Help What Do I Do? Does He Want Me As Much As I Want Him?

[nelco]

Hi

I need help in figuring out my best friend of 3 yrs. Let me say this first I am 38 and he is 23. Also, I was born both sexes even though I was raised male but am getting ready for surgeries to keep only female and he knows all about this. The problem is he knows I am deeply in love with him but not sure how to read the signals he has given me over the last 3 yrs. Here it is as follows:

 

When we met 3 yrs ago, the very first week he came back to me and said he told his parents all about me and they had no problem with me, the next day he took me into lunch where his mother worked and also drove me around showing me all the houses he grew up in. A few days later he had me meet his older brother.........this was all the first week we met 3 yrs ago.

 

About 5 months after we met we were going out to dinner once a week about $80 each time, he would drive, open all the doors for me and order my meal for me as well. About 2 months after this I need to drive about 2 hours south for something and had a car issue so he told me to just take his and that I could use it whenever I needed to. About 3 months after this he told me if this other friend of mine didnt go with me for my surgery he would go with me for sure. Well, a month after this (2 yrs ago this month) he started dating this girl. I had another friend in my life too all this time who actually was also one of his friends, but that friend dumped me and him out of his life about 2 months after my friend started going with this girl.

 

The girl he started dating told him about this time that they were going to go on 3 trips all paid by her parents but the trips were not going to be for another year. Well my friend and I continued to communicate, in fact, there were several times he would be driving to a club to meet up with his girlfriend and would be talking to me the entire time on the phone. There have been many times he would be talking to me on the phone as he is going over to her place. When they took the 3 trips one of the first things he did when he got back was call me each time.

 

A year ago his parents bought a restaurant. He wanted me there opening night for dinner and the next week opening day for lunch. The girlfriend was nowhere to be found in either case. We also used a luxury suite for hockey games and he brought her to two games, he basically ignored me when she was present but when she was gone would talk to me. He never introduced her to people as his girlfriend just her name. All my friends could tell he was very uncomfortable as well. I should also say that after the second time I walked away from him completely for a week and a half without telling him and he called me for 3 days all worried where I was. When I came around I stopped in the restaurant and he sat with me talking for an entire hour.

 

I have given him deep deep love cards for his birthday and for christmas. Last christmas he gave me a $50 shirt and made me a surprise salmon dinner. I gave him several gifts including 3 coupons for blowjob,massage and a kiss.......he told me I PROBABLY wont need these then went to the kitchen to make me a surprise salmon dinner.

 

This past January he told me that in July he might move in with his girlfriend which never happened he instead has renewed his lease with his brother for another year. Well, last February I told his brother that I thought he might have more than friend feelings for me and his brother told him. He got upset with me in fact tore me to shreds. He said he believed me about my condition but now thinks I am gay and cant face it, he told me the only reason I would come into their family restaurant each week for lunch was to see him, he told me like 30 times in 3 minutes that he had a girlfriend. He finished by saying we are still friends that I just need to tone it down.

 

He didnt communicate with me at all for about 6-7 weeks. At about that time I started going back in for lunch and was paying for my lunch. In May for my birthday I gave him this deep love note telling him I never knew could love someone as much as him etc etc. Since that note when I go for lunch on Tuesday's he asks if I am going to come in again later in the week and tells me what days he works. He always gives me a discount on my lunch and sometimes even pays for it. Since February though, he has called me only one time and he never talks about his girlfriend to me either (I know she is still around though).

 

For the last year we also have been talking about a truck we are looking to get together that he will drive. We are also going on a trip to Vegas and he has picked the Bellagio,room with king bed, wants me to go with him to a strip club and wants to get me drunk. We also know each others families and like each others families. Sometimes I think he is bi or gay and is struggling with it........when he got upset in february with me he said i did the same thing to him that I did to our mutual friend and in the case of the mutual friend I told his mom that her son might be bi or gay, but I did not do this to the friend we are talking about I just told his brother he might have more than friend feelings for me.

 

I am so confused.........does he want me? does he want a life with me? is the girlfriend just a front for him as he figures himself out? what do i do?

 

Thanks!!!

JB

[Love2share]

I think your guy is still trying to figure himself out. You should really keep your feelings toned down. Nothing serious will happen between you two until he figures things out. You sound like you're sure of your feelings. Just remain friends with him.

[nelco]

Hi

Thanks for your reply. I agree. I will say though that I think he knows he wants to be with me BUT not sure when to do it etc etc. I see more a guy who is scared than anything. The fact he does not run from me when I give him DEEP love cards tells me this.

 

JN