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Staying in co worker role. Is that possible??


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HI everyone...

 

Well I have to deal with the sm in my life that is an ex and I now have to find a way to deal. How does one cope when someone is a coworker and you see them all the time and work together. How in the world can I deal with this??

 

On top of that my husband who is aware of the om is very supportive and must cross his path occasional. Iceburgs and civility. Do I need to quit my job all together? Or can we all stay friends in some remote odd relationship??

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It depends. I think you should look for another job in the meantime, and make your husband aware you're looking for a way to cease all contact with this guy.

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I don't think it's possible to stay friends or co-workers, for that matter.

 

I am in that situation myself right now after breaking it off with my OW. I have to move on or my relationship with my wife will suffer. On the other hand, I know that my ex-OW and I are highly vulnerable to each other and by staying friends we are really maintaining an expectation that at some point our relationship can go back to being lovers. Sorry to give you the bad news, but the only way to keep your spouse happy, your mind on your spouse, and to keep your affair partner (and yourself) sane is to move on completely, which includes leaving your job so that there is no possibility of contact between the two of you at work. That's just the way it is; anything else is fooling yourself and setting the stage for more trouble down the road. Anything else is just an illusion, a tricky, sick, lie that you don't want to tell yourself if you are serious about getting away from your affair. It's hard, but this is the only way of dealing with this sort of thing.

 

I hope this helps,

Yogurtu

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