Does this reality blow your mind about body image?

[KungFuJoe]

I'd say op was making all this up but sadly I know someone in real life who thinks a lot like this. Basically says emotions are useless and serve no purpose and he has been training himself to be emotionless. He was my best friend for the last twenty years.

 

FORMER best friend as of a few months ago. I got tired of his act. He's never even had a gf because he never felt worthy enough of one, though he'll tell you that no woman is good enough for him.

 

Sounds familiar doesn't it?

[charlietheginger]

Oh my god. Do all the nitwit angry, butthurt misogynistic males come and post stupid threads like this on the Dating section of this forum because all other relationship forums reject them? Seriously, I wonder.

 

He claims he would like to take a chic to bugerking and rent a redbox movie

Thats the perfect date. Sounds great if your 75 yrs old living

On social security .

[chex]

He claims he would like to take a chic to bugerking and rent a redbox movie

Thats the perfect date. Sounds great if your 75 yrs old living

On social security .

 

Eh. I've done that. We ordered basically everything on the value menu twice[it was actually macdonalds ] and then made this awkward pile of food and ate it. Of course, it was about 3 AM so it was much better than it should have been. Then we just made out and paid no heed to the movie. I don't even remember what movie it was.

[Toddbt12y1]

I think the Guy is nuts and we are giving a potential woman killer unnecessary attention.

[fortyninethousand322]

Eh, I've always had a negative opinion about my body. When I was a kid it was because I was too fat. Now, it's because I don't think I'm muscular enough. I'd like to look like John Cena or Vernon Davis but it's a lot of work.

 

This is independent of women or society though. At least I think so.

[SJC2008]

The guy in the OP needs to work on his social skills! He needs to be confident, let it radiate. He needs to be firm with his tone. He needs to take charge, be a leader and set the tone!

[chex]

The guy in the OP needs to work on his social skills! He needs to be confident, let it radiate. He needs to be firm with his tone. He needs to take charge, be a leader and set the tone!

 

Ugh I'm sick of hearing this taking charge ****. Why can't we just accept each other as equals? I mean, isn't that what the equality movement thing is about? Feminism n' ****? Be free from your prescribed gender roles?

[LittleTiger]

What a sad thread.....

 

Yet another 'young' (?) guy who hates women - tragic!

[AlexDP]

What a sad thread.....

 

Yet another 'young' (?) guy who hates women - tragic!

 

What he says is not entirely untrue unfortunately. As men we are constantly told not to criticize women. If we do, we're superficial. On the other hand, we have to have a high class job, we have to earn loads of money, be the fittest guy around and show no emotion whatsoever.

 

The thing is, as a woman, being average is already going to be enough. As a man you have to be amazing at pretty much everything or you will be made fun of. I can see how that puts a strain on some men.

[ErosOcean]

Basically nature doesn't give a damn about us males. Society and women will never love us. Only when we men have value as a tool to be used is when people even care.

 

Soulmates ladies DO NOT exist at all. What you define as a Soulmate is in reality a guy who spent half his life building himself. Frustrates me to no end how women IGNORE all that hard work men do by just saying We're Soulmates or It just happened we connected. Truth is that guy is the only damn Alpha you can get so you settled for him.

 

Nature is impersonal, it does not favor one gender over the other. Nor does it favor a certain race of men or groups of culture. And why should we venerate and honor men who are idle? What value is a man who does not toil at all. If the farmer doesn't tend to his crops, how is he to survive?

 

I actually agree, I don't believe in soulmates. But not by how you define it. If you look at what most define the soulmate as, they say it is someone whom they must have known in a former life that has come into this world to reunite with them. In most cases, they believe that they will only become complete and whole once they've found their soulmate. In reality, the soulmate idea is just romanticism. The soulmate is merely someone who compliments that persons personality and attributes. Which would explain why they feel connected with that person. We could expound on it more, but that would take awhile.

 

So what can a so called good female do for you?

 

They make a great character for Power Girl.

 

I see reality as it truly is without society's social constructs or political correctness. The more you strip away the illusions of life the more you become me. An entity capable-of-perceiving reality as merely calculable information.

 

No, the more you strip away the illusions of life, you become the Buddha. Or to the Greek philosophers of antiquity you become a superman, or more god-like.

 

What you are perceiving as Truth of reality, is merely your imagination. You are analyzing only fragments of what you perceive. You haven't seen the whole. In frankness, you are delusional.

 

Truth is, the Alpha and Beta male theory for guys is one of the most idiotic thing that is being taught to men.

 

Now I'm going to blow your mind with the reality of the leadership role for a man, and why NOT ALL women want a guy that leads, pays for everything, or has a good job. There are a group of women, that will do everything for her man (pay for dates, buy gifts, etc) these women are called...

 

Sugar momma's.

 

Women who are in higher positions, who are more financially stable, they can find it incredibly difficult to find a man that is okay with having a woman as their equal or better. Because they want companionship of someone who doesn't care about their status, they will date and even marry men who are so called low status (no job, low income, living at their parents home, fat, ugly, bald, physically weak, etc). These men enjoy it and are okay with this. It doesn't make them weaker for it, because these men provide something that these women feel are missing in their life. They make them feel wanted.

 

(Mind blown. Kaplow)

 

Anyway, if you seriously want REAL mind blowing reality stuff. Study philosophy, the human anatomy, and astronomy.

[LittleTiger]

What he says is not entirely untrue unfortunately. As men we are constantly told not to criticize women. If we do, we're superficial. On the other hand, we have to have a high class job, we have to earn loads of money, be the fittest guy around and show no emotion whatsoever.

 

The thing is, as a woman, being average is already going to be enough. As a man you have to be amazing at pretty much everything or you will be made fun of. I can see how that puts a strain on some men.

 

.....and women are constantly 'told' they should overlook men's 'faults' too - if we don't, we are superficial.

 

Why don't women want to date unemployed guys, with big fat bellies who don't take care of themselves and have so little interest in life that they are still living in one bedroom at their mom's house at the age of 35, and having her do their laundry?

 

Beats me? Sounds like a real catch for any woman!

 

.....and an 'average' woman is not what most guys are looking for, not if he's looking for something more than a ONS at least.

 

It works both ways.....

 

....although, I don't believe I have ever seen a thread started on here from a woman complaining about how ALL guys are losers and slobs, they never make enough money and how can they expect to attract women unless they look like a greek God. Yet there are threads popping up every week dissing ALL women for some reason or another.

 

Seriously......it is very, very sad.

 

We are all human beings and we have to get along together in this life. We all want the same things, love, happiness, fulfillment etc. The very least we can do is to support each other along the way.

 

It's been said many times on LS, but attitude is what makes all the difference. Who would you rather spend time with or date? A woman who is fun, upbeat, cheerful, enjoys the company of men and makes them feel good about themselves, or one who spends her time complaining that half the human race (your half!) isn't even worthy of her company?

 

Think about it!

[ScreamingTrees]

.....and women are constantly 'told' they should overlook men's 'faults' too - if we don't, we are superficial.

 

Why don't women want to date unemployed guys, with big fat bellies who don't take care of themselves and have so little interest in life that they are still living in one bedroom at their mom's house at the age of 35, and having her do their laundry?

 

Beats me? Sounds like a real catch for any woman!

 

.....and an 'average' woman is not what most guys are looking for, not if he's looking for something more than a ONS at least.

 

It works both ways.....

 

....although, I don't believe I have ever seen a thread started on here from a woman complaining about how ALL guys are losers and slobs, they never make enough money and how can they expect to attract women unless they look like a greek God. Yet there are threads popping up every week dissing ALL women for some reason or another.

 

Seriously......it is very, very sad.

 

We are all human beings and we have to get along together in this life. We all want the same things, love, happiness, fulfillment etc. The very least we can do is to support each other along the way.

 

It's been said many times on LS, but attitude is what makes all the difference. Who would you rather spend time with or date? A woman who is fun, upbeat, cheerful, enjoys the company of men and makes them feel good about themselves, or one who spends her time complaining that half the human race (your half!) isn't even worthy of her company?

 

Think about it!

 

Umm.. Not to argue, but I highly doubt that every guy that struggles here is a total deadbeat. I don't see how that's a valid counter to what he said.

 

He says that men are pressured to be perfect while your average woman doesn't even have to try hard to find some interest in other men..

 

Your counter claim is that women are pressured to overlook men's faults? And then you try to portray the average struggling man as a 35 year old out of shape man living with his parents because he has no job? I think most people try hard not to be any of those things, I doubt that a majority of struggling guys have it that bad.

 

Is it a fault that you have to overlook if a guy is merely statistically "average" in regards to most things? Are you not "average" yourself, along with the bulk of the population? Why wouldn't your equal be good enough for you, if you love yourself? Why would it be a "fault" that you have to accept? Those "average" things are not what you're falling for anyway, it's the person.. Their mannerisms, their way of speaking, their thoughts, their passions, the moments and things that you share with that person..

 

Both of you sound silly, but given the points that he'd made, regardless of his statements being ridiculous or lame, your counter argument was just as flimsy. Shouldn't have bothered to even answer the guy, honestly.

Edited January 20, 2013 by ScreamingTrees

[AlexDP]

Umm.. Not to argue, but I highly doubt that every guy that struggles here is a total deadbeat. I don't see how that's a valid counter to what he said.

 

He says that men are pressured to be perfect while your average woman doesn't even have to try hard to find some interest in other men..

 

Your counter claim is that women are pressured to overlook men's faults? And then you try to portray the average struggling man as a 35 year old out of shape man living with his parents because he has no job? I think most people try hard not to be any of those things, I doubt that a majority of struggling guys have it that bad.

 

Is it a fault that you have to overlook if a guy is merely statistically "average" in regards to most things? Are you not "average" yourself, along with the bulk of the population? Why wouldn't your equal be good enough for you, if you love yourself? Why would it be a "fault" that you have to accept? Those "average" things are not what you're falling for anyway, it's the person.. Their mannerisms, their way of speaking, their thoughts, their passions, the moments and things that you share with that person..

 

Both of you sound silly, but given the points that he'd made, regardless of his statements being ridiculous or lame, your counter argument was just as flimsy. Shouldn't have bothered to even answer the guy, honestly.

 

A fundamental difference between the expectations we have of men and women is that whenever men don't live up to them, they have failed and are unmanly.

[LittleTiger]

Umm.. Not to argue, but I highly doubt that every guy that struggles here is a total deadbeat. I don't see how that's a valid counter to what he said.

 

He says that men are pressured to be perfect while your average woman doesn't even have to try hard to find some interest in other men..

 

Your counter claim is that women are pressured to overlook men's faults? And then you try to portray the average struggling man as a 35 year old out of shape man living with his parents because he has no job? I think most people try hard not to be any of those things, I doubt that a majority of struggling guys have it that bad.

 

Is it a fault that you have to overlook if a guy is merely statistically "average" in regards to most things? Are you not "average" yourself, along with the bulk of the population? Why wouldn't your equal be good enough for you, if you love yourself? Why would it be a "fault" that you have to accept? Those "average" things are not what you're falling for anyway, it's the person.. Their mannerisms, their way of speaking, their thoughts, their passions, the moments and things that you share with that person..

 

Both of you sound silly, but given the points that he'd made, regardless of his statements being ridiculous or lame, your counter argument was just as flimsy. Shouldn't have bothered to even answer the guy, honestly.

 

Well thanks, but I will decide which posts I would like to answer.

 

The 'flimsiness' of my 'argument' was actually the whole point - it is ridiculous to make comments about either men or women such as those that have been made in this thread.

 

Both men and women have their crosses to bear in terms of what is expected or desired by the opposite sex (or whoever they are hoping to attract).

 

In my opinion, it is very sad for guys like the OP and other young LS men, to spend so much time thinking, and posting, about how much they dislike women and why.

 

The harsh truth is that if women are not interested in you it is because you are not what they are looking for - whether that is looks, money, personality, confidence, six pack etc etc.....and women are perfectly entitled to choose their own deal breakers.

 

The same for men. If you want a young, slim, hot woman with a tiny waist and large breasts, and you don't care if she has money or an education, that's your choice.

 

The fact remains that most people find long term partners and, at some point, will settle down and have children. Most of those people are just ordinary, average men and women. Neither gender deserves the bashing that is sometimes given on LS - and it is usually men bashing women - as in this particular thread.

Edited January 20, 2013 by LittleTiger

[AlexDP]

 

In my opinion, it is very sad for guys like the OP and other young LS men, to spend so much time thinking, and posting, about how much they dislike women and why.

 

The harsh truth is that if women are not interested in you it is because you are not what they are looking for - whether that is looks, money, personality, confidence, six pack etc etc.....and women are perfectly entitled to choose their own deal breakers.

 

The same for men. If you want a young, slim, hot woman with a tiny waist and large breasts, and you don't care if she has money or an education, that's your choice.

 

 

 

To be clear: I like women. I've never disliked them. I do dislike the fact that many women hold men to a highly sexist standard.

[HeavenOrHell]

Any partner of mine doesn't have to have a high class job, earn loads, be the fittest guy, none of those things have ever mattered to me.

What I do find hard is when a man shows little emotion, and that can cause big problems in a r/ship.

 

It's not easier for women if you don't fit all the categories for what makes a woman desirable, and if you're not pretty then you're at a disadvantage.

 

What he says is not entirely untrue unfortunately. As men we are constantly told not to criticize women. If we do, we're superficial. On the other hand, we have to have a high class job, we have to earn loads of money, be the fittest guy around and show no emotion whatsoever.

 

The thing is, as a woman, being average is already going to be enough. As a man you have to be amazing at pretty much everything or you will be made fun of. I can see how that puts a strain on some men.

[HeavenOrHell]

Same as men do with women.

 

 

 

To be clear: I like women. I've never disliked them. I do dislike the fact that many women hold men to a highly sexist standard.

[LittleTiger]

To be clear: I like women. I've never disliked them. I do dislike the fact that many women hold men to a highly sexist standard.

 

The young men I am talking about are those who make misogynistic posts on a regular basis, showing a complete lack of respect for women and zero interest in learning about them - like this thread. If that isn't you, I'm very pleased to hear it.

 

All I am asking is that any time a guy thinks about how unfair women are on men and how sexist we are - please remember that it works both ways.

 

There are valid reasons for type of 'advert' the OP posted showing women of all shapes and sizes putting themselves down. One of which is that society (both men and women) have made it clear (from the year dot until this day) that a desirable women has to look a certain way.

 

We are talking hundreds of years of women being put down because they don't match up to some physical ideal. The media bombards us with the image of the perfect woman, magazines and movies make millions out of creating 'perfect women' who don't even exist and shoving it under our noses on a daily basis. Even young children, both boys and girls, have a skewed idea of what women are supposed to look like.

 

The porn industry has gone one stage further and now tells us what shape our breasts should be, how much pubic hair we should(n't) have, and what limits (or lack of them) we should set in the bedroom.

 

There was a TV programme on in the UK a couple of years ago about young people and pornography and they interviewed school aged teenagers. The boys all said they were grossed out by 'normal' breasts - they expected all girls to have breasts like women in porn films. They were grossed out by women's body hair and expected their 16 year old girlfriends to shave or wax pubic hair. They were grossed out by cellulite - yes, even 16 year old girls have it sometimes. They were grossed out by fat, by spots, by stretch marks etc etc etc. They were basically grossed out by any physical 'defect' that didn't conform to porn or magazine 'perfect'!!!

 

On top of that, even when men are in relationships, the vast majority of them still look at these images of 'perfect women'. Their wife or girlfriend has to hope that she measures up in other ways because she sure as hell doesn't measure up physically.

 

Now, I am not going to say that guys don't have it tough, because they clearly do. Most women do expect them to have a decent job, to look after themselves and to be reasonably confident in a social environment, but they do not have a tangible vision of this 'perfect man' thrown in their face every minute of every day. Nor do they find that their wife or girlfriend spends any time flicking through 'brochures' or online 'shops' displaying Mr Perfect personality/body/job/wealth etc.

 

I don't want to make this a competition but, if we are going to talk about 'a highly sexist standard', women hardly get off lightly!

[AlexDP]

Same as men do with women.

 

Not even close and nowhere near as insidious.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

LittleTiger, you're my hero in this thread.

[Toddbt12y1]

What is the desirable range for a woman?

 

120-135 maybe 145 pushing it...in terms of weight.

 

Try being a 200+lb woman, not even the loser of a Guy wants one of those. They do struggle with finding a date.

 

 

I have a friend who dates big girls. Does he love them? No. He manipulates them. Makes them believe he does, cause it's easier to score with a bigger chick for him.(has no job ATM etc.)

 

I wonder how those girls must feel? Desperate. It won't end well. They will be hurt, in the end. Then be alone for a good while.

 

One of the things that is true: women have an easy time scoring. For the most part, a Guy, or there will be a Guy willing to screw any girl. Women decide who does this...so, even out of shape ones can screw. An out of shape Guy...he might can(with an out of shape girl.)

 

I digress though. One of my friends is six 2" and fairly big Guy. But his personality is so great..

 

He actually overcomes his physical limitations and gets nice looking women.

 

In short, both have trouble. Some are hopeless. Some are used. Some make up for their disadvantages. Neither side has it ultimately easy. Women only have it easier in choice of sex. They choose ultimately who sleeps with them...well, some have to choose people like my one friend.

[LittleTiger]

Not even close and nowhere near as insidious.

 

Erm................? You are kidding right?

 

I think you must have missed my previous post - to which I have something to add.....

 

At least the qualities many women ask for are actually attainable. We can all improve our qualifications, career prospects, financial stability, confidence, health and fitness - at least to some extent.

 

Women however can NEVER attain the image of perfection that society has created.

 

That is NEVER EVER!

 

No matter how healthily they eat, how much exercise they do, or even how much cosmetic surgery they have. Not even the women who look that way in magazines and porn actually look that way for real.

 

Everyone on the planet knows this and yet women still have to compete with the imaginary 'perfect woman' - forever!

 

My own mother was talking yesterday about what cosmetic surgery she thought she needed (but will never have because she's not that daft) - she is 74! She's been married to my Dad for over 50 years, he's a really great guy, salt of the earth, loves her to bits and has always been faithful. She is a very attractive 74 year old woman! So what makes her think she needs to look 10 years younger? The insidious sexism against women that still exists in our society despite the apparent women's lib movement.

 

Does my Dad still worry about what kind of shape he's in, what his potential earnings are or how confident he is? He couldn't care less!

[AlexDP]

Erm................? You are kidding right?

 

I think you must have missed my previous post - to which I have something to add.....

 

At least the qualities many women ask for are actually attainable. We can all improve our qualifications, career prospects, financial stability, confidence, health and fitness - at least to some extent.

 

Women however can NEVER attain the image of perfection that society has created.

 

That is NEVER EVER!

 

No matter how healthily they eat, how much exercise they do, or even how much cosmetic surgery they have. Not even the women who look that way in magazines and porn actually look that way for real.

 

Honestly it's women who create that image of perfection in their own mind. Look at the magazines perpetuating that image: they're woman's magazines. The reality is that different men like different women. Yes, men are focused on a woman's body. But there is no such thing as one perfect image every woman should look like. Neither is this notion coming from men.

 

As for the women in porn.. Really? Pretty women don't do porn. Pretty women do movies. Sure, men might want to have sex with women in porn, but they're not goodlooking. The overwhelming majority is just nasty in fact.

 

And men can attain those things? That is the very problem I have with it. Because men can achieve the things women want, they have to get them. If they don't, they're losers. Hell no, most women even go much further than that. If men aren't able to get those qualities, they're "not real men".

 

Stop the boohoo bull****. It's not men telling women what they should look like. It's women. Or were you really worried about what the men might say last time you dressed up for that fancy cocktail party?

[LittleTiger]

Honestly it's women who create that image of perfection in their own mind. Look at the magazines perpetuating that image: they're woman's magazines. The reality is that different men like different women. Yes, men are focused on a woman's body. But there is no such thing as one perfect image every woman should look like. Neither is this notion coming from men.

 

As for the women in porn.. Really? Pretty women don't do porn. Pretty women do movies. Sure, men might want to have sex with women in porn, but they're not goodlooking. The overwhelming majority is just nasty in fact.

 

And men can attain those things? That is the very problem I have with it. Because men can achieve the things women want, they have to get them. If they don't, they're losers. Hell no, most women even go much further than that. If men aren't able to get those qualities, they're "not real men".

 

Stop the boohoo bull****. It's not men telling women what they should look like. It's women. Or were you really worried about what the men might say last time you dressed up for that fancy cocktail party?

 

There is a lot of sociological and anthropolgical research that has gone into what you describe as boohoo bull****. I didn't invent it, society created it - and society includes both men and women.

 

You don't have to attain anything if you don't want to, you don't have to aspire to anything or achieve anything - that is your choice. If you really believe that all women expect, or even want, men to be high achieving and confident you are mistaken. Some women don't want any such thing in a man, just as some men don't want a 'perfect' woman. Be whoever you choose to be and find someone to match.

 

All of my previous comments were about 'society in general' and were just to make a point!

 

Personally, I believe there is pretty much someone for everyone - you just have to get out there and look. As I said initially, I think it is sad when anyone throws hatred and disrespect at the opposite sex, it is unnecessary and will never achieve anything except a good dose of hatred and disrespect in return.

 

I don't dress up for fancy cocktail parties, I'm the sporty type so that's not really my thing. When I do go out though, I don't care what other women look like. That's because I am very confident in my own looks, my personality and my man. I don't aim to be the perfect woman and I don't expect my guy to be the perfect man.....but we love each other anyway. Just like millions of other imperfect men and women.

 

Edit: Oops, I forgot to say that if women do compare themselves to others on a night out it is purely because they know they are in competition and, when it comes to catching a man, looks are what matters most!

Edited January 20, 2013 by LittleTiger

[Anela]

Honestly it's women who create that image of perfection in their own mind. Look at the magazines perpetuating that image: they're woman's magazines. The reality is that different men like different women. Yes, men are focused on a woman's body. But there is no such thing as one perfect image every woman should look like. Neither is this notion coming from men.

 

As for the women in porn.. Really? Pretty women don't do porn. Pretty women do movies. Sure, men might want to have sex with women in porn, but they're not goodlooking. The overwhelming majority is just nasty in fact.

 

And men can attain those things? That is the very problem I have with it. Because men can achieve the things women want, they have to get them. If they don't, they're losers. Hell no, most women even go much further than that. If men aren't able to get those qualities, they're "not real men".

 

Stop the boohoo bull****. It's not men telling women what they should look like. It's women. Or were you really worried about what the men might say last time you dressed up for that fancy cocktail party?

 

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis: two names that have been thrown around a lot on these boards as to what is considered to be the perfect woman, and what men want (a lot of men).

 

There are others. We didn't make that up.