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What's wrong with me?


deejaylove

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I'm 36, independent, but craving sharing my life with someone special. I've had several long-term relationships, from one to five years. I was deeply in love with my last boyfriend when he dumped me out of nowhere. Seriously, no warning signs, no clues.

 

I don't want kids, and I'm not interested in marriage, although, I'm pretty up front that I will get married if it's important to someone who loves me and whom I love.

 

In the past couple of months, I've been dating a lot, between the online thing, and just meeting people to date. Some of these people are perfect on paper, but when it comes down to it, I can't imagine for a moment spending a weekend, let alone my life with them, but it seems like every single one wants to make it happen with me. Most of them are extremely intelligent, but socially... not INEPT, but not great either.

 

I realize I'm a little mature in my dating years (yes, I need to tell myself I'm not getting old), but I look young for my age, and I have very few responsibilities. I would think that it might be a turn on for a lot of people that I don't want children. Most of them want something long-term with me, but I'm not feeling it.

 

Am I doing something wrong? I really want to love and be loved. It's so frustrating that all of these people feel it with me, but I don't feel it back. Can you guys help?

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You sound so like me, but for me at 37, I crave the marriage and the whole desire to love and to be loved, I'm still looking for the answer, have had lots of long term serious relationships, but the majority seem to just fade out and leave for one reason or another, I don't know if it's something in me that makes me push guys away, even though all I want to do is pull them closer, I guess it's fear of rejection for me, sorry I'm not really answering your question......am I?? I hope someone will be able to make a bit of sense of it for you and maybe they'll make sense of my situation for me too :) :) in any case I hope you find peace with your situation soon :) :) xx

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