breaking up

[sparkle]

What's the best way to break up with someone?

 

I've been going out with this guy for almost 2 months.

 

I want to break it off VERY nicely, and possibly remain friends. I don't know what to say though. In the past,

 

I've broken up with guys after a fight or because we were

 

at each other's throats, so it's easier to end things then.

 

But with this guy, I still like him. But we just don't click. I don't know what would be the best thing to say to him, so that he doesn't start hating me.

[Tony T]

Many men have fragile egos so there's no really easy way to let a them down, particularly if they're very fond of you.

 

The best way to do it in all cases is to be honest. In your case, let him know you enjoy his friendship and have a great deal of respect for him. But let him know that there are things missing between the two of you...and that's quite fine. Not everyone is meant to be together. Let him know that you just don't feel there is a future for the two of you as a couple...but a great future as friends.

 

You might even tell him that you gave it a lot of thought and you feel so strongly about the importance of his friendship that you feel you ought to end the dating relationship now in order to preserve that friendship.

 

But listen to me real closely. Any guy who makes it difficult for you to break up with him is a total and complete jerk and their behavior at that time only underscores your need to stop dating them. So you can't lose any way.

 

When ladies used to break up with me, they were startled at the way I handled it. I just gave them a hug and told them how much I appreciated the time we spent together...and, believe it or not, I have remained friends with most of them to one degree or another. Some of them even got back with me a few years later. It was just great.

 

The biggest problem with men is their infantile immaturity. Many are just big babies. If men would be mature and react like men, the world would be a much better place.

 

Break up with this guy, be honest with him, and remember that you are not responsible for his response or for his feelings. Just be as nice as you can and then go on your merry way.

[Deejette]

There is no easy way to break up and sometimes guys resent that "Let's be friends" approach. But if you let him know how highly you think of him in all ways and that you feel terrible about it and hope you are not hurting him too much, he may be very understanding about it.

Many men have fragile egos so there's no really easy way to let a them down, particularly if they're very fond of you. The best way to do it in all cases is to be honest. In your case, let him know you enjoy his friendship and have a great deal of respect for him. But let him know that there are things missing between the two of you...and that's quite fine. Not everyone is meant to be together. Let him know that you just don't feel there is a future for the two of you as a couple...but a great future as friends. You might even tell him that you gave it a lot of thought and you feel so strongly about the importance of his friendship that you feel you ought to end the dating relationship now in order to preserve that friendship. But listen to me real closely. Any guy who makes it difficult for you to break up with him is a total and complete jerk and their behavior at that time only underscores your need to stop dating them. So you can't lose any way. When ladies used to break up with me, they were startled at the way I handled it. I just gave them a hug and told them how much I appreciated the time we spent together...and, believe it or not, I have remained friends with most of them to one degree or another. Some of them even got back with me a few years later. It was just great.

 

The biggest problem with men is their infantile immaturity. Many are just big babies. If men would be mature and react like men, the world would be a much better place. Break up with this guy, be honest with him, and remember that you are not responsible for his response or for his feelings. Just be as nice as you can and then go on your merry way.

[sparkle]

Thank you Tony and Deejette,

 

Your posts were very helpful. My bf and I had jumped into a relationship too quickly..and I told him I wasn't ready

 

for one right now, but that I wanted to talk to him, be friends with him..get to know him better first.

 

He was very understanding. He told me he liked me and apologized for stuff, but also said he understood and agreed with what I was saying, and that he'd still be there for me.

 

It wasn't at all how I expected. We hugged, went to 7-11, bought and ate some chocolate together, went to Borders and bought some magazines. For some weird reason, after that talk, I felt better and it was fun cause we were just hanging out.

 

We'll just let things flow naturally.

 

Thank you!