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Can I get a 2nd chance?


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My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago (he broke up with me). We got back into contact 3 months later, he said he still had feelings for me and wanted to keep in touch as friends so we decided we were in a "gray area." He seemed to be pursuing me all over again w/ calls and emails and we maintained a friendship for about a month. But it was weird to cross into friendship with an ex, and yet more and more he began to claim that all he wanted was a friendship...and he wouldn't reciprocate any of my physical advances! I told him it was too hard to be friends, and he agreed that I wasn't in that "place" where I was ready to just be friends. So we haven't spoken/had contact for over a month. But I still think about him everyday...so last week when I was drunk, I called him and left a message on his cell. He called back the next night (and left a message for me) saying to try him back but that he was going to be somewhere where he wouldn't get phone service, so he said to leave a message to let him know how I was doing. I haven't called back and it's now been 1 week. I want to call back, but I also still wish we were back together, so seeing as how he's acted towards me, do you suggest to let it go and forget about him or try to get in touch again and see if he still has any feelings towards me anymore?

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Your ex has been clear that he doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you. Sure, he still cares. Maybe he'd even be glad to have sex if he wasn't worried it would suck him back into a relationship. But, he wants to be free -- and that means free to pursue other girls.

 

Give that you still have romantic feelings for him, any friendship is going to be your way of trying to keep the romantic option open or win him back. Don't do it. It's only going to hurt you in the shortrun and -- in the longrun -- waste your time, time that you could be using to heal and eventually find someone who cares enough about you to keep you in his life as a gf, not as a former gf who has not rights.

 

He's managing you -- don't you see that? He's trying to keep you close but not too close. That effectively strings you along. Cut the string and go for good.

 

-- uriel

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