Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yes but he found you good looking which you can infer from the kiss. So even if you were just friends you'd think you wouldn't go back to his place a lone. Also a friend would speak up and say "WhAT ARE YOU DOING WHY WOULD YOU THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX?" and be all confused. They wouldn't just go with it. What state do you live in Choco? Learn to say no! I advise you don't go back to this guys place again or hang out with him anymore. Why do you even want to be friends with him. I'd be disgusted if some one I wasn't into was making moves on me. Thank u. God forbid if I ever go to his place again. Btw Im not from us I did learn to say no after all this. Link to post Share on other sites
HitMeNow Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Thank u. God forbid if I ever go to his place again. Btw Im not from us I did learn to say no after all this. Where you from? Also how did you manage to meet a 10 years older dude at a university gathering and play XBOX with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 People like the OP are exactly the reason why dating/relationships are so hard in the era we now live in. Reading stuff like this always reminds me that I literally have won the lotto finding the girl I have now. Seriously? You really cant please everyone. If I told him directly that I didn't want him, You would be calling me cruel and heartless. And if I was scared to hurt his feelings and tried to show him that I wasn't interested in him in a kind and subtle way, again you would be calling me cruel and heartless. I'm sorry but either way, you can't conclude that I'm a bad gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Where you from? Also how did you manage to meet a 10 years older dude at a university gathering and play XBOX with him? Our uni has regular gatherings and the grads attend it. It's usually a very warm environment. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 So, OP, what are next steps? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 So, OP, what are next steps? Next we meet, I will tell him that I do not want a relationship with him. And i will not go to his place. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 How did she let you know that you were just a friend? She told me, repeatedly. Even though she had self-esteem issues, she still made it clear that she only wanted to be friends with me Even though we hung out many times, she turned down any invites that were obvious dates. One time after spending the day together, I was going to give her a hug and she gave me a stiff arm to the chest. She had made it obvious to me that she thought of me only as a friend. And that she would not appreciate any intimate actions from me. Basically I knew that if I tried to kiss her without any go ahead signals from her, she would slap me, or worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 If the sex was good she would have made him A FWB being the sex was bad shes not attracted. Nothing is in it for the OP. OP needs to simply say i don't think were compatible No need to friend zone this guy simply just end it. If you see him out and about be short in talk move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 If the sex was good she would have made him A FWB being the sex was bad shes not attracted. Nothing is in it for the OP. OP needs to simply say i don't think were compatible No need to friend zone this guy simply just end it. If you see him out and about be short in talk move on. When I met him, I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone. I never wanted a relationship with him in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 When I met him, I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone. I never wanted a relationship with him in the first place. Then why did you let this man thrust his penis In and out of your vagina ? Link to post Share on other sites
HitMeNow Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 When I met him, I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone. I never wanted a relationship with him in the first place. Mind me asking why weren't you? Also are you seeing anyone else besides him? If not then it might make sense to this guy that - you're the only girl in his life. - he's the only guy in yours. - a relationship happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Mind me asking why weren't you? Also are you seeing anyone else besides him? If not then it might make sense to this guy that - you're the only girl in his life. - he's the only guy in yours. - a relationship happens. In fact I'm beginning a new relationship with someone else. And everything is so perfect. That's why I want to end this "relationship". Link to post Share on other sites
HitMeNow Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 In fact I'm beginning a new relationship with someone else. And everything is so perfect. That's why I want to end this "relationship". Ouch... does the other guy know that you got penetrated by a 34 year old? Link to post Share on other sites
sydneysider1978 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I don't need any benefit from him. Just to make things clear. I decline guys who are into me (but whom I'm not into) in a kind way (i say i dont have time, or dont return their calls, etc. ) and they understand that i am not into them. But this guy is different. Next time I'll be straight with this kind if guys. Hun- this is where you're really, really wrong. Generally, men are bad on picking up subtle signals. There have been so many threads on here that go something like "we had two dates, we didn't kiss but she said she might like to meet up again, now she hasn't returned any of my 20 phone calls in the past two weeks, why is she giving me mixed signals?" Lots of women have been brought up to be "nice" and non-confrontational, this together with lots of men being particularly dense at subtle social situations is a disaster. If a guy is keen and you say you're busy, when you really mean that you're not interested means that he'll try again. Not responding to a phone call means that he'll be in limbo for a couple of days, waiting for your call until he tries again (maybe she didn't see the message? maybe she's following the Rules! There is still hope!) Being so indirect simply confuses things and PROLONGS their hurt. (kinda like not putting down a really sick animal in pain.. better to do the kind thing quickly) For both your love life and probably your professional life, you need to get better as saying no... There are books on this stuff. But as to your situation, it's probably best that you don't mention you've been hating dating him. Just a simple, thanks for the lovely dates but I don't see this going anywhere and I think we should stop right now. You don't have to give him any explanation. I think in your case, it wouldn't be terrible to do this by text or email, I think you'd have a hard time doing it in person. Rip the plaster off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Then why did you let this man thrust his penis In and out of your vagina ? I explained how it happened above. Guys please do not pursue a woman if 1. she's not answering your calls/ messages. 2. She's always finding excuses and declining your requests. Don't be pushy. Don't say this: "you don't even have 10 minutes for dinner? " "I bet you have 5 minutes" "Dont worry I will only meet you for an hour" 3. If she's avoiding a kiss/giving you the cheek/ or pushes you away/ not kissing back during a kiss. Some Women may have difficulties in saying some things straight to your face , not to break your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Hun- this is where you're really, really wrong. Generally, men are bad on picking up subtle signals. There have been so many threads on here that go something like "we had two dates, we didn't kiss but she said she might like to meet up again, now she hasn't returned any of my 20 phone calls in the past two weeks, why is she giving me mixed signals?" Lots of women have been brought up to be "nice" and non-confrontational, this together with lots of men being particularly dense at subtle social situations is a disaster. If a guy is keen and you say you're busy, when you really mean that you're not interested means that he'll try again. Not responding to a phone call means that he'll be in limbo for a couple of days, waiting for your call until he tries again (maybe she didn't see the message? maybe she's following the Rules! There is still hope!) Being so indirect simply confuses things and PROLONGS their hurt. (kinda like not putting down a really sick animal in pain.. better to do the kind thing quickly) For both your love life and probably your professional life, you need to get better as saying no... There are books on this stuff. But as to your situation, it's probably best that you don't mention you've been hating dating him. Just a simple, thanks for the lovely dates but I don't see this going anywhere and I think we should stop right now. You don't have to give him any explanation. I think in your case, it wouldn't be terrible to do this by text or email, I think you'd have a hard time doing it in person. Rip the plaster off. Thank you so much! You really understand my situation. I still can't believe how men can't pick up those subtle signs. Anyways thank you again so so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chocolatecat Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Ouch... does the other guy know that you got penetrated by a 34 year old? That happened before my relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Thank you so much! You really understand my situation. I still can't believe how men can't pick up those subtle signs. Anyways thank you again so so much! That's how men are. You need to be direct with us, or we will not understand. And you already know what happens when you aren't direct. I really do hope you learned something from this incident. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 If a guy is keen and you say you're busy, when you really mean that you're not interested means that he'll try again. Not responding to a phone call means that he'll be in limbo for a couple of days, waiting for your call until he tries again (maybe she didn't see the message? maybe she's following the Rules! There is still hope!) Being so indirect simply confuses things and PROLONGS their hurt. (kinda like not putting down a really sick animal in pain.. better to do the kind thing quickly) For both your love life and probably your professional life, you need to get better as saying no... There are books on this stuff. I would add to this don't judge men too harshly for this "density". For a man to find a date he has to deal with more rejection than acceptance. That is true of any man, no matter how good looking, rich or powerful. He will hear lots of NO. This has probably been true whenever men were expected to do all the approaching. Men have evolved to keep at it until they get a yes and not give up to easily. The men who didn't, their genes died out. But as to your situation, it's probably best that you don't mention you've been hating dating him. Just a simple, thanks for the lovely dates but I don't see this going anywhere and I think we should stop right now. You don't have to give him any explanation. I think in your case, it wouldn't be terrible to do this by text or email, I think you'd have a hard time doing it in person. Rip the plaster off. Say the above. Don't insult the man's intelligence by trying to minimize your little dating relationship to just "meetings". Don't make him feel and sound like a rapist. Just say you gave it a shot and it isn't working for you. Most mature men will understand this. Most mature, single men, are just happy to get a legit shot at dating the woman until they find a good fit. For as much grief as you've gotten here, even from me, at least you gave him a real chance. We hear about so many one date and never again's here it's depressing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 He sounds like a Male Virgin Beta. He deserves what he gets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 He sounds like a Male Virgin Beta. He deserves what he gets. He's not a virgin anymore if he was to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 He sounds like a Male Virgin Beta. He deserves what he gets. pooon really Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 dude you could have simply CONTINUED ignoring him. This story is really disturbing. I kinda feel bad for him even though he obviously lacks the intelligence to pick up on social cues...then again you fked him so he probably thinks he was doing it right all along. Oy. Have some self-respect and ffs just freakin call him and end it. God. It's not that hard. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 He sounds like a Male Virgin Beta. He deserves what he gets. Um he got laid. although OP if you really are soooooo kind and he IS practically a virgin then you should keep giving him sex. it would be the kind thing to do maybe? I know you've mentioned how kind you are 4789307489301 times. Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 dude you could have simply CONTINUED ignoring him. This story is really disturbing. I kinda feel bad for him even though he obviously lacks the intelligence to pick up on social cues...then again you fked him so he probably thinks he was doing it right all along. Oy. Have some self-respect and ffs just freakin call him and end it. God. It's not that hard. Social cues " i dont like you " = " goahead penetrate me " 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts