chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 A lapdance is different...One person is enjoying it and the other person is doing a job. Lol. Like if a couple is getting married and the men go to strip club and the women go to a male revue, both will have grinding/lap dances, but neither are cheating because of the situation. HOWEVER, two willing adults grinding on another is different. Example...Just turn it around...How would your girlfriend feel if you were at a club and some hot chick was grinding on your crotch? I can GUARANTEE she'd be flipping out. Textbook woman trick...act all innocent and surprised at why you are mad, but if she was in your shoes, she'd of been SPAZZING. Book it. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Depends on your culture and background. I personally don't see it as cheating. However her feeling guilty is good enough indication to see that it was wrong for your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I have been the other guy in this case, and yea it's cheating in my eyes, I was pissed when I found out she had a BF later. And no, she didn't see grinding and getting felt up as cheating. Also had no problem taking me back to her hotel room either, and even sleeping in the same bed. Heck i'd say 99% chance I could of had sex with her if I wanted to, thankfully I found out first before anything real happened and left. I would dump a girl instantly if she did something like that with a random guy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 A lapdance is different...One person is enjoying it and the other person is doing a job. Lol. Like if a couple is getting married and the men go to strip club and the women go to a male revue, both will have grinding/lap dances, but neither are cheating because of the situation. HOWEVER, two willing adults grinding on another is different. Example...Just turn it around...How would your girlfriend feel if you were at a club and some hot chick was grinding on your crotch? I can GUARANTEE she'd be flipping out. Textbook woman trick...act all innocent and surprised at why you are mad, but if she was in your shoes, she'd of been SPAZZING. Book it. But you are enjoying it...that is cheating. I dont think a stripper who has a bf who does HER JOB is cheating- she most likely isnt enjoying it and is thinking about money the entire time while acting Another typical male example of being selfish and expecting the opposite from women Very few women go to male avenues...that is a really poor example you used. Very men will have to deal with their gf/fiancee/wife going to a male strip club and Im sure many of those few WOULD be mad Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Lol PBJbear...what kind of men do you know who just go to a strip club on a Tuesday night?!? Lol. I'm not talking about going there like you would a movie! hahaha I meant like a bachelor party or a bachellerotte party. And I know MANY women who have gotten a male dancer or gone to a male strip club for a bachelerottee party. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Lol PBJbear...what kind of men do you know who just go to a strip club on a Tuesday night?!? Lol. I'm not talking about going there like you would a movie! hahaha I meant like a bachelor party or a bachellerotte party. And I know MANY women who have gotten a male dancer or gone to a male strip club for a bachelerottee party. Tuesday night? Lots of men go with friends on weekends and get lap dances all the time and dont think its cheating Men also often dont know when to stop, hence why men go to strip clubs get a lap dance and end up cheating... Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 KNOW THIS - I would prefer my wife/girlfriend/fiance getting a lap dance from a male stripper 10,000 times our of 10,000 times before I would rather her get grinded on at a dance club by some creep ONCE. I promise you that. Yet women, will want to go "dancing with their girlies!" And will allow men to grind on them on the dance floor. So who is really the hypocrit? Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 KNOW THIS - I would prefer my wife/girlfriend/fiance getting a lap dance from a male stripper 10,000 times our of 10,000 times before I would rather her get grinded on at a dance club by some creep ONCE. I promise you that. Yet women, will want to go "dancing with their girlies!" And will allow men to grind on them on the dance floor. So who is really the hypocrit? Um...men go to clubs without their girlfriends too. What do you think they are doing there? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Like Chris Rock says - no sex in the Champagne room...Unless maybe you have drugs...strippers have a reputation for liking drugs...But if your man has drugs then you aren't losing much anyway. I don't go to strip clubs unless I am single or a bachelor party. Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 BOYS go to dance clubs without their girls...Or scummers...A real man NEVER would do that. It's usually dirty people only in clubs anyway. How many judges, or business owners, or doctors, or lawyers, or teachers do you think are really in a club grinding on someone? Lol. It's uneducated people who don't understand common sense boundaries as it is. OR single people in which case it's fine if you are single. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 It is cheating, disrespectful. She wouldbe upset if you went out alone and did the same. I agree but good luck, because as a woman, if you tell your boyfriend to not go to a club because its disrespectful you will be labeled as controlling and insecure...see this with my friends alllllllllllll the time because they all go clubbing alot Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Yeah I've had the same problem. My first SERIOUS girlfriend after college still liked to club. And would dress SOOOO slutty showing a ton of skin. I told her I didn't appreciate any of it. She didn't care and told me I was being controlling. I ultimately ended it because I couldn't live with that pit in my stomahc everytime her and those legs left the house. I'm a guy...I know what goes on at clubs...and I know that half naked hot girls attract a lot of attention. And I know women like attention, especially the kind who dress half naked like my ex. LOL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Yeah, I think its better for a relationship to have either 2 people who club or 2 people who dont. When you mix the two it causes problems. 1 person either gets these detrimental adjectives or 1 person has resentment. Its really a compatibility/values issue I am past my college days and dont like to club anymore in general. Guys at clubs annoy the heck out of me anyway. Genuine attention is nice, but "sexual object" attention is not gratifying anymore 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 she danced with a gay guy! She grinded a gay guy for fun! if that's how insecure you are, yes, you should dump her for your own peace of mind. In my book, she likes you, she understands how you think, she cares about you because: A. she told you about it - she was honest B. By being honest, she knew how much she had to lose - so she cares more about having an honest relationship than having it safe and keeping you C. she obviously feels guilty - she has a conscious and she is emotionally involved in her relationship with you D. she only DANCED! no kissing, no sleeping, no nothing. I think you've got yourself a nice girl. Not a perfect girl, but a girl who cares and who wants to be with you. the ball is in your court and you will react based on your own most basic fears and convictions. Either way, your reaction will say a lot more about you than about her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 want to know something? If she felt like giving him a blowjob in the toilets she could have, no one would have ever known! That's having no conscious, having the man at home and fun in the disco - and ZERO emotional involvement. Choose to see the evil in people and that's the only thing you'll see, everywhere! Cheaters, liars, bastards everywhere! But then when someone has the balls to show you that they are not perfect, may have been drinking, may have been dancing, and you may NOT approve, but come to you and tell you anyway... well, then it's all a matter of how you choose to live your own life. Trust or not. Leave or not. Either way, you risk of losing something... your time or your potential happiness with someone un-perfect! Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Funny! where did you read the guy is gay? sorry, my bad, the OP said "guy friend", I must have read "gay friend" Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Right, those people never cheat. Dreamerisland - hahahah EVERYONE CHEATS! But epic joke...because Rich guys have a reputation for cheating more...But I think really they just cheat with hotter women so it gets more press. But I think that just makes sense. Why would someone want to cheat with a poor person? When you can be whisked away to fancy lunches/dinners, private resorts, upscale hotels, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 want to know something? If she felt like giving him a blowjob in the toilets she could have, no one would have ever known! That's having no conscious, having the man at home and fun in the disco - and ZERO emotional involvement. Choose to see the evil in people and that's the only thing you'll see, everywhere! Cheaters, liars, bastards everywhere! But then when someone has the balls to show you that they are not perfect, may have been drinking, may have been dancing, and you may NOT approve, but come to you and tell you anyway... well, then it's all a matter of how you choose to live your own life. Trust or not. Leave or not. Either way, you risk of losing something... your time or your potential happiness with someone un-perfect! I can't understand some people don't see the problem with this. lets quote OP: "she started to grind with her guy friend for couple of hours" When a girl in a club grinding a guys lap 9/10 the guy has an erection and she is grinding his erection, especialy when she is grinding him "for couple of hours". So do you think she would have done this when she didnt have At least this is what happend to me. So lets be real: the girl crossed a major line. And some people even tell their spouse they had ONS the moment right after it happend. Their are people that believe their is innocent flirting, innocent texting, giving (and getting) innocent lapdances people in a club (You would have hooked up with when you wheren't in a relationship). Innocent lowjobs etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Actually studies have shown-and studies aren't always accurate of course-that in a rich coupe. The female is more likely to cheat than the male. Disgusting but true. Can you back this up? Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 So my girlfriend went to the club with her friends. Later on that night, she started to grind with her guy friend for couple of hours. She said she knew what she was doing, but she felt bad afterward. She said there was no emotions going on. I don't know the guy, but I want know people opinions grinding. Is it cheating? hmmm, thats a tough one. I would consider it cheating, but its not so cut and dried. It is, however, highly disrespectful to do when in a committed relationship since grinding is basically simulated sex on the dancefloor. And don't think for a minute that her guy "friend", or her for that matter, didn't have thoughts in their head of desiring to F each other. And I have dumped a girl in my younger years who did exactly that, acted like she was being F'd on the dance floor with another guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chucksagent Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 nofool4u - I broke up with a girl a while back for the SAME reason...Lol. If she wants to pull that crap, she can do so like a single lady...As only single ladies should be doing that stuff to begin with. Even if it was 100% harmless in her eyes, oh yeah, go give that guy some thrill for a few hours, let him get his cheap thrills on my girlfriend...Nice, reallll nice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I would never do that if i had a boyfriend. I do think it's a form of cheating but certainly it's very disrespectful. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I just want to add, I would SO never do this to my boyfriend He would be heartbroken, imagining the person he loves grinding on another mans genitals! To him it would be THE SAME as cheating.. he would feel the same degree of heartbreak, my genitals would STILL make contact with another person through the grinding... Not cool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I've never cared for the word genitals. I know it's the proper name, and I know my feelings toward the word are illogical, but there's just something about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay15 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 thank you for your opinion everyone. Sorry I Haven't been on for a while. We broke up and I tried to do no contact and I fail 6 days later. Trying my best on the next 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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