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Very Lost and Alone


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Evangel Tepes

Hello all, Evangel Tepes here. Allow me to set the scene. I'll try to make this as short as possible.

 

In my senior year of high school I dated a junior-year transfer student for a few months. She broke up with me for one of her most-beloved ex-boyfriends, someone she claimed had "saved her life."

 

After I graduated she moved back to Maryland. I still lived in Virginia. A month or two passed, and due to being neglected by her other man (who lives in Hawai'i) she begged me to take her back. So, we started a long-distance relationship.

 

A couple months ago we finally managed to move in with each other. I had to drive halfway to Maryland to get her.

 

Prior to this, she had asked my opinion on an open-relationship, meaning, she wanted to have sex with other guys just because we were apart. I told her it would never fly with me - I am loyal, and there's nobody who is interested in me. I asked around after she broke up with me. Nobody was interested.

 

A week or two ago, as we cuddled in the darkness of my bedroom, she starts to whimper softly. I asked what was wrong. She told me she had something on her chest that was building up inside, causing her stress, so she had to tell me.

 

She had slept with a guy named Jeff, someone she had openly admitted to me about wanting to use for her plaything during the open-relationship discussion. Then she went on to say she had slept with him three times, and proceeded to blame it on her best friend, or her mood swings, or the environment, etc.

 

She plans on going into the military (the Navy, specifically) and is begging me to practically become her military spouse. What worries me is her faithfulness, her fidelity. She'll be spending a lot of time away from me during her training and boot camp, and sleeping in co-ed barracks, meaning, with girls AND boys. She is openly bi-sexual.

 

I do not know what to do. I love her, and I want to marry her, but I want to know she'd actually be MINE, ALL THE TIME, NOT JUST WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER OR APART. I fear she'll cheat on me again and then just begin to use me like a toy with no emotional value. My biggest fear is that she'll leave me for some soldier boy or girl just because I won't "respond to the call of duty."

 

Any thoughts, advice, opinions, suggestions, or real-life experiences to share? I'm kinda just looking for anything at the moment. :(

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I think you deserve more than the kind of relationship you could have with her. She does not sound like a very stable person, and I think you could find someone who has the same values as you.

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stillbyMyself

She really is pretty honest with wanting to have a relationship that allows her to have sexual relations with anyone. She not only said it but proved it with her actions. She won't change those feelings/behaviors, no matter how much you want her to. It won't matter how great of a BF/H you will be to her, she doesn't have the same values concerning sex as you do. I would break it off, no matter how hard it will be, because you will not ever have the happy, stable relationship with her that you desire. It will hurt like hell now, or hurt even worse after you get married!

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