anyone have an ex who dumped you, then got upset when they found out you met someone?

[tuxedo cat]

My ex essentially dumped me and for no good reason since he had been the one treating me badly. I technically initiated the breakup by suggesting that we take a break, but it was he who insisted on a complete break up.

 

After our relationship dissolved we stayed in fairly regular contact. During a two week period where we fell out of touch I met someone new. One day my ex called me out of the blue, and I told him the news. He said, "You whatt??" After pausing for a long time he said in a pained voice that he had to get off the phone.

 

An hour later I received a mopey email saying the news "hit him hard" and that he missed me so much. I asked him if he wanted to stay in touch as friends. He wrote back, "eventually but not now". A week later he sent me a ":(" text. I asked him how he was doing, but he responded that he can't talk right now.

 

I've never had a guy dump me and then act scorned when I move on. Usually they are a bit sad but they won't be so hurt that they have to cut off contact with me.

 

Anyone else have an ex act like this?

[stevie_23]

I would say that he “blames” you for this breakup. From an objective viewpoint, you both had problems in the relationship, you initiated a temporary break, he got insulted / rejected / hurt and possibly agreed there were problems that may even have been too big for a temporary break, and made the break permanent. He may not have actually wanted this though and may somehow hold you responsible.

 

He may have been able to continue on fairly ok as long as you were “the same” as him. Sad, regretful, etc. But as soon as you move on and find feelings for someone else? Suddenly he is “worse” than you because he’s left behind, especially if he feels the situation is something YOU are to blame for, and he now feels alone too, because he’s the only one feeling sad about things.

[amaysngrace]

Yeah well since you suggested a break and now are with someone new, he may very well think you met the other guy while you were still with him.

 

I've been a dumper who doubted it for a second when he got someone new right away (my exH) until I realized even if he wasn't with anybody I still wouldn't want him so I got over it.

 

But your breakup is different. You wanted the break so that technically makes you the dumper.

[Love Bites]

Yeah and then she suddenly went cold and cut me out of her life. I mean you dumped me and you're mad because I moved on..why?

[winstonsdreams]

I can tell you from the dumpers POV that of course it hurts when your ex moves on fast. I broke up with my ex and she moved on fast.

 

I felt like an idiot for still feeling guilty for hurting her, when she had already moved on. I called her to check up on her and she laughed at me and said i was an idiot and i was going to die alone. Pretty nice thing to say really.

 

The only remedy was to completely cut her off.

[Sugarkane]

I can tell you from the dumpers POV that of course it hurts when your ex moves on fast. I broke up with my ex and she moved on fast.

 

I felt like an idiot for still feeling guilty for hurting her, when she had already moved on. I called her to check up on her and she laughed at me and said i was an idiot and i was going to die alone. Pretty nice thing to say really.

 

The only remedy was to completely cut her off.

 

She was probably mad at you if she was the dumpee. Yet I've had dumpers say equally mean things to me despite never cheating and treating them well.

[Amelie1980]

Totally. in my experience when someone dumps you, they don't want you but don't necessarily want anyone else to have you either.

[fallenheart]

If they dumped you, and still get "angry" or "jealous" if you find someone new, it certainly isn't an indication that they want you back. They just want the attention and adoration. They like knowing that someone is pining for them. They don't really want you to be happy....they like knowing that they have the power to make someone miserable and alone. When that goes away, they miss that feeling of importance. They don't miss YOU, just the attention.

[RogerWallace111]

^ bitter puss

 

 

Yes, regardless of who did the dumping, any former lover can feel sh*tty when the other has someone new in their life. Especially if the breakup was because of incompatibility or something like that, where you never necessarily "fell out of love", but knew the relationship wasn't working. Obviously there were enjoyable things about the other person and their affection for any romance to have occurred, and seeing someone else enjoy that can/will hurt. Regardless of how many reasons you have to not be with them...

[Vander77]

My ex essentially dumped me and for no good reason since he had been the one treating me badly. I technically initiated the breakup by suggesting that we take a break, but it was he who insisted on a complete break up.

 

After our relationship dissolved we stayed in fairly regular contact. During a two week period where we fell out of touch I met someone new. One day my ex called me out of the blue, and I told him the news. He said, "You whatt??" After pausing for a long time he said in a pained voice that he had to get off the phone.

 

An hour later I received a mopey email saying the news "hit him hard" and that he missed me so much. I asked him if he wanted to stay in touch as friends. He wrote back, "eventually but not now". A week later he sent me a ":(" text. I asked him how he was doing, but he responded that he can't talk right now.

 

I've never had a guy dump me and then act scorned when I move on. Usually they are a bit sad but they won't be so hurt that they have to cut off contact with me.

 

Anyone else have an ex act like this?

 

I can honestly say that as the dumpee multiple times with the same woman that it was a "game" to her. We would split up and after about a month or so of her out testing the waters, she would text/call me up and make sure I wasn't out doing someone new. It's a control issue and he wants you to feel sad and alone just like he is. He wants you to chase after him but you have met someone new already. This crushes his hopes of ever getting back together with you and now knowing that you are out doing fun things with the new guy makes him feel rejected. Trust me as "that guy" I know how it feels to have someone you care about move on with their life without a care in the world as to how it affects me.

 

In your case, and I don't know you, is this a rebound? If so, then think real long and hard if you truly want to move on. If you do, then at least have the decency to tell your ex that you have moved on and delete him permanently from your life. Don't do what my ex did and send me random texts asking how I was doing, as it will just screw him up more in the head. My ex enjoys the head games and I will not play them anymore. Just some 2 cents for ya to think about.