charlietheginger Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Charlie, it is NOWHERE near that expensive if you do it right. No woman has to get plucked or get highlights. Please read, for example, my posts....light make up, it's cheap. I mean you want hours in the gym but 10 min on make up is somehow offensive. That's goofy. I'm sure part of why you work out is cause it makes you look better. I wear make up cause it also makes me look better. So what's the difference? and also, my tinted moisturizer does have health benefits as it moisturizes my skin It's all good......you may like hairy and unkempt "natural" women and that's cool but I'm sure you wouldn't dump a chick for putting on eyeliner. He wants her in lipstick full makeup and earings If you read the first post he says she dont wear makeup And they have been out bythemselves with friends and Family . yes a lil make up is cheap and effective. But he Wants her looking like shes going to a newyears eve Party all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I realize this might sound shallow....I'm sorry for that. So, here it goes. I am exclusive with this fabulous sweet sweet woman. She is everything I want in a partner and I see this as being a long long haul relationship. She is a very pretty woman. The first few times we went out (we've been seeing each other for 3 months) she wore make-up, lipstick and earings and since then she hasn't accept one time for New Year's Eve. I like a girl to pretty herself up with those things, that is my taste. It's not like we have stayed in everytime since our third date. We have been out by ourselves and with friends and family. Is there any way I can address this with her without coming across as a total shallow jerk? I don't think it's any more shallow than liking people to dress appropriately, bathe, take care of basic hygenie, etc. Having worn stage makeup as an actor and seen plenty of these issues, I honestly believe that people tend to look better, in terms of what is accepted as "beauty" (which is obviously subject to the beholder) with makeup on. Properly done, it highlights attractive attributes and draws attention to certain elements of a person, for men and women alike. And its been used to do so for a long time. Obviously, it's somewhat expected that women wear it more than men in our society. That isn't neccessarily fair...but a lot of social expectations aren't fair, with regard to both men and women. My ex-wife used to wear makeup all the time, dress nice, etc. After a couple of years, even if we were going out on a nice date or to an event, she stopped wearing makeup, or worse, she kept her makeup on for several days. It looked sloppy, and had the opposite effect she intended. She also stopped dressing up, and started wearing sweatpants, etc, VS something more flattering. This stuff sends a message to a lot of people, and it can seem like your partner doesn't care anymore when stuff like this happens. Sometimes they don't. After awhile, you tend to start to notice the obvious: other women (and even some men) seem to give a damn about their appearance, and they look pretty great, and by comparison, your partner doesn't. And if that's an issue for you, then that's an issue. I don't see any point in dancing around it. Tell her that you think she looks amazing with makeup on, and that you appreciate the extra effort she puts into her appearance as it shows you that she cares about her appearance and wants to look good, and you're drawn to that about her. And be willing to do something for her if she likes something that you do to look good, or a particular "look" on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Youre reading comprehension is lacking. I didnt say women should look equal to men. Im saying they deserve equal treatment. I assure you from my time on this forum and from living life, that the vast majority of women wish they had the luxury men have in not constantly being subjected to harsher beauty standards. it was a tongue-in-cheek reply. nevermind and moving on. i am a woman. i have been around vast number of women. and we actually like to get our hair done, and we like to make ourselves pretty. you are telling me that i am delusional and in fact would like to walk around with a mono brow, pit hair and hairy legs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I merely stated a double standard existed (fact), and that I hoped OP liked to dress up and stuff too. I made a short initial post in this thread...and apparently someone else felt strongly enough to get into a larger discussion with me about it. *kanye shrug* OP mentioned that he also takes care of his appearance when asked. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 it was a tongue-in-cheek reply. nevermind and moving on. i am a woman. i have been around vast number of women. and we actually like to get our hair done, and we like to make ourselves pretty. you are telling me that i am delusional and in fact would like to walk around with a mono brow, pit hair and hairy legs You missed the part about different societies conditioning men and women to like different things, and how women liking shaving is a new thing in human history. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I merely stated a double standard existed (fact), and that I hoped OP liked to dress up and stuff too. I made a short initial post in this thread...and apparently someone else felt strongly enough to get into a larger discussion with me about it. *kanye shrug* It's not a double standard and that's what you fail to see. Men AND women have to prep to look good to go out. So my wife takes 45 minutes and I take 30. You're gonna argue for that 15 minutes? Really? 15 minutes is THAT big a deal? I don't know where you go out with women, but when my wife and I go out, we dress to impress. We hit local trendy clubs, bars...dinners at very nice restaurants (where I will sometimes wear a suit, adding another 20 minutes to my prep time), Vegas trips where EVERYONE gets all primped up and fancy, etc. No one is FORCING us to do it. We don't do it cuz society deems we should. We do it cuz the payoff (looking good) is more than worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 It's not a double standard and that's what you fail to see. Men AND women have to prep to look good to go out. So my wife takes 45 minutes and I take 30. You're gonna argue for that 15 minutes? Really? 15 minutes is THAT big a deal? I don't know where you go out with women, but when my wife and I go out, we dress to impress. We hit local trendy clubs, bars...dinners at very nice restaurants (where I will sometimes wear a suit, adding another 20 minutes to my prep time), Vegas trips where EVERYONE gets all primped up and fancy, etc. No one is FORCING us to do it. We don't do it cuz society deems we should. We do it cuz the payoff (looking good) is more than worth it. Women are expected to prep much differently and WAY more effectively than men. So yes, double standard. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 You missed the part about different societies conditioning men and women to like different things, and how women liking shaving is a new thing in human history. Ahh, good old social engineering ...... Still, the question is how harmful is makeup to the women who enjoy it? I happen to prefer natural myself, but I like makeup on women too. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Women are expected to prep much differently and WAY more effectively than men. So yes, double standard. Whereas men are often expected to do other things in society. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Ahh, good old social engineering ...... Still, the question is how harmful is makeup to the women who enjoy it? I happen to prefer natural myself, but I like makeup on women too. Cleopatra wore make up and jewelry. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Women are expected to prep much differently and WAY more effectively than men. So yes, double standard. Just because women prep DIFFERENTLY doesn't mean it's a double standard. Women and men ARE different. In MANY ways. The sooner you learn these differences the sooner your luck with women will change. Understand that when I say differences, I, in no way, mean inequality. Men and women are equal BUT different. And that's the problem that most of the guys on LS have. They don't understand that a woman needs a man who will be a MAN and let her be a WOMAN. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Ahh, good old social engineering ...... Still, the question is how harmful is makeup to the women who enjoy it? I happen to prefer natural myself, but I like makeup on women too. Speaking of harmful. The last girl I was seeing had acne, and really wanted to get rid of it. She used Proactive and washed her face religiously. However she still put makeup on anytime she got any acne, or any blemish. And I told her itd make it worse and only clog her pores with crap she didnt need on her skin. Of course she didnt listen and the makeup defeated her acne fighting regimen. Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 You missed the part about different societies conditioning men and women to like different things, and how women liking shaving is a new thing in human history. oh man, not sure if you're trolling or just digging your heels in. i don't feel like i'm hard done by at all. so stop defending my rights Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Just because women prep DIFFERENTLY doesn't mean it's a double standard. Women and men ARE different. In MANY ways. The sooner you learn these differences the sooner your luck with women will change. Understand that when I say differences, I, in no way, mean inequality. Men and women are equal BUT different. And that's the problem that most of the guys on LS have. They don't understand that a woman needs a man who will be a MAN and let her be a WOMAN. The fact that women are expected to look much better because they will be judged much more harshly is a double standard. Studies are constantly done on this. Any sociologist will tell you a double standard exist in expectations of male and female beauty. How are you even arguing this? And certain expectations of women, like makeup and total body shaving, are new and uniquely cultural in human history. So explain to me how the standard is even for men and women. Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Speaking of harmful. The last girl I was seeing had acne, and really wanted to get rid of it. She used Proactive and washed her face religiously. However she still put makeup on anytime she got any acne, or any blemish. And I told her itd make it worse and only clog her pores with crap she didnt need on her skin. Of course she didnt listen and the makeup defeated her acne fighting regimen. so... i gather she's your ex now? why do you think that is? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 oh man, not sure if you're trolling or just digging your heels in. i don't feel like i'm hard done by at all. so stop defending my rights If you like doing it, then fine. All Im saying is societal conditioning shouldnt be ignored and that youd likely be a hairy mama if you were born in a different area of the world or a different time period. Same goes for me.so... i gather she's your ex now? why do you think that is? It was a FWB arrangement. Dont make assumptions. And for someone who wanted to call someone else a troll.... Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Just because women prep DIFFERENTLY doesn't mean it's a double standard. Women and men ARE different. In MANY ways. The sooner you learn these differences the sooner your luck with women will change. Understand that when I say differences, I, in no way, mean inequality. Men and women are equal BUT different. And that's the problem that most of the guys on LS have. They don't understand that a woman needs a man who will be a MAN and let her be a WOMAN. oh god I agree with KFJ!! I like being the feminine woman. I like my man to be the masculine male. Yes that includes different "getting ready" routines. He can shower in 5 minutes, I need 20. I bleed like a mofo 5 days out of the month (fml) and he doesn't. It's all good. He has to take out the trash! So ANYWAY, OP....I would basically look at this as an incompatibility. She is showing you now how she is, she is comfortable and this is how she is. That's fine, but if it's not what you want, it's only been 3 mos so I'd just walk. I wouldn't date a dude who was sloppy and in sweats all the time....it's the same thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Also KungfuJoe, Women do want men but what women think is manly, depends on culture. I know several Japanese women that love "pretty" looking guys. Why do you think visual kei is so popular. Masculinity and femininity are subjective and perceptions of such things are conditioned by culture. I remember a time when skinny jeans were considered gay, and now many so called manly men rock em. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Sounds like some people think women shouldn't be able to choose how they want to look. If there is a double standard, so what? I don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Sounds like some people think women shouldn't be able to choose how they want to look. If there is a double standard, so what? I don't care. Let people look how they like. Some folks just seem bent out of shape that I stated a double standard exists and that I like a natural look on women. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 The fact that women are expected to look much better because they will be judged much more harshly is a double standard. Studies are constantly done on this. Any sociologist will tell you a double standard exist in expectations of male and female beauty. How are you even arguing this? And certain expectations of women, like makeup and total body shaving, are new and uniquely cultural in human history. So explain to me how the standard is even for men and women. Studies? Sociologist? See...this is where you lose me. Be a man. Let a woman be a woman. It's that simple. See...when you do and say the things you are saying, you are coming off like you are trying to be the white knight and save women because they can't save themselves. A REAL woman is gonna look at you and think "Who the **** does this guy think he is?". Be a man. Let a woman be a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Buy her new earrings once a week. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Let people look how they like. Some folks just seem bent out of shape that I stated a double standard exists and that I like a natural look on women. I think that while there are people who want to draw attention to the double standard, most people don't care and are quite happy to adhere to it. Me personally, like I said I'm indifferent. If my SO wants to wear makeup, I'm not gonna dissuade her. I still get to see what she looks like in the morning . Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 You're lucky she's pretty without make up. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 You're lucky she's pretty without make up. I was speaking hypothetically - I don't have an SO yet . Link to post Share on other sites
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