Is there any justice in this love stuff?

[Rebecca]

Hi!

 

I am just wondering.

 

Like many posts say here, many people find themselves attracted to some other people, in spite of the fact that they are already in a relationship.

 

The question is this: Can we blame them on abandoning their partners and going for their new lovers in the name of LOVE?

 

since LOVE is meant to be liberated and the HEART is meant to be free....

 

I am confused and find it difficult to think.

 

Maybe there is nothing right or nothing wrong... Just the way life is...(but how sad!)

 

Please help! Any insights will be appreciated!

[Tony T]

Normal people, with normal blood hormone levels who are otherwise healthy and without physical or psychological challenges, will find themselves attracted to other people all the days of their lives.

 

I don't think its right to blame anyone for anything becasue reality is reality. However, people are pretty stupid if they keep on leaving one person for another. They have no understanding of human nature and no sense of committment.

 

Now, if they are leaving a poor relationship for the possiblity of a much better one...now, that's pretty rational. But if they just move from one person to another because the new person turns them on more, that's insane.

 

It is just plain natural that after we are with one person for a while, the wild chemistry we have for that person diminishes a bit. It's that swirling around of chemicals in our brains that attracts us in the first place. If we truly love that person, we remain with them and love and care for them in a mutual fashion if all the other elements of a healthy and satisfying relationship are there.

 

If we keep responding to the chemistry thing with every new person that comes along, we can drive ourselves crazy.

 

Nobody abandons their partners for new lovers in the name of love, unless they don't love their partners. They do it in the name of lust, boredom, vengeance, etc. There are people out there who think that just because the fireworks taper off, the relationship should be over. I guess those people probably end up marrying someone fairly quickly, before the fireworks end, and then divorce them when that happens.

 

There are many people with no morals, ethics or principles and no sense of committment. They do whatever makes them feel good at the time. These are the people you are talking about. Again, I don't put any blame on them for doing what they do. They are quite free to do it. But if they don't get their act together, they are condemned to a life of chemical addiction to love and having to continuously find new sources of stimulation. They really need help and, if unchecked, their behavior can be classified as sociopathic.

 

There are a lot of these out there and most men and women try to detect them and avoid them like the plague.

 

Also, it occurs more often in much younger people than with mature people who have experienced it and know what it's all about.

[Deejette]

We have to draw the distinction between love and lust here. When people mistake love for lust and ditch their committed relationship for an exciting fling, they are foolish and suffer the painful consequences.

 

Too many people mistake the chemical swirling for love. And this chemical swirl can be stimulated by some of the most inappropriate people. We can exercise choice and decide not to be blinded by chemistry to the point where we ruin our lives by hooking up with destructive people who happen to have a lot of animal magnetism.

 

There is no justice where lust is concerned, because even the most unworthy people can inspire lust. But love comes from caring and admiring the goodness of a person. It comes from a different source from lust. It comes from the heart. Even when it comes to the heart, we cannot predict that we will fall in love with a truly deserving person who will be good to us.

 

So falling in love or in lust is not enough of a basis for a lasting relationship.

Normal people, with normal blood hormone levels who are otherwise healthy and without physical or psychological challenges, will find themselves attracted to other people all the days of their lives. I don't think its right to blame anyone for anything becasue reality is reality. However, people are pretty stupid if they keep on leaving one person for another. They have no understanding of human nature and no sense of committment. Now, if they are leaving a poor relationship for the possiblity of a much better one...now, that's pretty rational. But if they just move from one person to another because the new person turns them on more, that's insane. It is just plain natural that after we are with one person for a while, the wild chemistry we have for that person diminishes a bit. It's that swirling around of chemicals in our brains that attracts us in the first place. If we truly love that person, we remain with them and love and care for them in a mutual fashion if all the other elements of a healthy and satisfying relationship are there. If we keep responding to the chemistry thing with every new person that comes along, we can drive ourselves crazy. Nobody abandons their partners for new lovers in the name of love, unless they don't love their partners. They do it in the name of lust, boredom, vengeance, etc. There are people out there who think that just because the fireworks taper off, the relationship should be over. I guess those people probably end up marrying someone fairly quickly, before the fireworks end, and then divorce them when that happens. There are many people with no morals, ethics or principles and no sense of committment. They do whatever makes them feel good at the time. These are the people you are talking about. Again, I don't put any blame on them for doing what they do. They are quite free to do it. But if they don't get their act together, they are condemned to a life of chemical addiction to love and having to continuously find new sources of stimulation. They really need help and, if unchecked, their behavior can be classified as sociopathic. There are a lot of these out there and most men and women try to detect them and avoid them like the plague. Also, it occurs more often in much younger people than with mature people who have experienced it and know what it's all about.

[Rebecca]

Thank you, Tony and Deejette!

 

Your thoughts have made me think a lot and made me feel more comfortable.

 

Thanks again!