nowwhatnow Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 so i became friends with this guy in september and we got really close and he told me that he liked me but just got out of a relationship and wanted to remain single. fast forward a couple months and we were texting all day and seeing each other every couple days. and then i realized i liked him more than a friend and i wasnt able to tell him in person so i texted him that i liked him. but then i was away for work for a while and when i came back and saw him he didnt even mention the text message. and its been normal and weird. then last night i was at a party with him and seeing him meeting girls and stuff made me realize how much i like him and i just dont know what to do. seeing him is fine - but when i dont see him i always wonder what he is up to. but the thought of not seeing him scares me. but it really hurts me when i see him with other girls it sucks when he said he likes me but doesnt want to be with me. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 what response are you looking for.....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 i dont know. i guess im wondering if i should just stop seeing him/ talking to him at all. i thought i was over it until i saw him with other girls. maybe it is too hard just being friends. what are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 My thoughts are that friendship is impossible with someone you love, unless you come to terms, within yourself, quite happily, with the fact that friendship is enough for you. if you really don't think you can do that, or that it's too much to ask of yourself - then you need to create some distance between you, and 'drop off his radar'.... How old are you both....? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Seem young to me. Either way you are 100% correct TM Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 we are both 22. and yes you are probably right - it is just hard because we have become so close over the past couple months and i missed him a lot when i didnt seem for a month. Link to post Share on other sites
picaso28 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 It is hard I am in similar sort of dilemma but deep down I know I need to move on but it is hard. My advice is bite the bullet and distance yourself. Hope it works out for you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 25, 2013 Author Share Posted January 25, 2013 i finally did it. i told him i needed space. so at least he wont be bothering me all the time until i can figure out whether i want to be friends with him or not. i feel relieved, but i also feel like i just lost a close friend Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 LS im having a really hard time not being friends with him at all. like going cold turkey like i did when me and my bf of 2 years broke up is not the same thing. i miss him a lot - but i really miss him as a friend. its like now that i know a relationship is not an option maybe i can get past all of this and just enjoy being friends. what should i do?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 meaning he will only ever see me as friend? its just sucks cuz he is only seeing this other girl cuz she would sleep with him without wanting more and im not like that. i need to be with someone and feel comfortable first. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 meaning he will only ever see me as friend? its just sucks cuz he is only seeing this other girl cuz she would sleep with him without wanting more and im not like that. i need to be with someone and feel comfortable first. ....you are staying true to your convictions. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) meaning he will only ever see me as friend? its just sucks cuz he is only seeing this other girl cuz she would sleep with him without wanting more and im not like that. i need to be with someone and feel comfortable first. you have to look at the fact the girl is givin out and he is willing to have that.take it it is what he wants.....with your convictions he isnt right for you...dotn look at th egirl and think it sucks, that she si the one who is giving what you cant....look at him and think he is taking it from her that is what he would want from you........not her giving it to him ...its all in perception ...put him off the pedastal...distance yourself from this.deb Edited January 31, 2013 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
butterflylover Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I would say to let him be your friend,and then in the future if he does want to have a relationship that's great,but just give him some time. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Look kiddo, I feel for you, we've all been there, but you need to look at this as an addiction that is unhealthy for you : like overeating or too much alcohol. He does not want more. When a guy want's you, he let's you know. Being a friend RIGHT NOW makes YOU feel like crap. So there is no plus to this equation, again, RIGHT NOW. Move on with your life, put distance between yourself and ANYTHING that makes you feel bad, and who knows what the future holds ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 My thoughts are that friendship is impossible with someone you love, unless you come to terms, within yourself, quite happily, with the fact that friendship is enough for you. if you really don't think you can do that, or that it's too much to ask of yourself - then you need to create some distance between you, and 'drop off his radar'.... I have to go back to what TaraMaiden said, and I speak from my own experience. The way he is acting he only sees you as a friend. No matter what you may think in your heart, you cannot do anything, make any change in yourself where he will see you as anything more than a friend, except of course... I am sure he would be fine with being FWBs, but I am certain that is not the kind of relationship you seek. It's easy to fall for that trap, but it's a dead end. In that kind of relationship, you are still friendzoned when the clothes are on. And it will devastate you even more when he sees other women that might catch his interest for a LTR. Again, in my experience, even friendship will be heartbreaking for you. I fall on the side with those who recommend that you break contact. As difficult as NC may be, it will be a whole lot easier in the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
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