Stupid Question: Are there medications for social-phobias? Self-esteem?

[popmusik]

My Girlfriend Suffers from a very Low Self-Esteem. She's 25.

 

We can hardly ever really go out with friends or with someone she doesn't

 

Know because she's too shy and worries about what they will think about her.

 

She's totally comfortable with me. She can get comfy with people once she knows them,

 

But she has turned down wayy too many get-togethers and sometimes just stays home

 

and does nothing, gets down etc etc. she also gets down because she lacks the drive

 

To accomplish her goals, because she thinks she's not good enough and is really hung up

 

on her looks and weight.(she's totally beautiful and not overweight at ALL!)

 

Is this a problem that can be remedied by Medications? Are there medicines that help with

 

Social-Phobias? Or ones that would help mellow her out, Not be so worried about things?

[Moose]

Wellebutrin is the best medication for this in my opinion.

[HokeyReligions]

There are many different types of problems, such as depression and anxiety, for which these are symptoms. She needs to see a doctor to rule out physical medical problems, and see a psychiatrist to determine if she suffers from depression, etc. and get into counseling along with a prescribed medication treatment plan. This is not something that you can cure her of--even if you were a professional. You are too close.

 

Look up depression and social anxiety on the internet and see what options are recommended. You can address this with her, but ultimately it is her decision if she wants to pursue change, or self-manage and live as she is living. If she does not want to change, then you will have to look at the long-run and ask yourself if you want to stay in a relationship with her.

 

Sometimes a few counseling sessions in the beginning, proper medication and a few follow-up counseling sessions are all that is needed to help someone get on track with their life.

[pav186]

Yeah, there are SSRI meds that can help...i think Paxil is used a for social anxiety, she may have an anxiety disorder. I have social anxiety too but i'm not on any meds right now, but I have some of the same problems but I try to just go out anyways and it has helped when I force myself to do it regardless of the anxiety, but i still get anxious when meeting new people or putting myself in social situations where I feel like I will need to be very outgoing...

 

if she acknowledges that she may have a disorder she may be willing to go talk to someone.

[honey2005]

I agree, she should see a doctor to find out what is causing her to feel this way, and let the doctor prescribe her with the medicine he sees fit. I saw on tv that Zoloft can work for social anxiety and Paxil does, too.

[goodnbad]

I was also thinking like the others that maybe your gf is depressed. If she is overly concerned with her looks and weight (although she is not overweight), I would also wonder if maybe she is suffering from an eating disorder and/or body dismorphic disorder (where they cannot see themselves as anything but 'fat and ugly').

 

There are some good meds out there for all of the above, but I would be careful with Wellbrutrin if there is an ED involved, since it can make it worse. As for Paxil, well, I had a bad experience with it myself when I took it for anxiety attacks, but I would not rule it out for anyone else.

 

If your gf and doctor agree on the meds part, I would ask that you keep an extra close eye on her behaviour for a while. Sometimes it changes people for the worse and they have a hard time seeing it themselves, although again, I'm sure that it does work wonders for some people as well.

 

Good luck, huh?

goodnbad

[popmusik]

thank you all for the advice...

 

i agree, she needs to go see a counselor or talk to her doc.

 

I mean, I can't even invite our friend Chris and his

 

girlfriend over to our place because God forbid, his girlfriend strikes up a friendly conversation

 

and asks my GF about her goals or her job, etc.

 

She hates the question:

 

"So what have you been up to, where ya headed in life?" because

 

She fears looking stupid or like a failure, yet She Does Nothing About it!!!

 

I constantly tell her she's beautiful and talented and encourage her and nurture her,

 

But she still acts the same way. Not sure if I can handle it anymore. I got my own problems,

 

and although i care about her immensly, I can only encourage her and nurture her so much, without

 

any change on her part. . . .

[goodnbad]

Sounds to me like she is depressed and/or dealing with personal demons that probably have nothing at all to do with you. I think when you're feeling that low, having others talk about how great their own life is (or asking about what they are doing themselves) only makes their own seem that much more worthless.

 

If she is not doing anything about her situation (and seems to want to), maybe she is afraid of making any changes. Perhaps it is more than a case of 'laziness' which seems to be what you are inferring.

 

Your urging her to see a counsellor may or not be taken constructively by her, depending on her state of mind. Don't be too insulted if she decides she doesn't need it (in other words, cannot deal with it right now) or thinks you are accusing her of being crazy. There still is a lot of stigma associated with 'getting help'.

 

Good luck in any event.

 

goodnbad