Untouchable_Fire Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 With that being said, I can't help but feel like this was, like Darren said, a massive slap to the face....like why, even if we're not exclusive, would you invite him to my house? Just seems so stupid. It would have been one thing to have done this at a bar, or done this when we were at another location, that I think I could handle, but to do this at my house is something I really don't know if I can swallow. I feel like I wasn't even given the chance to tell her how I felt, I wanted to ask her out on a date but I thought it was too soon. Her past is much more colorful than mine, being with about twice as many people, and I think a decent amount of those were casual sex. We have a long distance relationship, I'm going to see her this weekend and I still have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm with you on this one. It really sounds like she was MORE interested in this other guy and when it didn't pan out came running back to you. You are Mr. BackupGuy. If this were a draft... you'd be waiting until the second day. Personally, she sounds like someone who doesn't consider sex to be a big thing. Dated a few girls like that before... and I've learned that can mean different things. Most commonly it means she is emotionally F*ed in the head, but it can also mean she has a big sex drive and has a manly attitude towards it. When I was young I found the casual sex type girls to be very attractive... but now that I'm older... I can say for sure most are worthless in a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Um the OP said they were having casual sex and the girl didn't know he wanted more, so where exactly do you draw the last sentence from? This sounds like blatant slut shaming to me. I'm going to have to assume that the OP doesn't believe that casual sex is wrong or indicative of "low morals״ seeing he started this relationship as casual sex. Exactly. If a girl doesnt know where she stands shes not obligated to him at all! Its not like when a girl has sex with a guy, she must hold off on all potential encounters until she finds out if the other guy is interested...I know no man I have ever known has that mentality Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I know that she had another f*k buddy while she was hooking up with this guy too. Not sure if that matters. This is new to me cause I really never did the casual sex thing. Our relationship has been really good though, the only drama we have is the drama created when I tell her I'm upset about this. But she doesn't even get mad at me for talking about it, she asks over and over how she can help. We really don't even fight, we have all the same interests and she really is a sweet sweet girl, I do think that this was just a mistake on her part. If thats true about her I would let this go really...few people react that way nowadays. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TarHeel23 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 I was hoping that I wouldn't have to give too many specific details about this, but every time I feel like I'm leaning way, I go back to other. Truth be told, I actually had sex with someone I'm still friends with about two weeks before I got with my current girlfriend... And about a week before that hookup, I had been hooking up with someone for like a month. Each of them, however, I waited to see where they were going before I moved on I know that makes me sound like a hypocrite, but I never did anything so blatantly in someone else's face (Like she did, or that's how I feel at least). Also, I had completely ended things with the two other girls before I hooked up with my GF. The one I had sex with we agreed was a one night stand, and the other girl I was fooling around with I told I didn't want to hang out with anymore right in front of my future GF the night I went home with her for the first time A little more knowledge.....She didn't travel far to see me, we were all living down at the beach for the summer, she (GF) just graduated from college and I was summer after my junior year. Gah I feel like a jackass reading this now, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like I don't have a real good case to be angry, but I guess I felt like hooking up with someone consistently means you're working towards something. She's been with 14 guys, 5 of which were BFs, and I've been with 5, 2 of which were GFs. I guess I'm bothered by the fact that she places so little value on sex, like each time I had sex I considered it going somewhere, and I never like juggled hookups the way she did. I know it sounds immature, but my hookups were ones that I waited to see where they went, even though they were mainly drunken encounters. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable with how much more experience she has than me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TarHeel23 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 5 gals.... by the way Link to post Share on other sites
Author TarHeel23 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 i didn't say that, or if i did, didn't mean too. I hadn't had sex with anyone for about 3 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
DazedConfusedEtc Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 As I posted earlier I've been in the same predicament for a while. And part of what did bother me is that my bf is more experienced. I finally found something that works -- every time u picture her with this guy, replace it with an image of you with one of these other women. It restores the balance and helps you realize that what she did before isn't relevant now -- if you did that stuff and are 100% committed and she accepts you , it should work the other way around too. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Don't feel bad about feeling the way you do. There is nothing wrong with accepting your own set of values and comparing them to a potential partner. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I was hoping that I wouldn't have to give too many specific details about this, but every time I feel like I'm leaning way, I go back to other. Truth be told, I actually had sex with someone I'm still friends with about two weeks before I got with my current girlfriend... And about a week before that hookup, I had been hooking up with someone for like a month. Each of them, however, I waited to see where they were going before I moved on I know that makes me sound like a hypocrite, but I never did anything so blatantly in someone else's face (Like she did, or that's how I feel at least). Also, I had completely ended things with the two other girls before I hooked up with my GF. The one I had sex with we agreed was a one night stand, and the other girl I was fooling around with I told I didn't want to hang out with anymore right in front of my future GF the night I went home with her for the first time A little more knowledge.....She didn't travel far to see me, we were all living down at the beach for the summer, she (GF) just graduated from college and I was summer after my junior year. Gah I feel like a jackass reading this now, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like I don't have a real good case to be angry, but I guess I felt like hooking up with someone consistently means you're working towards something. She's been with 14 guys, 5 of which were BFs, and I've been with 5, 2 of which were GFs. I guess I'm bothered by the fact that she places so little value on sex, like each time I had sex I considered it going somewhere, and I never like juggled hookups the way she did. I know it sounds immature, but my hookups were ones that I waited to see where they went, even though they were mainly drunken encounters. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable with how much more experience she has than me? You are being a huge hypocrite. Slept with 2 girls right before you got with your gf yet youre judging her??? If I were dating you, Id be judging you for sleeping with 2 women right before me...I would be thinking the sex means nothing to you quite honestly...yet you post here worrying about how she doesnt hold much value on sex...you dont either. sorry. you're made for each other Link to post Share on other sites
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