jlindemann Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I know a lot of people are devastated when they get divorced. I think my ex is. But I've never been sad, never cried, and never regretted leaving. I think this hurts him the most. I honestly believe it was the BEST decision I've ever made. I left him this past year so it's not like I've had years to reflect on my decision. Anyone else like me that feels so completely FREE? Share your story Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 How long were you with him for? Maybee he liked you more then you liked him. I don't know maybee you're too young. Or you may be emotionally numb right now. You tend to feel it when you go completely no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
ataloss8270 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 If you are completely happy about leaving him, then you probably never truly loved him to begin with. You may have cared about him, but not truly loved him. And I'm sorry but to me that sounds like a heartless comment. As for me I am not happy about what is going on. My wife left me and I, like your ex have to deal with it. And do my best to try and reconcile my marriage, both because I truly love her and because its the best for my kids. And if I don't I have to rebuild my life again. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 My wife cheated, then left. I wanted to punish her. I wanted her to miss me. I wanted her to feel scared and alone...to feel as bad as I did. Then I grew a brain. Divorce is a legal process for leaving a broken marriage. I don't see any happiness that comes from it alone. Viewed alone, it's a symbol of failure. I equate divorce to root canal. It's a miserable experience, but after you're happy because the problem is fixed. In between there's a time of mourning. A time to grieve. If you don't, you probably never really loved them. Divorce did not make me happy. What I did after the divorce, did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ecdimh Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I know a lot of people are devastated when they get divorced. I think my ex is. But I've never been sad, never cried, and never regretted leaving. I think this hurts him the most. I honestly believe it was the BEST decision I've ever made. I left him this past year so it's not like I've had years to reflect on my decision. Anyone else like me that feels so completely FREE? Share your story I just told my wife I had done a lot of thinking, and i've come to the realization that I wasnt happy, and ddidnt think we should be together. It was a short marriage, and I think from the start I knew it wouldnt last. However, my soon to be ex wife was devestated. I expected her to be. I did some crying, just because of how horrible I felt for crushing her world, her spirit, etc. However, even less than a week in, she is either doing better, or pretending to do better. We plan on trying to live together until our lease is up..and I can say I am happy to be getting divorced.. I am relieved. I was tormented for months figuring out what to do, and thats no longer on my mind. Im not happy I broke her heart, but I am happy to move on with my life, and excited about what my future may hold. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I liked being married and I'm OK with being single/divorced, but the divorce itself was hell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nelib Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I'm not happy. I've never been this depressed in my life. I'm sad for him for being so lost and alone that he had to turn to strangers to fulfill his emptiness. I feel sad for myself for trusting him and hoping that everything would turn out fine. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I know a lot of people are devastated when they get divorced. I think my ex is. But I've never been sad, never cried, and never regretted leaving. I think this hurts him the most. I honestly believe it was the BEST decision I've ever made. I left him this past year so it's not like I've had years to reflect on my decision. Anyone else like me that feels so completely FREE? Share your story My situation was opposite yours. He left me for another. I was the one devastated, in shock and denial. All these years later, I know it was for the best. I didn't know he hadn't loved me until the end of the M. There's a lot to be said for being Free. Free from hurt, free from judgement, free from heaviness, or sharing life with the half of you - who is obviously just trying. Link to post Share on other sites
Logik Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I always believe that if you're a person who goes into a marriage half-heartedly, on a whim, or pretend that you were forced into it, and you think that a divorce will sort out the "mistake" you made, then don't get married. Ever. Nobody understands what marriage is supposed to be. Perhaps it's an outdated institution and I'm too old-fashioned. Divorce to me is a cop-out. It's weakness personified. Of course I'm not referring to cases where there is abuse. I will never get married again because I will never be able to trust another soul with something so important. So I suppose, to answer your question, no, I'm not happy about it and never will be. Link to post Share on other sites
mariabogas Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I am divorced 8 years and yes I am happy being divorced. But when it was recent, I was a wreck. I went through several stages, disbelief, angry with life and frightened to be left alone to face all the daily issues. Over time I realized that was the best that could have happen to me and that I become a better strong person. But, the heritage of that past made me distrust the “marriage” institution. I believed in the promises “for life” that I made and that the other person made. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Best decision that I ever made. To this day he is still the same overly angry, abrasive, controlling and mean person that he was then hidden underneath layers of manufactured charm. And leaving him has allowed me to be me, not somebody who had to keep quiet and bend over backwards to not provoke him. So yes, very free. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 The separation/divorce period these past 2 years, in total, was hellish. She kicked me to the curb, we'd been together forever, and I really fought to keep the family together. But by the point of a year and a half, I'd done all the mourning I could. I realized I had the choice to be happy or unhappy, and that the choice really was out of her hands after a certain point. So, I feel liberated now. I'm glad it's over. My happiness has nothing to do with her, although I think she liked that 'control' over me before in a torturous, almost sadistic sense. So I'm free. I dare say she did me a HUGE favor in cutting me out of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
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