I think I made a big mistake...

[samantha1989]

So, I've met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I cannot wait to start that life! We've discussed where we will live, children, finances, our future home, location, pets, weddings, etc... We've been dating for around a year and I had my own trust issues to work out, but he quickly proved to be the most amazing man I've ever met. You know how they say, "Don't have a child with someone if you don't want a child exactly like them?" I would be more than happy to have a child exactly like him. He's not perfect and neither am I, but he's absolutely perfect for me.

 

Last month... We were at a ring store and he suggested that we pick out and ring and he would buy it and he could propose the next night. I kinda laughed it off and he seemed hurt so I quickly changed the subject and we left for dinner. Now I'm thinking that I made a huge mistake and he won't want to approach the subject for awhile because of this. Why am I such an idiot???

[loversquarrel]

Don't worry about it, you aren't an idiot. You are obviously in love with him. Talk to him about it, i'm sure he will understand. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. It isn't hard, just open your mouth and let your heart do the rest.

[RR1]

Yes i think Loversquarrel has it right, it's totally natural to be a little shocked when your loved one first mentions the "M" word so you probably didn't react the way you hoped you would or certainly the way he hoped you would. That's ok, it's really not the end of the world, he'll get that i should think. Nobody can get a marriage proposal and not need a bit of time to think it over. So that's basically all you have to say, i just needed a bit of time to think things over so i wsn't sure what to say at the time. Don't worry, if he loves you enough to want to marry you he isn't going to have changed his mind over night. He's probably sitting at home praying and hoping that you'll say yes once you have thought it over.

 

It's only right that you take a little time to think it over, if you are like me then you'll see marriage as a permanent commitment to someone you love dearly and want to spend your life with. So many people nowadays see marriage as something they can just enter in and out of on a whim. My mum for example was married four times, i took that as a good example of how not to do it. I always said that i would only marry someone i loved with all my heart. To me marriage means i'm totally committing myself to someone because i can't imagine spending my life with someone else. For it to truly mean something and be special you haave to know that the person you are proposing too is that special one, that unique individual that speaks to your inner soul in a way that no other person can. It's a magical feeling when you have it, you'll just know it instinctively. Your b/f obviously feels that connection with you and you must also feel it with him to be writing about it to us. Of course you can still have that commitment without being married but i just think it makes things that extra bit special between you both. If one of you proposes to the other i feel that they must have very deep feelings that you are the one for them.

 

I really do believe that it's a brilliant feeling to know that someone loves you that much. As for how you bring the subject-up again. I think that's pretty easy, just suggest going out somewhere, or invite him round and cook some dinner and then just drop a hint. It could be anything as long as marrriage is in the hint, something along the lines of one of my friends is getting married next month, one of my work colleagues has just gone on her honeymoon or something like that. That should be enough of a hint to get him to bring up the subject again.

 

Best of luck and be sure to let us know when the marriage proposal arrives.

[coffeebean201]

Maybe tell him you want to enjoy the experience and go a little slower, but you love him very much, and you felt a little rushed, but you definitely want to make your future together a reality (or something to that effect).

[samantha1989]

Maybe tell him you want to enjoy the experience and go a little slower, but you love him very much, and you felt a little rushed, but you definitely want to make your future together a reality (or something to that effect).

 

I do want to enjoy the experience for sure! But the funny thing is, I don't feel rushed. And I don't want more time. I feel as if I've met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I just want that life to start now, you know?

 

Yes i think Loversquarrel has it right, it's totally natural to be a little shocked when your loved one first mentions the "M" word so you probably didn't react the way you hoped you would or certainly the way he hoped you would. That's ok, it's really not the end of the world, he'll get that i should think. Nobody can get a marriage proposal and not need a bit of time to think it over. So that's basically all you have to say, i just needed a bit of time to think things over so i wsn't sure what to say at the time. Don't worry, if he loves you enough to want to marry you he isn't going to have changed his mind over night. He's probably sitting at home praying and hoping that you'll say yes once you have thought it over.

 

It's only right that you take a little time to think it over, if you are like me then you'll see marriage as a permanent commitment to someone you love dearly and want to spend your life with. So many people nowadays see marriage as something they can just enter in and out of on a whim. My mum for example was married four times, i took that as a good example of how not to do it. I always said that i would only marry someone i loved with all my heart. To me marriage means i'm totally committing myself to someone because i can't imagine spending my life with someone else. For it to truly mean something and be special you haave to know that the person you are proposing too is that special one, that unique individual that speaks to your inner soul in a way that no other person can. It's a magical feeling when you have it, you'll just know it instinctively. Your b/f obviously feels that connection with you and you must also feel it with him to be writing about it to us. Of course you can still have that commitment without being married but i just think it makes things that extra bit special between you both. If one of you proposes to the other i feel that they must have very deep feelings that you are the one for them.

 

I really do believe that it's a brilliant feeling to know that someone loves you that much. As for how you bring the subject-up again. I think that's pretty easy, just suggest going out somewhere, or invite him round and cook some dinner and then just drop a hint. It could be anything as long as marrriage is in the hint, something along the lines of one of my friends is getting married next month, one of my work colleagues has just gone on her honeymoon or something like that. That should be enough of a hint to get him to bring up the subject again.

 

Best of luck and be sure to let us know when the marriage proposal arrives.

 

Thank you for your fantastic input!!! I really only want to marry one man in my entire life. I don't want any 'redo's' and for him, marriage is even more sacred (if that's possible) than it is for me. When he gets married, there won't be a second marriage. That will be it.

 

I definitely didn't react the way I wanted! Hahah to say the very very very least. I've been kicking myself since that moment! I'm just very confused as to what he wants me to do in this situation. He just suggested we buy a ring and he propose at dinner and I didn't react how I wanted. But now he hasn't brought it up since and I'm starting to feel like one of those girls... I did as you suggested and mentioned a friend that was getting married and some of their details and he just thought it was a cute idea.

 

Don't worry about it, you aren't an idiot. You are obviously in love with him. Talk to him about it, i'm sure he will understand. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. It isn't hard, just open your mouth and let your heart do the rest.

 

I can talk to him about anything! That is true. But part of me is scared that I'll say "So.... Ready to get married now? How's tomorrow? Does that work?"

[pink_sugar]

Last month... We were at a ring store and he suggested that we pick out and ring and he would buy it and he could propose the next night.

 

I'm kind of surprised he told you when he was going to propose. Doesn't that take the surprise out of it?

[loversquarrel]

My girlfriend wants us to get married, and she is very vocal yet patient about it. She usually tells me "If I could marry you tomorrow I would". I don't ever get put off by it. It actually makes me feel good. Don't be scared.

[Lauriebell82]

Why did you laugh it off when he said he was going to propose? If that's what you want, then I would think you'd be like "hell yeah!"

 

If it was just a weird subconscious reaction, then I suggest that you tell him so. Apologize for laughing it off, and just reassure him that you do want to marry him, and to propose whenever he wants to. And leave it at that.

 

I can talk to him about anything! That is true. But part of me is scared that I'll say "So.... Ready to get married now? How's tomorrow? Does that work?"

 

Why would you say something like that? What is making you feel that way?

Edited January 23, 2013 by Lauriebell82

[RR1]

I can understand why someone would not totally react the way that they might have hoped. Marriage is a big commitment even when you know it's to someone who is the right one for you. Some people can say yes straight away and others may need a day or two to think it over so to buy some thinking time they say something to brush the situation off and get a bit of thinking time. It's really easy to say the wrong thing and then kick ourselves afterwwards. How many of us have never said something and then been kicking ourseleves afterwards thinking to ourselves why did we say that. Come on we have all done it. That doesn't mean the situation is irreversable. Far from it. Make contact, show you are interested and the situation will all fall into place i'm sure. If he's sure you are his "special one" he isn't going to dump you off just because you needed some time to think about it. If anything he'll know you are completely sure because you have had your thinking time and you have decided you do want to marry him. Go for it.