Danblock Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Long story short This girl I had a thing for the past two years finally broke up with her bf and she knows I know about this. What can I do to progress this (jumping the gun) and not end up in the friend zone? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Nothing right now. I doubt she's ready to jump straight into another relationship as she's most likely not over the last. It's going to look super tacky if you make it obvious you're trying to get with her. Just be supportive right now as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Sex_Panther Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 If your trying to rush into a relationship with her, you'll end up being the rebound guy. I also know from personal experience being the supportive guy that lets the girl cry on her shoulder normally are put into the friend zone. As cold as it sounds, your not trying to be her friend, your trying to be her boyfriend. So if it were me I would give her some space for awhile and come back later when she is over the relationship she was just in. Ask her out and see where it goes from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 If your trying to rush into a relationship with her, you'll end up being the rebound guy. I also know from personal experience being the supportive guy that lets the girl cry on her shoulder normally are put into the friend zone. As cold as it sounds, your not trying to be her friend, your trying to be her boyfriend. So if it were me I would give her some space for awhile and come back later when she is over the relationship she was just in. Ask her out and see where it goes from there. i fi was attracted to a guy the last thing i would do would be cry on his shoulder.....its not attractive to do that, it is a friend zone thing unless of course he is going out with you then you share those tears with your best friend,,,,,hoepfully without the snot on his shirt and in the tissues...see not attractive.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I also know from personal experience being the supportive guy that lets the girl cry on her shoulder normally are put into the friend zone. In my experience, this is a myth. A woman who is out of a relationship and cries on a guy's shoulder after a relationship does NOT always end up friendzoning him. It comes down to something very simple: ATTRACTION. After I broke up with my ex, my male friend was my rock for a good half a year. Now the same guy is my boyfriend. Why? Because attraction was always there. But, of course, I would never have done anything about it when I was in a relationship, or right after when I wasn't over my ex yet. In my opinion, the time spent with him as just friends was the whole reason why we got together in the end. We got to know each other very well and forged a great friendship which ultimately was the basis for our current relationship. He later admitted that he had always liked me. So, I'm going to play devil's advocate and give the OP the opposite advice. There's no need for you to distance yourself from her. Take the opportunity to be there for her and get to know her better. Invite her to do stuff with other friends, and when you become more comfortable together, ask her to do things with just you. But don't start trying to put the moves on her so soon. Remember she's just out of a relationship, and she may see you as downright predatory if you try to do that. Say things like "C'mon, I think you need to have some fun to get your mind off things", to make sure she knows you're just her friend (at least for now). If attraction is there on her part, in time, things will change. If not... well, you knew this was a possibility. At least, you'll have made a pretty good friend. -A 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 If your trying to rush into a relationship with her, you'll end up being the rebound guy. I also know from personal experience being the supportive guy that lets the girl cry on her shoulder normally are put into the friend zone. As cold as it sounds, your not trying to be her friend, your trying to be her boyfriend. So if it were me I would give her some space for awhile and come back later when she is over the relationship she was just in. Ask her out and see where it goes from there. I married the "rebound." Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 It also depends on how she operates. If she's the type who will be looking to date fairly soon, its entirely possible that if you don't make a move of some kind, someone else might well do so. How well do you know her? Link to post Share on other sites
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