a confusing story, anyone have any advice?

[sexykitten]

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Lets start from beginning.

 

I first took him to the gay club when he was 19 and I told him I was lesbian and he saw me with girls and stuff. I got my first girlfriend and we have been together ever since.

 

He started making out with guys than told me he was gay and I was happy but then something happened and he said he wasn't gay and said he was just experimenting to see what it was like because I had done it. he seems to do a lot of things I do. Anyway for the next three years he saw girls and no guys and one night I have always sensed he has had an attraction to me but he is my cuz and i'm lesbian.

 

One night we kissed, I was well drunk and started kissing him, he didn't seem to mind and carried on and even asked me if I had turned straight and forgotton my girlfriend who at this point we had splited up so we were not together, the started to get all weird on me and kept looking at me and said he it was difficult and I went back to my girlfriend, he didn't speak to me for months and months. A few months ago we met up and he told me he was gay, I was happy and we never spoke of that night. We went out to a club and he told me was in love with a woman ( i thought god he is confused isn't he), than he hugged me, I said If I wasn't your cuz would you date me and stuff and he said stop embarrassing me, I laughed and he said maybe I would but he is still supposed to be gay. He always says to me I need a man to turn me etc but if he is so gay he should understand its not that easy to just turn.

 

I know its a long rant and stuff but he is freaking me out in many ways. One night I could feel him pressing against me and one time he out his hand on my bum and said it was so no one else looks at me. He doesn;t act like any of my other gay friends but he has got something gay about him and he does fancy guys and stuff I just wish I didn't get this feeling he likes me a bit more than he should.

 

Any advice guys?

[uriel]

Sounds like your cousin might be bisexual -- and that he's interested in you, which your post suggests you already know very well. He's afraid of getting rejected because of the incest and lesbian angles.

 

He may even be unsure of whether he wants to act again on a non-gay / hetero impulse, since that might mess with his own identity. Plenty of gay men and lesbian women have negative responses to the bi label.

 

The question is -- what do you want to do about this? Your post suggests you are interested in him, too (from the kissing incident). Do you want to cross into bi territory?

 

Do you want to cross family lines and face that social taboo? In modern American society, many people consider second cousins acceptable, but not first. In the 19th century, first cousins often married. How would your family react? How would you, over time?

 

-- uriel

[Barby]

You are the one who started kissing him, and said things like

I said If I wasn't your cuz would you date me and stuff and he said stop embarrassing me, I laughed and he said maybe I would but he is still supposed to be gay.

 

Sounds like YOU like him more than YOU should also. First off he is your cousin and if you're comfortable going there well I guess that's your choice but I can imagine that would come along with a lot of issues in it's self. Secondly, you have a girl friend (who would probably be really hurt if she knew you were entertaining thoughts of sleeping with your cousin). And lastly, he may be confused about his sexuality and trying to figure out who he really is. With you making comments like you do you're probably leading him to believe he has a chance to "hook up" with you, and along with the fact that you kissed him.

 

Alcohol usually doesn't "make" someone do things, it usually aids them in throwing caution to the wind and doing something they've wanted to do but haven't had the guts to do when they're sober.

 

 

My question is...how do you really feel about him?