sweetkiwi Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Well some of us confuse sexual attraction with being beautiful. Or the pounds of makeup with real looks. And Im saying this as a professional makeup artist Its unfortunate some of us under or over estimate our attractiveness. And even worse, let that affect how we see ourselves!!!! I always knew I was cute but never cared much. And IME the men who loved me appreciated that I could swim and get my hair wet or my face wet. Im a tomboy after all!!! A lot of makeup to me is just the eyes. I prefer lipstick though.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Problem with this is usually it's the not-so-pretty girls acting that way. That's my point. I'm agreeing that women are too hard on themselves, and a little glamour girl swagger can do wonders for any girl.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 OP should have talked to my ex. He picked apart everything (body, face, hair) and made me aware of flaws I never knew existed
sweetkiwi Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Yeah but the problems arise when the makeup and heels come off. Or they just never do. My girlfriend has been in Playboy. This week is another shoot. And I have seen her with no makeup.........she's very talented and looks great jn pictures. But she ACTS like a bombshell and THINKS she's a slob. So I don't think it benefits women in the long run to plaster their faces and not address why they feel that they are ugly. 2
sweetkiwi Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 OP should have talked to my ex. He picked apart everything (body, face, hair) and made me aware of flaws I never knew existed Sorry ES. Thats lesson number obey in ********* School. I had one ex like that. Why the hell didn't these losers get nexted instantly and put on dontdatethisloser.com? 4
suladas Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 OP should have talked to my ex. He picked apart everything (body, face, hair) and made me aware of flaws I never knew existed Obviously he was crazy considering the many avatar pics you'd had, you're incredibly attractive. 2
suladas Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I think some women worry about the wrong things. With enough make up anyone can look good. Seeing a women without make up is hotter, especially when they look just as good without it, or you have to guess if they are even wearing any. It's insane how self conscious some women get. I mean i've had women think i'm out of their league looks wise and I don't get it, how can they think that low of their looks when they are actually very good looking? Or if they have a tiny bit of a belly they are so worried about it. It's cute, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. 1
Els Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Definitely not all men think like the OP. But SOME do, and that's all that matters to me! I'm happy with one guy, I don't need all the men on the planet to like me. 4
Author charlietheginger Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 OP should have talked to my ex. He picked apart everything (body, face, hair) and made me aware of flaws I never knew existed You are perfect the way you are. You have no Flaws your eternal sunshine never let a man Send clouds over your head. Be who you are And never let anyone degrade you. Everyone is born Different if we all looked the same physically the world Would be a boring place. 2
SilentVoice Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Insecurity can not be fixed with external validation.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 But she ACTS like a bombshell and THINKS she's a slob. So I don't think it benefits women in the long run to plaster their faces and not address why they feel that they are ugly. I don't think women should shellac themselves and ignore their feelings. Far from it! I think a woman who is just acting like a bombshell but not radiating a genuine love of herself is transparent and unappealing. But I think a woman who has bombshell energy because she loves and accepts herself, flaws and all, is hot. 4
ScreamingTrees Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I recently was involved in a conversation with the men at my workplace regarding the attractiveness of certain female celebrities. According to them - Carrie Underwood is not cute because she's got a big forehead. Scarlett Johansson only looks good as a redhead. She's just "meh" when she's blonde. Tina Fey = NO. Kate Beckinsale is a goddess. Carrie Underwood isn't cute?!? Scarlett Johansson is "meh"?!? I'd gnaw off my right arm to look as "meh" as Scarlett. They must think I'm a full blown Mountain Troll!!! hahaha Eh. I think they're all attractive to some extent, but they're only human, they're not barbie dolls, as much as they may attempt to be. I think Tina Fey's hot for some reason.
Woggle Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 The beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we really are. 3
todreaminblue Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Thats very sweet of you. but i bet this is coming from a man who is 35+ and below average looking. why the back handed compliment if it was sweet of him ,which it was and i agree that it was thoughtful and sweet of him to say..., not with the second half of your post though...unnecessary....dont understand why you felt the need to add it...doesnt matter how old he is or what he looks like in my opinion......no buts required......deb
MrCastle Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 The beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we really are. I don't know, you've read some of the posts around here? I think we do a fine job of that without the beauty industry. That goes for both sexes. 4
Woggle Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I don't know, you've read some of the posts around here? I think we do a fine job of that without the beauty industry. That goes for both sexes. LS is hardly a representation of real life. 2
mesmerized Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I don't know, you've read some of the posts around here? I think we do a fine job of that without the beauty industry. That goes for both sexes. LS is much harsher than the "beauty industry". I strongly disagree with it "going for both sexes" though. Women on here are way too nice.
xxoo Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 For the average guy that's true but women want the guy with options much greater than her own. In that case she needs to be very critical to stay competitive otherwise that guy goes on to one of his better options. Because the best option is the most physically attractive? I think people may be too critical of themselves physically, and not critical enough of themselves (and others) in other fundamental ways. 2
KraftDinner Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 The OP is right. We're so hard on ourselves. There are guys out there who'll pick your looks apart. I will put up with a lot of crap but I can honestly say I've NEVER had to deal with that, and I'm 39 and had a few long-term relationships/a marriage. So why not just avoid guys like that? I don't get it. Guys like that will dump you for the next hot piece of ass there is anyway (aside from the fact they're probably boring). And believe me, no matter how hot you are, there will always be someone hotter than you to those guys. So yeah. OP is correct. And don't let people put you down. Walk. 2
xxoo Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 So why not just avoid guys like that? I don't get it. Guys like that will dump you for the next hot piece of ass there is anyway (aside from the fact they're probably boring). And believe me, no matter how hot you are, there will always be someone hotter than you to those guys. That's how I see it, too. So much focus on looks! I have a gorgeous friend, later 20s in age. She met her husband working in a marine lab, no make up. He had a lot of very pretty "options", but fell for her because she is tough as nails, funny as hell, and a great shot with a gun (in addition to being very attractive). He freaking adores this woman. If she'd been primarily focused on looking as good as possible, she wouldn't be married to him. 2
Esoteric Elf Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 This is interesting. Why would a woman be hard on herself with respect to physical looks? She is, I would believe in general, told by others that she is beautiful and "lookin cute", etc. on an appreciably regular basis while guys (again, generally speaking) are given compliments (and especially concerning their physical side) not often. I, in my 23 years of existence, have never received a compliment (since we are talking about physical here) on my physical side in real life. Now, if any girl or guy were to experience the same thing, I would understand. This obsession may stem form a sort of self-obsession. People think you look great (and, believe me, many probably do), but you probably are either casting bait for compliments to bolster your mood or you have little sense of objectivity.
KraftDinner Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 This is interesting. Why would a woman be hard on herself with respect to physical looks? She is, I would believe in general, told by others that she is beautiful and "lookin cute", etc. on an appreciably regular basis while guys (again, generally speaking) are given compliments (and especially concerning their physical side) not often. I, in my 23 years of existence, have never received a compliment (since we are talking about physical here) on my physical side in real life. Now, if any girl or guy were to experience the same thing, I would understand. This obsession may stem form a sort of self-obsession. People think you look great (and, believe me, many probably do), but you probably are either casting bait for compliments to bolster your mood or you have little sense of objectivity. You're making a lot of assumptions here based on what seems like an extremely limited life experience. Lots of guys get complimented ALL the time.
xxoo Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 She is "tough as nails" and has a comedic personality not because she focused on them but they are simply who she is. Only firearm proficiency is something she focused on to develop unless its root lies outside of herself which many times it does. He would have still ended up with her because the mating game is purely instinctive and genetically biased. It is not an expression of individualism but biology. Well, she's got more going for her than that, including her skills in their mutual field of marine science. But my point is that she never tried to sell herself with her looks. She feels pretty (she IS pretty), and that's enough. Other things are more important, like her personality. He may not have even have met her if she wasn't hanging out in marine labs.
xxoo Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 She doesn't need to. It's automatic. Exactly. Unlike other women, she isn't too hard on herself physically. She can see that she is pretty, and she focuses on other things. She doesn't stress the physical, because it is enough. But she very likely spends an inordinate amount of time on appearance especially relative to many males. She's like me. At her age, I took a shower, brushed my hair, and headed out the door. She's not worried about competing with other pretty women (neither am I, never have been). She knows she's pretty, and that's enough. She has more important things to focus on, and that's what makes her so attractive overall.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I think some women worry about the wrong things. With enough make up anyone can look good. Seeing a women without make up is hotter, especially when they look just as good without it, or you have to guess if they are even wearing any. It's insane how self conscious some women get. I mean i've had women think i'm out of their league looks wise and I don't get it, how can they think that low of their looks when they are actually very good looking? Or if they have a tiny bit of a belly they are so worried about it. It's cute, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. No, it's not insane how self-conscious some women get. Can we stop shaming women for their real struggles with their looks and beauty though? It makes me want to hurl how doubly and then triply we shame and punish women. Let me tell you what I mean by that. First we shame women about our bodies and looks. We tell some women they are "more proportional" with breast implants. We believe that seeing a woman's ribs is equal to a healthy weight. Women are told all the time they have less worth after the age of 25 and especially after the age of 30. And then we shame women and tell them how "insane" they are, or other words, when women take in the messages society has been giving them since they were born. We tell women they are belign "silly" and "insane" when women have real struggles with their looks and beauty. It's ridiculous how much we expect women to take in and deal with and come out like champs ontop. First we place pressure on women to be hot and look "sexy" per society standards, and then we actually have the nerve to shame women and tell them how silly they are when they worry about the things most of society wants women to worry about! And this is the face of advertising selling make-up and anti-aging miracles, 17 year old runway models and a woman's own man in her life most likely oggling Maxim magazine or porn of 25 year olds. Or how about all the ridiculous mainstream movies that love to pair young starlets with aging male actors. But yes, lets tell women that they are the ones being "insane" and "silly" to question where they fit. Lets not take a serious look at the messages the world gives women and how both other women AND men are treating women and their beauty. Lets just expect women to absorb all these messages and then lets also tell women how "insane" they are for taking in the exact messages society, and even their own husbands and boyfriends, indulge...yeah that makes sense. I appreciate the OPs message about how "beautiful", "beautiful" women are...because after all, the OP's original post was really only about "beautilful" women that are hard on themselves. Not about women in general being hard of themselves. 1
Recommended Posts