I still think about her everyday

[hurtingandconfused]

I'm not really asking for any advice. I know the best thing for me is to leave it and let it be. I have not express my feelings for a long while now. I just want to be heard.

 

It's been about 9 months now. The pain has gone away. But, unfortunately I still think of my ex.

 

I don't know what I want, or why I still think of her. I've been out with other girls, but really I am not looking for anyone. I am just trying to have fun. But, it sucks when you still have the ex lingering in the back of your head.

 

I don't talk to her, and I have not tried to contact her. I know she feels for me, but I do not want anything from her. I don't know why I still think of her. Of course I will love her until I die, that will never change.

 

Life is...

taking losses and becoming a better person.

[frogprinz29]

I heard ya and I'm understandin' what you've said. I'm sorry for the loss, grief, and emotional rollercoaster that you've endured through the past 9 months. I've been throwin' out my feelings and experience here and there in LS for about 3 weeks now. I've been readin' about the experiences of others and re-learning about how to cope with my break up.

 

I'm nearing 7 months post-breakup from a 9 year relationship. I'm still feeling the sting of its beginning, but everyday I'm feeling less of the heartache, or just getting better at blocking it out. My x and I have done wrong to each other. I still love and care for her dearly, and I would like to think she feels the same for me. The thoughts of her are the first and last of my day still. I don't have the desire or feel the inclination of dating or meeting new people yet. At times, I feel the loneliness. I've been with the woman for so long, it's hard to not notice her absence.

 

I've just been concentrating on myself, my interests, and my future. At times I wonder about what she's doin', how she's feelin' (I hope she is happy), and if she's met someone who is treating her well and making her happy. I wonder, in 9 months or at the 1 year mark, if I'll still be feeling the same way as I do now, like yourself.

 

My x and I stopped talking about 2 months ago. I wondered if she thought about me as I have of her. The other day she e-mailed me. She opened "How are you doing?". Then told me that it was time for her to renew AAA and that she renewed it without me on the policy. "I thought it best that way" was what she closed with. I already knew that she was going to do this. I don't really know why she felt that she had to e-mail me this reminder. At first, I thought "how considerate of her", then I thought "wow, what a way of rubbing things in. Just a little twist of the dagger to remind me of the end of our relationship".

 

I still love and care for her dearly, and I would like to think she feels the same for me

I wondered if she thought about me as I as have her.

 

After reading her e-mail, I still feel the same for her. I am somewhat confused about "why" now, because what she wrote seems unneccesary, thoughtless, and uncaring. That rollercoaster of mine took a dive. It's like trying to travel uphill only to slide back down twice the distance I just travelled. Enough of my ramble. Good luck to ya and everyday passing makes us stronger, better, and wiser.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

I read your posts and I am feeling the same as you all, I miss my ex and I wonder what she is doing, if she is ok and if she is seeing someone. You both had a long realtionship history with your ex's....All over this forum everyone says time is the factor to heal all heartbreaks, I just wish they had a time limit so that the hurting will not take so long....I have to take care of my self now and my life before I can be good for someone....I also dont feel like dating someone, or going out...Its just hard for me to see people right now...last week I was out shopping and allof the sudden I had this rush and felling of lonelyness, sadness and feeling sick and I had to go home quickly...I guess maybe seeing people ie couples together set me offf I dont know...I am feeling better a little as the days go by, this forum has helped me a lot.

Like you all I wonder if she is feeling the same way I am feeling, I dont know....but all I know is that I wish we were not feeling this sadness......I still miss her....

[EC]

Dont you hate that? Why is is that when you break up is when a new hot love song comes on the radio, or like valentines is the next day, or all of a sudden allllll your single friends FINALLY find someone??

 

Thats the worst.

[djones]

EC,

 

Tell me about it, when I got the news of the break up, on the radio, the song by Enrique Inglesis "just want to be with you" was playing...Yeah also I am the last (and still) of my group of friends that have someone (they are all engaged...we are all 30 something) and me and my big mouth kept telling the guys about this girl and that weekend I was going to bring her to meet my best friends and their better halves and she dumped me that week.....theres luck for you!!

[EC]

I'm so sorry. I know exactly how that feels.

 

Like when I had to go to a military ball and I bought my special "cindarella dress' like I liked to call it just so he can see me in it and he broke up with me like the day right before and I cried the whole time I was putting my dress on and till I got to the ball. I was there but my prince was out with the wicked step sister lol.

 

It was not fun.

[djones]

EC,

 

Boy that sucks!!....I hope your prince comes and puts that glass slipper on you:)....I cant figure out why these things are happening to the people on this forum....everyone here is so loving to their ex's and put thier best foot forward to make a reltionship work and it seems like the other half gets scared or thinks they can find a better person or whatever and we are left holding the bag....Its not fair...I know lifes not fair, I am not asking for the moon, just a little moon light to fix a broken heart....like the rest of you all....

[EC]

I've just been concentrating on myself, my interests, and my future. At times I wonder about what she's doin', how she's feelin' (I hope she is happy), and if she's met someone who is treating her well and making her happy. I wonder, in 9 months or at the 1 year mark, if I'll still be feeling the same way as I do now, like yourself.

 

I haven't spoken to my ex for over a year and a half already. NC.

 

I still think about him sometimes. I wonder what hes doing. How his life is. If he found love.

 

But before I used to think about those things and breakdown but time really does heal and now they are nothing but thoughts.

 

I still see something that reminds me of him and think about him every now and then and smile to my self.

 

A lil private joy I guess but thats it..It really doesn't hurt anymore. I look at it as a lesson learned and I continue to move on.

 

You guys will all be fine. Trust me. If I'm a super sensitive girl and I got through it, you guys can definitely make it through this. no sweat!

[djones]

Thanks EC that makes feel better....I was just listening to a song by Don Henly....one of the lyrics say "this is the last worthless evening you will have to spend, give me a chance to show you how to love again"....I think I will take those words and use them on my self and pick my self off the floor and start healing....well all will get through this

[frogprinz29]

I'm sorry that you guys experienced some terrible event leading up to your break ups. We all have gone through differing times after our break ups. We are experiencing or have experienced the same emotions post-break up. It's amazing how so many people are experiencing the heartache from a break up. IT SUCKS.

 

wish they had a time limit so that the hurting will not take so long....

 

Damn, I wish this too. I compare my post-breakup experience as a roller coaster. My emotions and how I feel "go up and down", with varying degrees of ups and downs. I recently figured out that I can actually get off this roller coaster at anytime and move on. It's just a matter of finding the strength or will to do this.

 

A friend just told me that, "You lie in the bed that you make, but there's no reason why you can't change the sheets."

 

Those songs can really get to ya too, I have to agree.

 

You guys will all be fine. Trust me.

 

Thanks for the encouragement, EC. I know this will be true...for all of us. EC will meet her wonderful prince and DJ will meet a wonderful woman who will proud to be with him. This unfortunatey may take some time and a twist of fates. We just have to bear through this time and improve upon ourselves. Take care.

[Blah Toolz]

Hey hurting, I've read some of your posts before, and I think you are doing well. The attitude that you've shown has helped me to act strong in my situation as well.

 

You're a little further along than I am... but I know what you mean. I've dated around quite a bit now, have enjoyed the freedoms of being single... but I always think about the ex. I always wish that I could have her with there with me when I go to a party... or go for a few drinks with new female friends.

 

Been almost six months for me out of a 2 year relationship... and I still feel the pain sporadically. I can think back on some events now with a clear head, but it seems like I get the sinking feeling every now and again.

 

I think I remember you saying that your ex called you up saying that she missed you, and wanted to get back together? Or that you guys hooked up again? How long after you broke up did this happen? I haven't spoken to mine in a while now... I've given up on counting how long it was since the last time. I just know she's different now, and I don't need to waste my time calling her up and being made a fool of.

 

I've said before... I wish I had the gratification of knowing she misses me. But I don't. She said that "It was her fault that she's alone," and she was basically crying about two weeks after we split, but nothing since then. Painful to think she doesn't miss me, but I like your quote at the end of your post. Life is about taking losses and becoming a better person. I think that is something to think about... even though I feel like dog**** right now... I can tell myself that, and know that other people have been through it, and are strong enough to get through it... and I can be too.

[djones]

FP.

 

 

Thanks....I have been going through the same highs and lows like you....the best way you described it as a roller coaster. That hits the nail right on the head the way I feel. Hehe its funny in reality I HATE roller coasters (always get sick from them)...now I have another reason to hate them...the emotions that I am feeling the highs and lows also are making me sick! Well one thing atleast real roller coasters only last a short time....lets hope we all get off this damn emotional roller coaster soon! Yeah strength or will to do this is hard to find, but i just thought of something we are all going through the same thing and this forum is a way inorder draw strenght from each other to cope with this crap. We should tell one another what we are going through and also tell another the good days we have big or small and perhaps the day will come where we find MS or MR Right... and we all can share in that happyness untill it happens to us....I know it sounds like a made for TV story ending, but It would be nice to hear that one of us has found someone to love them on this forum.....It would be nice to get romantic ideas from you all on where to take ms/mr right than to only consoul a person (which we all will do anyway if need be)....Take care guys

[EC]

I actually did find someone Jones and he loved me and it was great.

 

He fell in love and I had a great time but It just wasn't the same. It reminds me of a song by singer calld 'Sade' called "Never as good as the first time'

 

 

It was actually the closest I have gotten to person in a long time and the first real relationship that I have had after my ex. But I found myself, not wanting to be with my ex, or comparing him to my ex, but I just remember feeling with him that this is nice but I've felt so much more before. But I have come to the conclusion that thats only because it was my first love and I was experiencing all those things for the very first time and so that s why it was sooo intense and innocent and I will never have that again.

 

Too bad the guy I met just had to leave back to school (8 hours away)this past saturday and so I'm alone again. Damn...why did he have to go when I was finally doing sooo good?

 

So anyways now even though he just moved I feel like Im going through a breakup. I cant see him when I want, I see couples and I think I have one too but hes just far away and I get so sad.

 

But oh well what are you gonna do? I have to just go with the flow and see how it turns out.

[djones]

EC,

 

I hope it works out for you!! distance is always a pain in the @ss! I just hope this guy knows how lucky he is to have someone like you and that he makes an effort to see you....yeah just go with the flow dont feel like its a break up, your guy is still will you just that he is in your heart on in your arms....with a break up you dont have that all you feel is an empty heart and you cant pick up the phone to call them for confort....you have that option to call and still be with him..even if its 8 hours away......keep me posted on how you are doing....

[EC]

Your so understanding Jones...

 

For now we are good..Hes called an e-mailed. I was just a litlle insecure because hes in his sophomore year in college, just got an apartment with his 2 best guy friends, and he still young (20) and I'm his first serious gf thats lasted longer than a week and first girl hes said I love you to.

 

I'm falling in love with him everyday a little more but I have my wall up (for obvious reasons) and I just think that our chances at staying together are slim or that he will cheat and I worry but I have to have trust. And I do but still college, own pplace, SINGLE guy roomates, only 20....I worry. But he;s coming down to visit this weekend then the next, and then I have to figure out a way to go visit him and this will go on till March that he comes for 3 months for the summer.

 

I hope we do good because he really is a great guy. But I'll keep you posted..I'm pretty sure I will be venting here at 3 am if ever I call and his phone is off or something lol.

[djones]

EC,

 

hehe understanding...code word "nice guy"...Could explain my history with women, I just think about the other persons feelings....but it does not go in m favour in the women dept. Well lets hope that he knows he got a good thing (you) and that he will not cheat on you. Yeah its college but people just also know that college is a place for being responsible for your own action, not just the fun you see on movies. I honestly dont kow why people would cheat on someone...if you are with someone they should be the only one you want to be with....yeah you can have a fantacy about someone but thats as far as it should go.....maybe i am just old fashioned...hehe im 30 and I talk like am a 60 year old doc!....the 3 am phone calls...God i miss those late night calls with my ex we would talk for hours to the point where one of us going to fall asleep.........Well just vent if you have too we all will be here....Hey EC if i may ask how old/young are you?

[EC]

Im only a baby.. lol 19!

[djones]

hehe well you are wise for your age!!

[hurtingandconfused]

Blah Toolz

 

I think I remember you saying that your ex called you up saying that she missed you, and wanted to get back together? Or that you guys hooked up again? How long after you broke up did this happen?

 

Actually we saw each other at a party unexpectedly. She told me she missed me; I never asked her if she did. She also told me that she wanted to call me so many times, but she made herself not to.

 

However, she never said anything about getting back together. But she did say that she wanted to see me again. (whatever that meant.) And, yes we did hook up.

 

She broke up with me in December/January. I saw her in July.

 

Good luck with everything.

[pixie2004]

Why do we still have feelings for our exes. I've been with my b/f for 5 yrs now and I still think of my EX. This is ridiculous. Life should be easier. One pill and you forget that your ex exist... Any labrats around that would like to test my concoction?

 

 

[djones]

Hey Hurt,

 

I think you are doing fine, just keep on going, I think you are getting to the point where your ex will just be a faint memory...the sting will allways be there, but eventually the pain will be less and less, like a paper cut, it hurts like heck at first then evenutally is goes away....I know its hard, I am still hurting and have no interests in meeting people. Just keep on doing what you are doing...go on dates have fun, your girl is out there, just like the rest of us,, well just have to find out where they all hang out if you find out let us know!

[EC]

A broken Heart Hurts Like A PaperCut.

 

 

So true so true. lol

[djones]

hehe, yeah it does....I think I rather be hit on the head with a baseball bat, that to have another broken heart....you can fix a broken head with some tape and a little time....with a broken heart you will get better in time but you still have some residual feelings of that person.....