lied to me for 11 months before she told me the truth

[jmmuska]

ok i would never do this online **** but i really need some help other than my good friends maybe some more mature advice....since im so young..... this is how it is.....i asked my girlfriend out in september and we have dated until this present time....she told me something on sunday that i will never forget......she lied to me and gave another guy head in november.

 

 

we started to go out everything was fine i asked her numerous times if she ever has cheated on me she said no..... one of my girlfriends told me that she gave this guy head but i didnt believe her because i trusted my girlfriend more....then on sunday i asked her if she cheated on me i didnt get a reply i asked her again and i she still didnt say anything i knew then she did. oh **** i was pissed i talked to her all night til 4 am then the next day we talked all day about it. and now 2 days have passed and im still confused...should i stay with her because i love her so much or should i leave her?????? helpppppp me please

[reservoirdog1]

It depends. When she blew that other guy, was there an understanding that you two were exclusive? If not, then it was a bit tacky of her, but it's not cheating.

 

If you WERE exclusive, then I'd think seriously about continuing with her. You're not married yet, or even close to it. If you were exclusive and she'd cheat that early, then I'd say you're setting yourself up for a world of pain by staying with her.

 

And, as you say, you're young. There's so many other women out there. As for me, my to-be-ex-wife lied to me for seven years before she finally came clean about her serial cheating. It hurts, yes, but at least you can get out while the damage is minimal.

[amer]

The capacity of a cheating woman to to your face about infidelity knows no bounds.

 

Eleven months? That's a walk in the park for her.

[darkside121]

You are totally right. I know how the story goes. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!

[amer]

Sorry, I left oput the key word in my post:

 

Lie.

 

She can lie more often and for a longer period of time than you can convince yourself that is not lying or cheating.

 

That is the nature of a cheating woman.

 

Oh, she'll cry those crocodile tears for sure. Watch for 'em.

[Court]

Well, here it is straight from the lying, cheating bitch.

 

She never meant to hurt the poor boy. Everyone makes mistakes.

 

But in doing this she knew she would have hurt you, so she lied about it to keep from hurting him.

 

Yet another mistake. But maybe not so. If I hadn't lied there wouldn't have ever been a chance for us to fall in love. Funny how love works huh.

 

To conclude, I still love you.

 

And for the rest of you a**h***s who don't understand, go **** yourselves.

[Grinning Maniac]

@Court:

 

*makes slurping noises ala Clerks*

[lifeisloveispain]

Court, I don't know if you're really the chick in question, but if so...

 

I see your point. I've been lied to recently, and I decided on my own that the reason she had lied was pretty much for the exact reason you described. It would just hurt, and not do anyone any good. In my case, I think that my girl was ashamed too, don't know if that applies to you.

 

Your right, everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, you're forgiven, sometimes you're not. Either way, you have to accept the consequences of your actions.

 

If you still love him, and haven't cheated since then, maybe there's hope for you two. And like you said, now the two of you have had the chance to fall in love. Maybe that'll be enough.

 

Jmmuska, I can't tell you if you should leave or stay. Look inside and figure out if you can forgive this. If you can, talk to this girl and try to work things out. Make sure that this was a one-time mistake and that it'll never happen again. I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but in time, it'll fade.

 

If you can't forgive her, or truly think this wasn't just a hurtful mistake that'll never happen again, talk to this girl and tell her why you can't be together. But be honest, so that neither of you ends up anymore hurt than you already are.

 

Oh, and GrinningManiac - you hear that after Kevin Smith said "no more Jay and Silent Bob" he just announced that he's going to do a sequel to Clerks? So much for that (not that I'm complaining).

 

-lifeisloveispain

[swright2farmer]

Well, she should have told you the truth, you can't change what happened, all that matters is that you and her are together now. If I understand it right, you started dating in November, you are still together to this day, she probably didn't predict you guys would stay together, she probably thought it wouldn't work out and you guys would break up, I can't explain why she did it or why she did it to you but at the time I am sure she wasn't in love with you and now I am assuming her feelings to you are mutual. Understand this. I have been married for 4 years. I found out the truth about something that happened 4 years ago that my husband has been lieing about. He was given a lap dance at a strip club for his bachelor party. I am very strongly against any of that, so indeed after I found out he went four years ago I was deeply hurt. He did not tell me the rest of the story to attempt to protect me. Maybe that is what she did for you. To me, it was no place for the friend to tell you. She should have told you. There may be reasoning behing it, such as alcohol or she was pressured, and I udnerstand those aren't excuses but with my husband, men are men and feel pressured and alcohol was involved, which to me, shouldn't matter, he should have stepped up and said no, but like I said earlier, it can't be changed. You need to sit and talk with her before making any drastic decisions, if she is truly the love of your life, you can work through it slowly but surely. Keep you head high and a smile on your face, better days are ahead and if you both are in it for the fight, you will get through this. Your heart will heal and forgive her. I have forgiven my husband but my heart hurts very badly....

[jmargel]

Originally posted by Court

Well, here it is straight from the lying, cheating bitch.

 

Yet another mistake. But maybe not so. If I hadn't lied there wouldn't have ever been a chance for us to fall in love. Funny how love works huh.

 

To conclude, I still love you.

 

And for the rest of you a**h***s who don't understand, go **** yourselves.

 

Chance to fall in love? He fell in love with you under FALSE PRETENSE. How does that make you feel? That he fell in love with a lie?

 

Not only did you cheat on him, but you lied numerous times. A good foundation of a relationship consists of numerous things, but one of the most important ones is trust.

 

With your attitude, why should he have trust in you? You need to prove to HIM that you are worthy of his love. Trust is earned, not given, and frankly dear.. You have alot of catching & growing up to do.