what will my bf think of this?

[monamacy]

i've been with my bf for 2 years and we've had our ups and downs for the first one and a half year, then the last 6 months our relationship was perfect, passionate and loving. the only down side in this relationship is he doenst believe in marriage vows and he dont see it coming, not for now, and dont know when it will ever happen. that brought me into serious thinking for a while and i decided to stay on with him, becouse i can see his commitment in this exclusive relationship, though not in the paper form.

 

since that conversation about "m" (1 year ago), i did not mention that again and just enjoyed each other's company and stop giving him the pressure. though i got to admit that i mention the "m" too soon while into the 1st year of relationship, when things were still rocky for us with our arguement and untrusting mood. even though i know now is at least more of a stable time to talk about marriage, but i dont want to remind him that he has to marry me, that is very meaningless in a relationship and i don't want him to resent me one day if we ever got married. if he wanted, he would do so on his own accord.

 

so now im taking things cool but at the same time, i know that i still pin for the hope of getting married (w or w/o kids im fine). to me, if there is a new man coming my way, i will be more than ready to walk out, but now while i still love him with all my heart, i dont want to force myself to leave him which i know it will be a big torture for me.

 

at the same time, im getting my migration papers to another country, this i have not told him yet becouse we mentioned that before at the early stage of our relationship and he wasnt prepared to leave all things behind and start a new life in an alien place. so i dont want to bring this up again in fear that he might take it as another pressure, i just dont want to pressure him in any sense he may mistakenly think.

 

i was thinking once my papers are out, i will tell him about my plans and if he thinks that we have a future together, he may follow me as spouse from a PR status. do you think he will be mad with me for deciding all things before even discuss it with him first??? reasons i dont want to bring this up to him now becouse:-

1) he may feel that im leaving this relationship and he may be lack interested in our relationship; and

2) he may feel that im pressuring him to marry AGAIN, by way of forcing him to migrate with me!

 

all i want for him is to freely go whichever way he wants, by causing less hurt to anyone of us.

 

what do you guys think out there?

[lissab113]

Alright, the question here really is are you really getting what you need from this relationship? All boys need to think about marriage in their own space and time. But, from what it sounds like, he's really not giving the future a whole lot of serious thought. Maybe you need to take your focus off of marrying him and focus on your amazing plans to move to another country. If he really loves you enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you he'll find a way to work things out. If not I'm sure there are hot foreign men!