I cant take this insecurity any longer.

[eatmyshovel]

Hi everyone.

 

I havent been on this site in a while. Well, im in a situation right now. More like a crossroad. Ive been asking myself should I go or leave alot lately. And honestly ive been spending way too much time STRESSING. And btw, theres going to be alot of reading.

 

Im a 20 year old guy, and ive been involved with a 21 year girl for the past 3 years. Of course we had our ups and downs, but lately its been too many downs. For me anyways. I just dont feel secure in this relationship. Is it normal to bring up the past in your head?

Well heres my story. About 5 months ago, she dumps me. And then she goes out with another guy afterwards. Of course i was kind of got jealous. WE hooked up for a night a week later. In a way to add insult to injury, i found out later that she slept with the guy(hes 18 for f***s sake) a day after at my old highschool...(they both never came from that highschool, and the reason they why she went there because one of our friends had a martial arts tournament that we were supposed to go to.. she was supposed to call me that day, but i guess someone was too busy messing around. anywho. At that moment, i kinda felt like crap... imean how could she do this.?! IT was my school and NOT HERS and our friend doesnt .. well lets just say kind of lost respect for her(her friend is a she btw). (PART 1)

 

My friends found out about this and they told me to leave her, cuz shes a ho. I made the big mistake of letting her know what my friends said about her, and she went on saying that why i didnt protect her, and why i wasnt loyal, and blablabla. (THIS IS PART 2) I mean theyre my friends and they could be wrong, but hey, at least they were there for me.

 

We got back together afterwards. But again, she kept in contact with this f*** friend after all this time. She knows he wants her(she told me :-s) and she still talks to him in hopes that everything will calm down between him and her.... (PART 3)

 

Alright, finally, she just told me last week that she is now sharing a locker with the guy. THAT WAS IT FOR ME! i yelled at her, told her i cant believe that shes doing that, and brought up the past and how she kind of ruined my highschool and how she left me for some shmuck(remember? she didnt call me that day) i got it all out, then i kind of dumped her 2 days afterwards, but she started to cry and all, and told me that i hurt her feelings by saying all of that(i actually used the word hate somewehre there) so i told her ill think about it. FAST FORWARD 3 days later and we get back together. blablabla. right. anyways, i tell her that i dont want her to see the guy anymore or talk to him. shes the type of person that if you tell them one thing, they will feel something else, or do for that matter. She goes on to say that if she gets rid of him , i have to get rid of my friends that called her a ho. I dont know why i said this , i told her to keep the guy around( i dont know.. i dont want to lose my friends) because he has done nothing to me.

 

honestly guys and gals, i want things to work out between me and her, but i dont want to be constantly reminded whenever i go to her school that shes sharing a locker with her thing. In a way, i feel offended, and i feel extremly insecure. I want things to work out, but i cant take this. I dont want to bring this up anymore( i have brought him up alot after part 1 happend) , she thinks everything is ok now, because of last talk, but in my mind, I dont want to have to be jealous, and insecure about everything. I want to be able to love her, and at this point Im really afraid if I let this go, she might do something else i was thinking of letting things settle or whatever, but I just dont know what to tell, and when to. guys, your input would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

THANKS!

[darkside121]

The same thing just happened to me, man. My girlfriend and I have been together for three years and we got to the point of stressing over it when things got really bad. I mean, everything was great but then, boom. Suddenly everything went wrong. She had just graduated from high school, was unsure of what she wanted, and she needed a break from us. So, she sleeps with her first boyfriend who she used to date in 7th grade (no sex was involved), WHO WAS DATING HER COUSIN (I know, I know... Jerry Sringer strikes again)... Now she is back wanting "us" again and her **** buddy came clean to his girlfriend about the whole mess. She forgave him and the three of them all hang out at each other's houses. I mean, they spend the night with each other all week long! She calls me on her cell phone, says she misses me... you know? Same old bit. Get this... SHE WANTS ME TO BE FRIENDS WITH THIS CREEP! So we are kinda in the same situation. My best advice for you is, if you are going to hold on, HOLD on. I have already decided that I am going to give it my ALL. I mean, this girl is my soulmate, you know? I am sure you feel the same way (maybe not though). We all know how love is. BUT, IF YOU KEEP HAVING THESE INSECURITY EPISODES, GET RID OF HER NOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!! THE FEELING WILL NEVER LEAVE IF YOU ARE INSECURE AFTER A WHILE. How long is awhile? You be the judge of that. I am a bit of a massochist myself when it comes to love, and knowing when to stop causing myself pain. But I warn you, don't put up with any crap. Your dignity can be saved even if your relationship can't. I hope this was of some help to you.

-Dave