearing anything, I thank you. But for those of you who are on the 30th post about how & why affairs are wrong...... well...... (we know) Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 i posted earlier that it was not nice of him to leave you hangin and i was a bs... There is actually another poster (OW) around here who is upset about the communications she DID get from her exMM and she was (I hate using the word complaining but she was) complaining she didn't get more, wanted more, deserved more etc... I went so far as to let her know to read Your thread hear and kind of defended you in your pain. I REALLY want you to feel better* Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 i posted earlier that it was not nice of him to leave you hangin and i was a bs... There is actually another poster (OW) around here who is upset about the communications she DID get from her exMM and she was (I hate using the word complaining but she was) complaining she didn't get more, wanted more, deserved more etc... I went so far as to let her know to read Your thread hear and kind of defended you in your pain. I REALLY want you to feel better* CIH. It was actually eaglew and she wasn't talking about not having enough closure as much as about her D and dealing with his absence. If I recall she didn't really complain about him not contacting the D as much as wanted to talk about the end to that R and dealing with her Ds missing him. I remember it so well because your words were so kind to her and I believe I 'liked' your post. Sorry if I'm mistaken! I'll put in my apology now if in case I'm wrong about her OP. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Summer Breeze; You are So correct! my oops... Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 So guys, question around... how would you like to suddenly find out your MM is having an affair with someone else above of the one that he has with you... but you find it in your heart to forgive him... he is such a good guy... (it was probably the stress his wife puts him in who drove him that road!!!)... but he wants to go and say to little poor new affair that he is gone for good.. that he won't come anymore to her... Would you like that? Or would you like him to just stop it and that he would not speak or she her anymore? Please refrain from quoting me when your comment is not in direct response to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Summer Breeze; You are So correct! my oops... No oops CIH. Like I said you were lovely to her and that's what I remembered most. Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 What did you say? You need only read the post you quoted unnecessarily. Link to post Share on other sites
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