My step-sister with my boyfriend

[mooshmichelle]

Basically I am just living a Jerry Springer episode. My step-sister has three times now kissed my boyfriends. We are the same age (19 now).

 

The first time was when I was 16 and a friend caught them after school one day and told me. I confronted her and she admitted it. She was like sorry, sorry, sorry and we had a huge fight. My parents heard us, found out what was going on and she was grounded for 2 months. I was told to break up with my boyfriend because he was obviously no good.

 

The second time was a year later. I had a new boyfriend for only about 2 months. It was his 18th birthday party. I was really drunk and was just chilling out the back yard when again one of my friends came and told me they saw my boyfriend go in the bedroom with some girl. They didn’t know who. I barged in and they were on the bed, still in clothes, kissing, it was my step-sister again. I couldn’t be bothered with her this time and just walked away and swore I’d never talk to her again.

 

So I have barely said a word to her since then. We are civil when we have to be but that is as far as it goes. I moved out of home about 18 months ago (she was only a small part of the reason) and then moved in with my new boyfriend about 10 months ago.

 

I saw a text message on my boyfriends phone a few weeks ago that said something along the lines of the kiss we shared at xmas was great. Hope there will be more. Of course I was furious and threw his phone at him asking to him to explain and who it was (I didn’t recognize the number).

 

He confessed it all. They kissed on xmas day out in my parents shed when he was getting more chairs and she walked in. And AGAIN later in the night when she walked in on him washing his hands after going to the toilet. And yes of course it was my step-sister AGAIN. I have moved out and am back at home temporarily but I have to deal with her being here so it’s not easy.

 

Our parents don’t know about the second or third times and I am really debating whether to tell them but I’m not sure what it will achieve.

 

I obviously have issues choosing the right boyfriend. My step-sister obviously has issues she needs to get sorted, whatever they might be, not my problem if she stays away from me.

 

Has anyone else had sibling issues like this? I’m guessing that it may be relatively common for something like what has happened to me to happen once, but multiple times surely must be unique.

 

What’s the best way to handle this? Talking to her is pointless, it’s just all crying and lies saying she’s so sorry. I think our parents deserve to know but I don’t want to cause issues between them and my step-sister just for the fun of it, but if it would help that’s another story. As for me, well I’m not getting another boyfriend until I get a long way away from her. I am currently looking or work interstate but my parents are really upset that I will be moving away.

[Radu]

Mom and Dad, i really would prefer to remain here as i like this state, but i can't have a relationship here.

She has seduced 3 of my boyfriends so far, including the one i moved in with and with whom i had a good relationship [and seduced him twice].

She has gone out of her way to do this, establishing herself as the other woman with him later on.

 

After you let the ball drop, go away.

The fact that you haven't exposed her enables her, and is seen by her as a sort of 'quit acceptance'.

She got used with the theater she puts out when she is caught.

 

And this is not normal sibling behaviour, you do need however to get a better guy that won't cheat on you like this ... and who will tell you if she forces herself on him.

[sweetkiwi]

I would kick her ass.

[mooshmichelle]

you do need however to get a better guy that won't cheat on you like this

 

That is my biggest concern, why am I making the wrong choices? I can't control others (yet ) but I can control my choices and they haven't been very good.

 

I know telling our parents is what is needed but I doubt they will get through to her and it will just end up in one big family mess. She might even be ostracized and I don't want that for her. Even after all she has done she is still my sister. I think telling her boyfriend might be better but I just don't want to be the bitch that sabotages their relationship.

 

I am going to try one last time to speak to her, with the threat of telling our parents and her partner, and see if I can get her to see the pain she has caused and the issues she obviously has. If that fails I am left with a hard choice.

[Radu]

Don't threaten her with that, but talk with her if you want. Don't even mention this.

 

This plan is your safe place, your future move, your battleplan.

What's the point of telling that to the enemy ?

 

You know what she will do ?

She will go to your parents, cry her eyes out, and say that you haven't gotten over that episode many yrs ago, that you are a psycho b*tch [not in these words] and that there is something wrong with you [implied obviously].

That's what someone who is manipulative would do.

 

Talk to her, and if it doesn't work out [i would even record the discussion], move with the plan.

They will not ostracize her, as she is their daughter, but she will be their problem and not yours anymore.

What she did to you over the last couple of yrs can be considered emotional abuse and she doesn't really cares that much about it.

She's probably jealous of you and highly insecure.

[rys]

if i were in your place, i would probably date the guy i hated most

 

 

:D