Jay15 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) So my girlfriend went to the club with her friends. Later on that night, she started to grind with her guy friend for couple of hours. She said she knew what she was doing, but she felt bad afterward. She said there was no emotions going on. I don't know the guy, but I want know people opinions grinding. Edited January 17, 2013 by Jay15 typo Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Well, I'm speculating that she confessed it to you. Therefore, she feels guilty. Guilty because she was grinding on some dude. Therefore, the act of grindinig on a guy or a guy on a girl IS sexually charged. PLUS!! If she was out at the club, there's a strong possibility that someone that knows the two of you saw her on the dance floor and was afraid that it would come back to you. Therefore, her actions where disrespecting your relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 How do you think she would feel if you went to a strip club and got a 10 minute lap dance (with possible touching and nudity)? You need to ask yourself that. To me it is cheating. I would not want my girl friend grinding on some random dude at a club. So yes, I consider grinding cheating... also, generally when someone cheats they tell partial truths. Meaning they tell you a little bit about what has happened to try to lessen the impact or their part in it... in actuallity your girl friend could have made out with this guy, blown him, or had full blown intercourse with him. I'd have a serious talk with her, and try to find the whole truth. Or just leave. If she is willingly able to grind a random friend, what makes you think next time she will not be willingly able to put his penis in her mouth or in between her legs? This is a slippery slope of behavior. I'd run. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'd consider it cheating and think about dumping her. Not as bad as kissing him or more physical stuff... certainly bad though. I'd make her stop hanging out with this guy too if I was going to even think about staying with her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay15 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Well, I'm speculating that she confessed it to you. Therefore, she feels guilty. Guilty because she was grinding on some dude. Therefore, the act of grindinig on a guy or a guy on a girl IS sexually charged. PLUS!! If she was out at the club, there's a strong possibility that someone that knows the two of you saw her on the dance floor and was afraid that it would come back to you. Therefore, her actions where disrespecting your relationship. thank you for your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 If her behavior would have been displeasurable to/inappropriate in front of you, and she did it without your knowledge/consent, then it's cheating, using the generally accepted LS version of what cheating is. 'Grinding' on someone, amongst other similar behaviors, stems from sensations the brain interprets as desirable and pleasurable, hence emotions are being felt, impelling the continuation of the behavior. This of course presumes she isn't providing/engaging in pleasure as a business. Be aware that people can/will seek to minimize/excuse/rationalize such behaviors. It's up to you how you resolve such dynamics. Would she mind you grinding on a female friend for a couple of hours, if you asserted there were no emotions? Perhaps that's a meaningful conversation to have. Good luck. Welcome to LS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay15 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 How do you think she would feel if you went to a strip club and got a 10 minute lap dance (with possible touching and nudity)? You need to ask yourself that. To me it is cheating. I would not want my girl friend grinding on some random dude at a club. So yes, I consider grinding cheating... also, generally when someone cheats they tell partial truths. Meaning they tell you a little bit about what has happened to try to lessen the impact or their part in it... in actuallity your girl friend could have made out with this guy, blown him, or had full blown intercourse with him. I'd have a serious talk with her, and try to find the whole truth. Or just leave. If she is willingly able to grind a random friend, what makes you think next time she will not be willingly able to put his penis in her mouth or in between her legs? This is a slippery slope of behavior. I'd run. I will have a seriously talk with her about this. Thank you for your time and advice Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay15 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'd consider it cheating and think about dumping her. Not as bad as kissing him or more physical stuff... certainly bad though. I'd make her stop hanging out with this guy too if I was going to even think about staying with her. I ask her to stop hanging out and text with him. but I guess they have the some classes together. Thank you for your opinion Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay15 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 If her behavior would have been displeasurable to/inappropriate in front of you, and she did it without your knowledge/consent, then it's cheating, using the generally accepted LS version of what cheating is. 'Grinding' on someone, amongst other similar behaviors, stems from sensations the brain interprets as desirable and pleasurable, hence emotions are being felt, impelling the continuation of the behavior. This of course presumes she isn't providing/engaging in pleasure as a business. Be aware that people can/will seek to minimize/excuse/rationalize such behaviors. It's up to you how you resolve such dynamics. Would she mind you grinding on a female friend for a couple of hours, if you asserted there were no emotions? Perhaps that's a meaningful conversation to have. Good luck. Welcome to LS thank you! this got me thinking Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Johnson Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 I'd consider it cheating and think about dumping her. Not as bad as kissing him or more physical stuff... certainly bad though. I'd make her stop hanging out with this guy too if I was going to even think about staying with her. Exactly. I tend to notice many women have their boyfriends/husbands but also have another male they're emotionally attached and most likely physically attracted to, and label them as just a "guy friend." That's usually code word for F-Buddy. One has to wonder if she "hangs out" with this "guy friend" at the club a lot. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 It is cheating, disrespectful. She wouldbe upset if you went out alone and did the same. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Don't bother trying to get her to see it from your side with the ol' "what if I did..." scenario. It's virtually useless. Unless she's a total idiot, she's capable of coming to that question on her own. Here is my advice to you. Take it, reject it, makes no difference to me. Get some of your buddies together and go to a strip club. Buy yourself a couple of lap dances, then go home and tell her all about it. Be sure and post the results. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sayyes19 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Don't bother trying to get her to see it from your side with the ol' "what if I did..." scenario. It's virtually useless. Unless she's a total idiot, she's capable of coming to that question on her own. Here is my advice to you. Take it, reject it, makes no difference to me. Get some of your buddies together and go to a strip club. Buy yourself a couple of lap dances, then go home and tell her all about it. Be sure and post the results. I totally agree. This is the only way you will get through to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 She did more than grind. She's giving you the whole "trickle truth". The writing is on the wall. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Not really but it's a type of disrespect in a relationship. You might want to talk to her and establish the boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Don't bother trying to get her to see it from your side with the ol' "what if I did..." scenario. It's virtually useless. Unless she's a total idiot, she's capable of coming to that question on her own. Here is my advice to you. Take it, reject it, makes no difference to me. Get some of your buddies together and go to a strip club. Buy yourself a couple of lap dances, then go home and tell her all about it. Be sure and post the results.Yeah, sounds like a good idea. If she gets upset about it, then you can rub it in her face about her grinding with another guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 So my girlfriend went to the club with her friends. Later on that night, she started to grind with her guy friend for couple of hours. She said she knew what she was doing, but she felt bad afterward. She said there was no emotions going on. I don't know the guy, but I want know people opinions grinding. grinding is cheating because most of the time the guy gets aroused,grinding goes straight to the penis and dont forget the bump......the little brain takes over and yes its cheating.... arousing a guy by physical action or even flirting with suggestive talk to me is cheating.....not really appropriate for a loving girlfriend to get another guy hard aka cockteasing...thats probably not appropriate to say ...so ill say chicken humping.....................deb Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Rubbing her gentitals against a guy gets some girls very horny, For most girls who are into the grinding: they would not stop the guy from rubbing her genitals. If she enjoyed it and got turned on by it, she would have wanted him to touch her. I can guarantee. Unless I am not horny, I would want a guy I am grinding with to touch me down there..... And most guys, once they grind, will almost always go in for the touch..... He most definately would have rubbed her and possibly put his hand down her pants. ....I would leave my boyfriend if he did this to a girl at a club. Or anywher else for that matter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 It's cheating, listen to leigh and carhill. I'll also add, doing this with a guy who she has classes with also shows lack of common sense. You don't poop in the same place you eat, even animals at the zoo know this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 OP, my advice would be to be true to your style. If 'getting her back', meaning engaging in a substantially equivalent act to 'teach' her is your style, do that. See how it goes. Some relationships function well at that level. If going to a strip club is normal behavior for you in such situations, as going to bars with male friends apparently is for her, don't change it. If other, other. Be true to yourself. You're the person who lives in that skin hopefully for many more decades. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) Did she orgasm from this? Edited January 21, 2013 by mitchell Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Did she orgasm from this? Inappropriate question. Yes or no she was wrong to go out and grind. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 It may be innocent, it may be a big red flag. Innocent if she loves to dance and the guy loves to dance and they are good friends - especially considering that the guy is gay. Best fun I ever had was with gay friends in gay club, incidentally! **I love dancing, I dance salsa, merengue, bachata and I enjoy being sensual and having fun. I will dance with a 18 years old hottie and you can bet your money I'll dance with a 60 years old fatty too, if he knows how to make me spin.** Big red flag is she's more into entertaining and a flirt, if she has slippery eyes ... you know what I mean. It's not as bad as it looks, especially if she was drunk, IMHO, but I'd def have a serious talk and ask if she's serious about your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Even though it's practically the functional equivalent of dry humping, it's not cheating because they both had clothes on ~Idiot/Liberal/Fool Logic I feel for ya man...I've had to deal with bullcrap like this when I was younger. I am about to give you GOLDEN advice but you probably won't take it. Just drop her like a bad habit....be done with her. 9 times out of 10 any woman who blatantly disrespects you like this won't hesitate to do it again. And further, she is also likely an attention whore which only leads to more problems. Take this red flag the universe has given you and RUN not walk away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 ]How do you think she would feel if you went to a strip club and got a 10 minute lap dance[/b] (with possible touching and nudity)? You need to ask yourself that. To me it is cheating. I would not want my girl friend grinding on some random dude at a club. So yes' date=' I consider grinding cheating... also, generally when someone cheats they tell partial truths. [/quote'] Many men dont consider a lap dance cheating Really the men who post in this forum do not represent men in real life I need to track down some of you and date you, because I dont meet men like this out in the real world Link to post Share on other sites
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